Bio. Children and adopted child

Originally Posted By susan mWe had 1 bio son at home at the time of our first adoption of bio brothers ages 3 and 8. We included our son in the adoption process, did a lot of praying, and made sure he had some one on one time when needed. The result?---a successful blending of our family and still the brothers are pretty close. That was 13 yrs ago. We've since added two more sons by adoption--they are now 3 and 8. Good luck

Originally Posted By CindiDear MD:Your biggest concern is well-founded. One positive thought is that this child will be your middle child and your birth sons will maintain their birth positions as the eldest and the youngest! However, there are other concerns that you might want to be aware of connected with the possible placement of this 9 year olds...what is her emotional and behavioral history and abuse background?As an experienced, treatment adoptive parent of 25 children and two birth daughters, I can safely say that whenever you introduce any new child in your family there will always be issues. Whether those issues are workable within your family setting depends greatly on the education and support you receive from the placing agency and other experienced adoptive families. Adoption is truly a commitment! My first question would be, "how many placements has this little girl had prior to being placed with you? and, has she been sexually abused? (I'd be shocked if she hadn't) Additonally, will you be receiving a medical card and an adoption subsidy to help defray the costs that you will incur over the years. She is a special needs child just by virtue of her age! The last two adoptions our family has had were girls ages 9 and 12. Both of these girls were adopted individually by well-intentioned families who each had three bio sons and desperately wanted a daughter. The families were not prepared for the consequences of parenting a tramatized, child of the opposite sex who generated anything but thankfulness that she had been adopted! I would suggest that you review all the information available, be realistic that "love does NOT cure everything", and then proceed with caution. Should you wish to contact me directly, my e-mail address is PenningtonC@yahoo.com God Bless your efforts on behalf of this waiting child!

Originally Posted By TerryYes, each child does find there place.Our daughter was 6 1/2 years old when her baby bro. came home. She had been the baby for that long.Then we adopted another son 3 yrs. later. Everyone settles into there new role. We also have a 16 and 19 yr.old.You will need to prepare them well. Talk alot about what they can expect. Ex. You may not be as available to play a board game like you have been doing. You will probably be going shopping with your daughter and leave the boys behind. The more prepared they are the better they will handle things when they occur.Talk about how the family structure will change. Now mom will have a female companion. It will be different than parenting your sons. After 3 dau. the boys are a new world. Along with the love you have for them that will never change. The boys will have another partner to play catch, to shoot baskets, to teach new things and learn new things.

Originally Posted By annalouiseWE HAVE ADOPTED 1 LITTLE GIRL AND WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF ADOPTING OUR 2ND. THIS ONE IS A BOY. WE HAVE 3 GIRLS(BIOLOGICAL). AGES 16-13-11. WHAT A JOY WHEN OUR 9 MONTH OLD CAME TO US. THEN A NEWBORN IN JULY OF 2001. THE GIRL IS NOW 3 YEARS OLD. MY SUGGESTION IS IF YOU are going to adopt try and stay under the age of your bio children. we are foster/adopt parents. It is a wonderful thing! my girls want to know when we are getting another baby!

Originally Posted By Dad of 4My wife and I have two biological sons, ages 9 and 6. We just adopted a sibling group of a boy, 6 and his sister 3. The adoption became official on Monday! My wife and I are sooooo surprised at how easily they 4 children have blended. There was a bit of jealousy at first between my oldest and the new boy because the new boy bonded to me quickly and was very needy of my attention. Things have smoothed out well. Not once have we had a problem of real kid vs. adopted kid!

Originally Posted By a momWe have a similair situation and the outcome has been nothing but positive. All our children get along well and are brothers and sisters. Little ones don't know blood only love!

Originally Posted By sallyjWe adopted our 1st child 8 years ago, he's now 11. We were unable to have bio-children. Now, I have had custody of another child that is 5 (for 2 years) , and hopefully, adoption will be the next step with him. Both of my them are doing great, but believe me there's some adjusting to take place. The bio-children will be jealous just as they would if you would have had another bio-child. The adopted child will feel since she is not your bio-child that somehow you don't love her as much. So, that's all to be expected. One other thought, you are also bringing in a child that will be the elder child, and may at some point be a little strange for your middle child. She may be able to do things that your middle child felt that she should be able to do first. So, again there's some adjustment. But, wait until they start all coming together AND THEY WILL - it'll be the most rewarding feeling that you'll ever had. Your that child's guardian angel, and they'll always be something special between you & that child that you wont be able to express. You just look at her and will feel a heartful of joy. Believe me, I do with both of these children. The feelings sometimes are overwhelmingly.Things will work out fine, and God bless you......