Advertisements
Advertisements
I have my fee for the agency we've chosen and I didn't or couldn't mail it :rolleyes:
I am still stuck on how much it costs to adopt an AA baby.
This will be our third adoption and the first two didn't cost a 1/3 of the agency's required fee. It seems that every since the law has allowed a $10,000 tax credit, everyone (facilitators, agencies and lawyers) have increased their prices astronomically.
I found a good reputable agency, but I am agonzing over the fee, why so much? Please no need to respond just venting.
We are a military family stationed overseas our base alone has 26,000+ military and family members. Potential situations comes up all the time, so DH and I have decided to:
1. Socialize our intent to adopt for 6- 11 months and if nothing we can go back to the agency route & our homestudy will still be current. Perhaps wait and foster-adopt when we return to the states.
2. Still go ahead with the homestudy, just in case the birthmother's state requires it.
3. I have already sent emails and talked to long time friends and family back in the states.
4. I spoke to one doctor (OB/GYN). I coached her daughter (whom she adopted) and my sons' soccer team. She told me she get situations all the time and it is possible.
5. My next stop is the chaplins and another doctor (OB/GYN) I know to get the word out.
6. I put a call into a reccommended adoption lawyer. He was out but left a message on his voice mail. I want to see if he could represent us when we find a match.
Oh, Lastly, I took the agency fee and transferred it to another account for at a later date for lawyer and transportation expenses.
Has any one gone the independent adoption route? Oh , any ideas on those parent profiles websites, do they find matches ? Will an expectant mother choose an adoptive parent more readily if they are not attached to an agency or facilitator ? I can take the negative as well as the positive.
Yasta
Still feeling frustrated, but willingly to wait a little longer. :)
Like
Share
Originally posted by yasta
I have my fee for the agency we've chosen and I didn't or couldn't mail it :rolleyes:
I am still stuck on how much it costs to adopt an AA baby.
I found a good reputable agency, but I am agonzing over the fee, why so much? Please no need to respond just venting.
Yasta, I know that there are agencies that charge different fees for AA verses Caucasion babies, but why should that make a difference? Do AA mothers need less counseling to make a decision? Are the services defferent? And if they are...why???? AA babies deserve the adults involved to get all the services they need to make an informed decision. If the agency you are working with is reputable then you are paying for services, not for a child. The services to the parents and prospective adoptive parents should be no different regardless of the child's skin color.
I am sorry. I needed to respond to this.
Like
Share
Advertisements
I have to agree with both statements ... what exactly costs so much?? And when does skin color factor in on those costs?
I know when I first started my search for parents for this child, I was completely appalled at the overall cost to the new family. And the even uglier truth, because this child is full Caucasian, I could about see the social worker drool with excitement at us writing an adoption plan. It was enough for me to walk away from the agency and seek a different route for making my connection.
But, the fact remains, AA children are less "desired" then their lighter counterparts. My dearest friend, who has adopted three AA children, points out, that had they not been determined to adopt AA children - they wouldn't have been able to afford to adopt at all. Terrible statements from a nation you would hope has gotten much further in our thinkings on race.
If I can be any ray of hope, I located our adoptive parents via the web, and was bound and determined that this family did not need to go into the poor house just to start their family. We had numerous meetings and set the terms we were comfortable with prior to selecting an agency to handle the paperwork end of it. Which a good majority of the leg work completed, the agency fee was pennies compared to the cost had they signed up with the agency to do the connection.
I do have the name of an excellent adoption attorney (I am in Illinois) if you like I can send you her web address. I am sure that there are many more people out there that are committed to helping you, and the birth family make this the experience it is meant to be - without it being focused on cost.
There are things worth the wait :)
Best to you.
Wingless
Like
Share
Originally posted by bromanchik
Yasta, I know that there are agencies that charge different fees for AA verses Caucasion babies, but why should that make a difference? Do AA mothers need less counseling to make a decision? Are the services defferent? And if they are...why???? AA babies deserve the adults involved to get all the services they need to make an informed decision. If the agency you are working with is reputable then you are paying for services, not for a child. The services to the parents and prospective adoptive parents should be no different regardless of the child's skin color.
I am sorry. I needed to respond to this.
I do not want to get into a"shouting match" over this but let's call it as it is. It's is about supply and demand. CC are preferred, costs more and AA (black, I hate AA) are less desirable especially boys. Or let me dance around it " hard to place ".
A hispanic/white or hispanic/black "adoption costs" if you want to hide the word "buying a baby"are above a black infant.
It shouldn't matter if the baby is white or black or mixed, but IT does to most (not all) agencies and facilitators. I am happy when CC or either race adopt a black infant, why ? it is one less child in foster care and will have a chance at a descent life.
By the way I am black as is my DH and our two sons.
I am just tired of all this baby business. It is my desire to locate a birthmother who decides not to parent and cut out the middle person . The money part really sickens me because it doesn't aid the mother to get back on her feet or go towards college education or anything to assist her.
Agencies are great , for the simple reason they will give counselling to the mother before and after which is necessary to assure she is making a sound decision.
So do not get on me or twist this around about the cost of black babies or whether the mothers need counselling, of course they do, by all means. But the fact is which I detest is due to the need for more parents for babies why the high costs!! I would be more upset if I was white , because their prices are out the roof!!
Oh by the way I have live outside the U.S. for some time (going back 3-4 times a year). Adoption costs for infants are very low no matter what color. When I say low $700 - $800 for administrative fees. That's it no more. DH and I rather adopt from the U.S, because we want and american black infant daughter.
I dislike the business, where is the love and help for the mother and child.
Yasta
Still determine , but thanks for your input.
Like
Share
Originally posted by yasta
I am just tired of all this baby business. It is my desire to locate a birthmother who decides not to parent and cut out the middle person . The money part really sickens me because it doesn't aid the mother to get back on her feet or go towards college education or anything to assist her.
Agencies are great , for the simple reason they will give counselling to the mother before and after which is necessary to assure she is making a sound decision.
The good one's also educate the adoptive parent's. They provide resources both pre and post adoption. And this does cost money. Agencies should be giving you a break down of their fees and why they charge what they do. They should not exceed the fees that therapists charge for their services.
I also do not like most agencies. I only know of two facilitators in the whole country I would ever send someone to. And only a handful of lawyers. You are right about it becoming big business. It sickens me too.
There are actually a couple of programs that are designed to make it easier for black prospective adoptive parents to adopt. I hesitate to use names because I have gotten in trouble for doing that in the past. Could you e-mail me? My address is brenr@openadoptioninsight.org
Like
Share
Yasta,
We adopted our daughter independently, through our OBGYN, trust me word of mouth works, we are living proof of it. My mother works at a local hospital and she literally told every one employeed or associated with the hospital of our desire to adopt.
We also had our profiles linked with two Internet Websites. We had contact from several birthmothers and loads of birthmothers after our daughter was born (figures, LOL)!
Please don't even let me start about the costs to adopt in association with "color".... I thought we were all equal.
Yasta, Good Luck my thoughts and prayers are with you.
My only advise about the Interent, proceed with caution in each and every contact you make there are scammers out there on both sides of the adoption.
Like
Share
Advertisements