what i wish to tell ashton!

I wish you the best but your daughter is your blood and needs you more then a man does I dont care if its your high school sweet heart or not, your daughter will know that because of her real father you picked him insted of her and you could have made it just fine with or with out that jerk and with out all the nice things that parents want to give there children. What parents dont understand is all that children need is love and that is priceless, a man will come and go but a child is there for life.

As an a/mom who saw a somewhat similar situation with my daughter's b/mom's decision....first of all if your baby girl has been with her new family for these 7 months, she is already quite bonded with them. to take her back now, if the adoption is not yet final, would be hard for your baby. --- I guess my take on this is, you had several reasons for your decision, and whatever happens now and/or later with the birth dad, you made the decision you felt was best for Ashton for "more than one" reason, not just becuase of the b/dad. --- Also I want to say to the person who replied to your thread first: ANY adopted child is going to feel that they were given up in favor of something or someone else. there is no way around that. i am watching my 11 y/o go thru it now. as she grows older, she digests more,and grapples more with, all the history around her adoption (all the history I can supply, anyway). BUT, she DOES have a better life with me and her a/dad than she would have had otherwise. she is happy with us and secure in our family's love. AND, A BIRTH MOM IS NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN GIVE A CHILD THE LOVE OF A MOTHER. love is not enough by itself, without a couple of other essential things. if a b/mom sees that she can't give her child those other things, and has the courage to admit it, and tries to get a stable family life for her baby thru letting the baby be adopted, MORE POWER TO HER AND GOD BLESS HER. don't bash her. she is hurting enough. thanks for letting me share.

magpie92154, I really apprecaite what you said....Im not trying to get Ashton back...and i have never tried....She was only 7 months old then i had no pictures letters nor phone calls that was promised to me and i was Heart broken like you said...... I don't regret the choice i made for Ashton... She is now 17 months old and knows sign languge, she is running around.......And with the bdad well we didn't work things out then and we have tried since i came home from kuwait in July.. and that didn't work, i have moved on since then....and i know that i did the best thing i could have ever done for ashton....I love her so much and she will always have a place in my heart! she is my first born, no one will ever replace her or anthing that is my daughter, and now i have the best relationship with her parents now! i have had a visit wtih them and it was over 4 hours long....i thank God for the gift of life he allowed me to have to give to another family, to give them all they have ever wanted! Im proud to say that im a BirthMother To Ashton Marie!!! and i know that she will love me and thank me in the future for giving her the gift of life!! the thing with her bdad is i was with him for 8 years and i was go guilble to him and he was my weakness.. Now i know im strong and i can go on with my lifeand i have.....Like you said she doesn't just have 1 mom she has a mother and a mom! one who gave her life and one who will lead the way for her future!! I am proud to say that now im stable and i have a college degree now and im with the best guy ever!! and i know that i will always be in Ashton's Life...and she will always be a part of mine!!! i have some one who accepts me for who i am and he doesn't judge me....i didn't want to have to depend on welfare to raise my child.....i want her to have everything that i never had!! i want her to be the Dr. that finds the cures!!! I love her with all my heart and not a day goes by that i don't think about her!! but i know she is in a save place, full of love and support for her! her mom and dad are so loveing and they make me feel like i am a blessing that i am cared about and that not just cause i gave them life, that i mean more to them!!! like i said thank you for backing me up i didn't know what to say when she replied to that... i wrote that almost 11 months ago.....things change with time , and i will say she needs to expand her knowlege before she goes preachingin the choir!! and that hurt what she said because i didn't chose to place her because of a man.... I would never do that! once again thank you for backing me up!! GOD BLESS YOU! :D :D

