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Originally Posted By naomihi, I am new to this website. I have (had) three children that I gave up for adoption six years ago. At a very hard time in my life I was told (by social workers) it was the best, most loving thing to do. After much resistance and a little time I began to believe that they could be right. At the time my children were 8, 6, and 3. I was told that if I (stayed the course) of the adoption they promised to keep the chldrn together and send them to a family that I could continue contact with them (chldrn). After all the cldrn had a strong relationship with me already. The point, my chldrn are together but I haven"t been allowed contact at all from the aparents, NONE. I suffer daily from this huge loss, regret my lack of knowlege about the adoption process. It took the agency years to admit to the OOPS! Instead of admitting to the family being closed, they always said give it time. SIX years and counting, hoping, praying and wishing the aparents could soften their hearts, if not for me but for my cldrn. Tarah, Andrew, and Mariah I love you and miss you dearly!! Hope for anything from you ASAP. Ineed support from other bmoms, thanks.
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Naomi.I'm not a birth mom but I adopted.I cant even to begin to say how sorry i am to hear about your children.I just cant understand how someone could be so heartless.With your oldest child reamembering you being at the age he is that it wont be much longer that he will contact you on his on.Dont give up hope.No matter that you gave your children up for what ever reason there still your blood and always be a part of you.I adopted a baby boy when he was 5 months old.I talk with his birth mom and vacation he went and stayed a week with her and his brother.He thinks she is his aunt for now.But its been good for me the birth mom and brother of child.I hope and pray that you hear from your children soon.Good-luck and god-bless
Originally Posted By naomiI live in southeastern Michigan. I've been to numerous lawyers and even talked to the childrens ombunsment org. The lawyers say that since I gave up my rights voluntarilly they could'nt help me. If I had my rights taken from me, then they might be able to help. That very backwards is'nt it. The childs Ombunsment org. also brought up that I gave up my rights but they did call the adoption agentcy who told them they were still working with me. The ombuns. org. told me that as long as the adopt. agency was working on this they could do nothing. It seems everybody is afraid of the possibility that the agency scwrewed up. After all bmothers are the screw ups not the wonderfull agencys or the (in some cases) the selfish narrow minded aparents.
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Originally Posted By GwenNaomi, I too am a aparent and would like to have contact with birth mom. She has requested no contact. I cannot understand people's thinking when without you, aparents wouldn't be so blessed. I am so grateful to my son's birth mom and wish one day soon, she will want to know about him. My son is 13 months.
Originally Posted By LizHi there, Im an amom. Your story is sad. I guess reading your story..the aparents are probably doing this in the best interest of the children. They probably want to bond with your children and find it difficult maybe to do this with you being involved at this time? Not sure what to say but good luck to you and Im sure they are all in good hands. Remember, when you give up your children you are saying that you just want a better home for them. What I dont understand is once bmoms place their children they want contact? Thank god our bmom is an angel for real. she never bothers us gives us our privacy and just emails us once every two months. When she does email she asks how we are all doing not just our son which is a great feeling. I wish you truly the best.
Originally Posted By HavenI don't wont any contact w. our birthmom. When I chose to adopt, I adopted to raise a child, not have this & that person's input. Remember, she gave up! As an adoptee, I don't want my birthmom around trying to be mommy now, no thanks! Adoption has changed too much.
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Originally Posted By Michelle VHaven, I hope one day I will get to meet the daughter I placed 9 yrs ago but only if her parents feel comfortable with it. I realize I "gave up" my rights to raise her but I didn't give up the love I have in my heart for her. I am sure your childs birthmom loves the child she placed with you too. If your child ever does want to search what will you tell him/her?I know it is up to each parent to do what they feel is in the best interest of their own child so I hope I won't harbor any resentment for the parents of that little girl if they don't want to find me. I can only hope they have enough respect for me as I have for them.You said you don't ever want to meet your own birthmom. Can I ask why not? Do you know the circumstances surrounding her relinquishment of you? I am sorry if I am being too personal, I just have questions in case my daughter never looks for me, I want to know why she wouldn't. I don't want her to feel bitterness towards me or believe that her parents have told her I didn't care about her...I just want to have the peace of knowing her parents brought her up to understand that adoption is out of love. Thanks for reading...sincerely, michelle v
Originally Posted By LottieMichelle, I have read several of your post and you sound like a lovely sweet person. We hope to adopt one day and I sure hope our birthmom is like you or bmom Jamie. I would be thrilled beyond words. I do hope and pray that you do get to meet and have a part in your child's life somewhere in the future. You are a wonderful person with a wonderful attitude toward the whole thing. One day your daughter will meet you and will see the love you have for her and know that you have always loved her. Just keep believing that!God bless you,Lottie
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Originally Posted By Michelle VOh Lottie, you don't know what those words mean to me. Thank you so much. I must be in a very sentimental mood tonight. I cried over a commercial earlier..lol.Not the sad kind of tears but the kind you get when you feel warm and fuzzy inside. I thank God for giving me another chance to be a mom and I am trying so hard to make Him proud. I think of my birthdaughter everyday as I watch my 16 month old grow. I just wish I knew her parents so I could smile when I think of her and say "yes, she is with a terrific family!"there i go babbling again..thanks for posting to me..Warmest wishes to you..michelle v