Considering adopting siblings...

Hi there, Welcome to the world of Panamanian adoption. As I'm sure you can tell by reading the archives, and other threads here- Panama adoptions are really very new. There are some lucky folks who have completed adoptions in the past, and they are providing valuable insight to all of us navigating through the process. Since we are in the midst of Panama adoption, I don't have any first hand knowledge to offer. But, we have been working on international adoption for two plus years now. (We did some country changing...) We are planning to adopt two at once as well, and have seriously questioned our sanity at times. We have heard mixed opinions on it, and finally decided to go with our heart. It makes sense for financial reasons, and we really think that adjustment issues may be lessened if the two kids can somehow have each other as a companion going through the same thing. Only time will tell I guess. As far as adopting siblings, this may not be a possibility. In our experience, it seems that it is more common to be offered two children who aren't bio siblings. That's not to say, it wouldn't be terrific if it happened, but I'd suggest being open to other possibilities if your heart is set on adopting two at once. Good luck, and keep us up to date on your progress. As you can see we are all information starved right now and it's a fun past time to live vicariously through others. :D Kirsten

I can only give you the perspective of someone who was placed in foster care with her sibling. In my case there were four daughters my oldest sister and I,and then two younger siblings. mY oldest sister and I were placed together and I can not imagine having had it any other way. I know for me as I got older....I was there from 18 months until October of third grade......I so valued having my sister.....I wonder since I was so young at the time that maybe just having a "sister",not bio but just someone to talk to would have been the same.I fortunately was placed with my sister. I think that when we were placed back in our bio moms home ( our foster/adoptive mom was critically ill and they felt she would be dying) it made our transition to that home easier because we had each other.. Our paper work was in to be adopted and then our foster mother got very sick,we were even using their name and everything! But,the courts at the time were adverse to leaving us with our foster dad and three brothers should anything happen.....So,we were replaced back home........My sister and I have a special bond because we were always together.....Anyway that's my two sense...I would not hesitate taking siblings it could mean the world to them and YOU!!!! :-) By the way my other siblings (incase your wondering) did stay in their adoptive homes and were adopted. One of which is on these boards looking for us! I found her posts!!! We have just not connected yet!!!:)

I have been the birthmother of two children they are now 19 and 20 and this year we have adopted a 5-year old girl and her 1-yr old brother.......I raise children two-by-two is seems. First of all let me tell you two children are NOT double the work! They are much more then that. Two children fight with each other and intereact with one another! So, the dynamics of one child are much different for the rest of the childrens lives....and yours. There are difficulties when going from none to 2 children and the first thing you need to consider is that there are many relationships being established at the same time...... So I recomend being sure that EACH parent have some moments each day (we use 15 mins) to interact one on one with each child alone.....and then be sure you make time for your spouse. Wit siblings there is no word I can use to tell you how awesome it is to see the bond they have with each other! Sometimes the bond between them is so strong I find myself almost envious. For example our baby would kiss and hug and cuddle with his big sister long before he would kiss me......and for a long time when he was hurt he would go to sissy for comfort and not to me.....so this was an emotionally difficult situation..... I just kept in mind that the only constant in his life was sissy. She however had her own issues of wanting to mother him......and telling me I did things wrong. But in many ways I liked that because she knew his needs and helped me meet them. The balance with two is harder to feel. Just when we think things are settling in with one of the children the other child shows issues and our focus is drawn there. It seems during the past 10-months since placement that everyday one or the other of the children has caused concern, behavior issues, or some other all consuming matter----and once in awhile they are both using up my energy. Siblings do take constant effort--but, I believe the bond they have is worth all the stress and gray hair..... I think it is the same as when I had two children a year apart.....constant and demanding but worth the pain....to see the love and it feels so good to make it possible for my children to grow up together. Good luck