Pic of daughter - TEMPORARY THREAD ONLY

Kim, She is so cute!!! You are right God does have a plan:) TanyaB

Kim, Your daughter is beautiful. I was born in Panama (Gorgas Hosptial) and would eventually like to adopt from Panama. For now, I am enjoying my two sons (foster-adoptions) and fostering other children.

She is beautiful. If the child we get is half as gorgeous as your daughter we will be thrilled. How old was she when you adopted her? How difficult was it with a child who had been institutionalized for so long?

Talk about a FLOOD of memories!!! Gorgas was, literally, "spooky" when it closed down. I would drive by, and feel disbelief that only a month before, I had walked thru the doors to take my son to his audiology appointment! Seemed like such a waste (at the time) that they didn't keep it open as a hospital... My daughter's adoption was handled right there at the Family Court. I loved looking at the houses up there on the hill.... and St. Luke's Church... OH.... and walking to Central Avenue from there! When was the last time you were back? ~Kim P. *gotta get kids to school... will answer the next questions in a bit...

Haven't been back since I left in 1969. I would like to take my boys down there and activate my citizenship while there. We lived in La Chorrera while my dad was stationed at Howard AFB. Of course, this was during Vietnam and he didn't spend much time at the base. I have some wonderful pictures of our neighbors in the village. I still have the crucifix that was given to me on my christening by the boy next door. It's hard to believe it ever fit. I can't remember the name of the church. It's an Episcopal church that sits up on a hill.

... would probably be St. Luke's -- which is just next to Gorgas Hospital and Quarry Heights area....... The PCC (Panama Canal Commission) Building sits up on that hill to (except at the other end)... and there are diplomat's homes up there as well as the Smithsonian. If, at the end of the road where the church is at, you take a right... you'll come upon the new tourist - re-creation of a Kuna Village, which is high up on the other side of that hill. Before the village was constructed (and during construction), we would go to the restaurant next to it (such a neat area), which I can't remember the name of, and watch the dancers in their polleras there..... also.... if you go there during the day, they do demonstrations of early Panamanian days/life..... and tucked back in the corner is a beverage "hut" where you can buy THE BEST PAPAYA SHAKE ever......... SOOOOOOO good......... made with fresh papaya, ice, sugar, and evaporated milk........ ~Kim

