Hello Newbie Mo Here

We are a foster/adopt family. We have been licensed for two years. Our hope was to adopt a little girl between the ages of 0-5. When we first got licensed we had so many calls for baby boys. I think we turned down around 12. Then we received a call about a baby girl, she born earlier that morning. Two days later my husband and boys picked her up from the agency. I was actually out of town on business. They fell in love from the start. The boys took care of her for three days until I arrived home from Chicago (this was the last business trip I have taken). Our fd is now over a year old. It has been a roller coaster ride. Not as much due to the bio parents but because of the state. Our fd has siblings also in the system. When we took the placement we were told that the cw planned on splitting up the sibling group and allowing the fp to adopt the children in their home. What we didnt realize was that many of the other people involved in the case wanted the children in one home. It was very stressful but in the end the split did happen. We spend a lot of time with the other foster parents and the siblings. Although the children will not grow up in the same house they will grow up knowing each other. Recently we went to court and they did tpr both parents. We still have one more battle to fight. The Grandmother wants the children. And although the state has turned her home study down she hired a lawyer to pursue adopting the children. We have a schedule court date after the first of the year to determine who will adopt. I would like to continue to foster children. My husband on the other hand wants to finish up with the adoption and be done with the state. I am really sad about it. I have always wanted to be a foster parent and have always wanted a bunch of children. But for him three is enough. I think it is different for me because I come from a large family. I am hoping that he will reconsider once the adoption is final. I guess at this point all I can do is pray.

I hope that all works out for you and your DH. I can understand your feelings and his. My DH and I went threw similar things before. Although we haven't no children he was just not to sure about fostering. Now we have both decided we just want children so bad it doesnt matter. Either way you all decide to go, you both have done a wonderful thing by giving her a decent and loving home. God bless u for that. Keep in touch. Jenn

LeighM...I'm sorry to hear about the problems you are having with the state. May I ask what county you are in? I have received advice from other members of this forum to foster through a private agency. They are said to be better support. I haven't had much luck finding a private agency that serves my area...Boone Co. Best of luck to your family. Robin

hi, babycheeks, We live in Eastern mo. & are foster/adoptive parents. We too were placed with a child that had several siblings in care & they were all in different foster homes d/t behavior & their needs. It took 2 1/2 years for tpr. I know how your husband feels about being done with DFS. Its funny how birth parents can hurt their children so easy & quickly, but for us- foster/adoptive parents it takes years to finalize the process to adopt the children we have come to love & protect. Any ime want to chat e-mail me directly- chotrow@jcn.net . To everyone in similiar situations - hang in there