where to look

And if you decide to go the 'private adoption' route.......you might start by checking with the website of the American Academy of Adoption ATtorneys. Click on your state and surrounding states to find 'members'. They are to specialize in adoption. Don't be discouraged if you call one that is very expensive....as not all of them are! Also, don't think that just because it's a private adoption....it has to be so expensive that you can't ever afford it. It can be done----often for less than you think. While Julianna Teresa has given you excellent sites and suggestions.......we have adopted privately and from the state system. We prefer private adoption and have gone back to this form of adoption. Good luck in whatever you choose!!!!!!! Sincerely, Linny

Cheryl, Whatever route you decide to take, state vs. private, domestic vs. international, adoption is a wonderful way to have a family. Both Linny and Juliana Teresa have given you excellent advice and suggestions. No, you're not dreaming, kids who need a mom like you are out there. Good luck and please keep the rest of us over 40's up to date on your progress. Tim

What has been working very well for me, was to first call the Colorado Adoption Exchange (because I live in Colorado) and they gave me the contact names and phone numbers for the Child Services departments in several counties, and they told me which counties got the best reports from people they referred. Each county that has a significant number of children to place (my own county doesn't) has regular orientations (such as monthly). The Adoption Exchange recommended I attend several different counties' orientations to see which program sounded the best to me. I chose the county that I work in, because they claim to have about an 85% success rate at predicting which children are going to become adoptable (though they warned us in class that we should each consider our own situation to be 50-50), and also they are very generous about providing monthly amounts of money (not much, in the two to three hundred dollar range, but as a single person, I figure it is like having a ex-spouse paying child support so I don't feel guilty about it at all), whereas a neighboring county refuses to give any money at all and has an attitude about potential-parents even asking about it. Anyway, that is what has worked for me. Unfortunately (for me) my first match that was supposed to become adoptable is almost certainly going home (new home with bio-dad, not the original bad home) in less than two weeks, but they warned me of the unexpected change in the case just before the child moved in, and I could have (if I was a heartless monster) cancelled that child coming. But it has worked out very well because I needed to learn how to be a mom, and this kid that I've got is a really great kid. I'm only worried that I've gotten too spoiled and will be in shock with the next match if they aren't a perfect kid too!