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Hi
I agree there absolutely no choice for adoptees in being adopted.
There has been a lack of choice for some birth parents also.
There has been a lack of educated choice for other birthparents
There has been a lack of choice after some birthparents have made a seemingly educated choice (as in open adoption being closed for no apparent reason).
I also agree that none of us get to choose our family adopted or otherwise. If I had gotten to choose who my parents were they would have not been the ones I was born to - that is for sure.
It seems to be one big lucky dip - or ... unlucky dip as the case may be.
:-)
R
Originally posted by AMom2Two
Nobody gets a choice as to who their parents are, not bio children, not adopted children, unless you are an older child and then you can speak for yourself.
Kelvin....
Now I understand and agree with you. All adopted children have a right to search for their birthparents if they choose. No adoptive parent should stand in the way of their search if the child choose's to search. I do know that sometimes, when a child is young, adoptive parents prefer for them to reach a certain maturity so that they can handle the ups and down of searching. Not all reunions end positively and for some children, that blow could really hurt their self-esteem. Sometimes adoptive parents have to say "no" right now so that later they can say "yes". I've read posts here from adoptee's who were rejected by their birthfamilies and some thought of sucide. As an adoptive mother, this scares the daylights out of any of us. We want to protect our children and make sure they can handle whatever the search reveals.
I am in an open adoption with both of my daughter's birthparents. She will grow up knowing them and spending time with them. I choose to not take away her biological connection. I had a choice, she doesn't.
Good luck to you! Bye
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