Hi Hon. So glad to hear all your good news and I will keep you in my prayers!!! thanks for letting me know how things are with you now i am so happy for you. and so glad you have a good relationship with the a/parents & can rest easy about who is caring for your precious child. I know I will never, ever receive as wonderful a gift from the Lord as I did when they put my Katie in my arms 11 years ago. It is often bumpy for us, she has ADHD and mood disorder and now puberty, oh joy! BUT, she is always and forever the love of my life. she is my only child. anyway, God bless you! Margaret--proud mom of Katherine Romans 8:28

I will Never forget March 22, 2003 3:59 am...The day OUR bundle of Joy was brought into this world! I will always know that Ashton has 2 Mothers!!!! and i will say it time and time again that she has one mother that gave her life and one that leads her life to the future! Im very greatful that I have the parents for Ashton... There not much older than me there still in there Twenties......What bothers me is when people reply to post on here and have not a clue to whats going on!!! I know i should have dated it. But now she is starting to form her personailty, she is growing so much... and since i have had my visit, the amom tells me she has grown so much! I know that i can't be there to see Ashton grow, but i know in my heart that she is loved and yes i can sleep with ease. I know she is taken care of, loved, and Heaven sent!!! Im Glad you have your bundle of Joy! I can't wait to see Ashton go through puberty...man oh man, i hope she doesn't fall in love like i did with her bdad....Im not going to say is was a mistake and that i regret him, but i will say he will forever be in my heart, and we will always be tied togahter by a CORD and that is call Adoption.... And she is a spitting image of him and it drives me nuts!!!!!! she looked just like me as a baby....what happend? lol BUt she has a bad temper her amom says when she throws her temper tantrums that she makes sure its good.... I just laugh, she is such a people person, loves pets, and still doen't have enough hair for a bow! her amom says she is having Bow withdrawls i just laugh cause my mom has told me that i didn't have any hair until i was 18 months old........But thank you!!!!!! you set that girl straight... i think if i would have done that it wouldn't have been said nicely as you put it.....I wished she would be more open minded in to what she says and understands the words she uses..and how she uses them.. and understand that im sure not the only one that has tried to patch things up this with the childs bdad...come on do you think its easy to get over 8 years with one person.. that you love and yall created life...for me i guess im a sucker but it isn't easy for me to just "get over" him...BUt i have moved on and i have met a great Man..that i can see myself with in the future and i have been honest with him since day one!!! i have been up front about the adoption and he knows that i have nothing to hide from him...He is very understanding to Ashton.. he knows that i have done the best thing that i could have ever done with Ashton! and he is like me he wants a yard full of children lol .... its so great.. my day isn't complete unless i talk or see him!!! its like cupid got ahold of me! but im too scared to let him know, because of my past i wasn't allowed to say how i felt and that is a draw back on my part.. but thank you for talkin to me i really enjoy it!! i will keep you posted on how things are!! if you would like to see Ashton's pictures e-mail me at rebel_babe_always@yahoo.com i would love to share them with you!! once again thank you Psalm 100 meredith

hi mere, it's me again. thanks for writing. and for noticiing that i really did try to "put it nicely" when i was telling that person what was what!! it was hard cause i was TICKED!! :0) but as an a/mom i have so often found that people say all kinds of things ("oh what a precious baby, but aren't you worried about her GENES? and how could anyone give up her baby? maybe is there anything WRONG with the baby? did the mom use drugs? how much do you know about her "REAL" family? where is the "REAL MOM"? and on, and on and on!!!!!) ......and usually they don't mean them to be as truly hurtful as they are....they just don't get it...so i tried to restrain myself. :0) plus i am a Christian so I didn't want to just really lay in to her. (well....) anyway, my girl's b/mom tried for years to work things out with the b/dad, & they were together off and on for several years after my dtr was born, but they are not together now. although they are in contact. my heart has gone out to her cause i could tell she wanted it to work out so bad over the years. i will be SO glad when she finds someone who will truly appreciate her. so, it encourages me to hear that you are seeing someone who sounds like a good man! they are so rare! take care and God Bless. Margaret - proud daughter of Katherine H., proud mother of Katherine B. Romans 8:28