Juliana was 2 1/2 when we first met her (I was volunteering at the orphanage - not seeking to adopt). We had custody about a year later (it took a few months to get that done - her case was originally being handled in a province WAY NORTH of Panama City, so we had the case moved down to P.C. since that's where she was originally born). Juliana's situation was unique in that she lived with her birth mom in a home for unwed mothers in P.C. from day one. They shared the same bed! Birth mom was just too young and immature to care properly for Juli (pretended to feed her, lied about having fed her.. etc... to the extent where Juli was hospitalized for severe malnutrition as an infant). B/M was just 13. The b/m eventually took her, on her OWN accord, to the orphanage, knowing she could not care for Juli - she also expressed fear she would abuse Juli (her father beat her - left scars all over her face and body). She was a very bright young girl - and insisted on meeting any family who tried to adopt her. So, we had many visits with her. Anyway.... Juliana's biggest "emotional" harm was done by taking her from the environment she had always known to an orphanage. She was quiet, withdrawn, defiant (survival mode), and clearly not able to identify with the other children there (she played alone, or with just one friend at a time, and would NOT go to strangers, even when they had candy and goodies). She was lucky to have had one sole caregiver in her life - she started off right, even with the malnutrition. However, she DID have issues with hiding food (in her mouth overnight), regressed potty training (temporary situation, she eventually got out of pull ups and it was no big deal), defiance issues (would just stare at you with no emotion), and she had issues with injuries in that she wouldn't tell you she was seriously hurt (cut off the tip of her finger accidentally, and not ONE sound came out of her... we found her in the bathroom trying to stop the bleeding herself, and there were other accidents like this). One thing that worked with Juliana is reverse psychology, of all things. IE: Hey Juli - could you go run up and down the steps carelessly ONE MORE TIME, so that this time, when you fall and break your arm, I can go with to the hospital - because I REALLY like looking at xrays and watching doctors put casts on broken bones... it will really hurt when they set the bone, of course..... but it's cool to watch." *She stopped running up and down the steps. Another example: "Hey Jake (my son)... now that Juliana has decided to get off that chair we asked her to sit in - you can sit there - I know HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO SIT IN THAT COOL CHAIR - so now's your chance." (Juli would then RACE back into the chair --- this worked at restaurants, stores, etc). Juli's hang ups revolved around (mostly) two issues: A need to be right (because being wrong only verified that she was somehow defective... justifying why she was given up by her birth mom.. SO she couldn't have THAT), and making sure NOT to do what we asked her to do - because doing that would be submitting control of her life over to us - and she was in charge of her own survival, and doing "quite well on her own,thank you very much" (in her opinion).... Now, at age 9 - we have very minor issues we still iron out. She has brought up her birth mom from time to time, but that's O.K. WITH US - We allow her to explain her adoption to her friends her OWN way, and any way she likes... although recently I requested that she refer to b/m as "birth mom" or "bio mom" vs. "real mom" (which is what one of her friends filled me in on one day - it was like a dagger in my heart when she said, "Juli says her real mom is in Panama" - I know it was from lack of a better term to use, but it did sort of pinch a little.. we talked about it together... and I told her it would be like me telling someone she was not my "real" daughter.. and a light bulb went off in her head, and she got it. :) ) One other little thing that she did a lot when she was younger, and I saw that MOST of the children at the orphanage did was be VERY VERY CARELESS with toys. They didn't just PLAY with a toy, they BROKE the toy within SECONDS of having it.... just an extraordinary need for destruction. Obviously, that comes from having never had a new toy, or been taught about caring for things, etc. To this day, Juliana still breaks things VERY quickly (like within minutes of receiving a toy)...... but this has MUCH IMPROVED over the past year... and trust issues are important to her now that she wants more privileges (and we insist she must prove we can trust her). Also - Juliana and I were just talking last night... I was hugging her and told her how wonderful these past few weeks have been. She has, for whatever reason, stopped arguing with me over every little issue (again - she hates to be wrong - and is always on the defensive over the SMALLEST little things)...... I don't know what it is... but it has just been a delightful past few weeks, and she seems to have moved on.... She has just begun participating in two new afterschool activities, so this may have something to do with it. She's growing, maturing and changing, and everyday is better than the one before. We've had a few incidents where someone has outright asked Juliana why she is a different skin color from me --- and she provides a very good response: My brother looks like my mom... and I look like my dad. :) That pretty much ends the discussion..... but it also reminds me that she has never discussed or inquired about her birth FATHER, whom we know nothing about. I wonder when that's coming... and what to say!? One other interesting note...... my friends who adopted infants STILL had "issues" with their kids that were similar to Juliana's. It mystifies us how this could be since the infants would have no recollection of being institutionalized (but we all know that bonding with a mom from day one is proven imperative to development) - but there hasn't been anything that hasn't been easily worked out or easily understood. :) Just remember that toddlers typically had to fend for themselves in an institutional setting, and are, basically, in charge of their own little lives - and can have a difficult time handing over their personal care, safety and well being to someone else.... it could be a lifelong habit.... and you just have to find ways to work with it... giving them control over things that AREN'T as important. Your unconditional love for them can be tough to convey every now and then - sometimes they cling to the idea that they were "discarded".... I wish I knew more about the subject, but I do a lot of reading and "preparing" for when she's a teenager, and her adoption issues become a crutch (God Help Me! LOL). Oh - one more thing - Juliana used to be afraid to express anger! One day, we just... LITERALLY... gave her permission to be angry... that, like happiness and sadness, anger is an important emotion when EXPRESSED APPROPRIATELY. Telling her it was o.k. not to agree with us was like setting her free... we told her she could go in her room, and scream in a pillow if it made her feel better.... but respect was the bottom line, and to keep that in mind (LOL)... ~Kim P.

Your insight into what we may possibly face is very helpful as well as inspirational. I suspect you will get some emails from me in the future asking for advice.

... sometimes it is so difficult to condense a 3 year saga into a few paragraphs, and I know my posts get too long... forgive me! Do know that our adoption was a RELINQUISHMENT, vs. an abandonment. While abandonment paperwork is different, we also had to go through an investigation process, etc etc... paperwork just the same.. and just as tedious. Also.. even though the birth mom lived with Juli in a home in Panama City, the birth mom originally lived in another region.. where previous "family issues" had been handled by the courts there, so she fell under the umbrella of a previous investigation (the birth mom's father was jailed for beating her and neglect). Because Juli was BORN in P.City - we were able to have the case moved down there (thankfully). I'm curious if any of the agencies work with OTHER courts in OTHER provinces.... anyone know? I know of a few families who went to the court in La Chorrera to adopt...... there's supposedly orphanages there, too... and it's not very far from Panama City. :) ~Kim P.