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hello, my name is Stacey. I recently just found out that i am pregnant. I am 11 weeks. About 1 week ago i was going to go through an abortion. I went to the agency to get an ultra sound to determine how far along i was. The first moment that i saw "my" baby for the first time, I knew right then and there that i couldnt go through with the abortion. Plus i wanted to give it life. Now im going through what do i do with it?? i was talkin to my aunt ( cause i live with my aunt and uncle) and she was considering adopting it. But there is soo much to think of i cant even imagine.. I was also thinging bout open adoption. Im just really confused. We made a miracle.. Now all i want to do is make sure that my baby has a good life. But i dont no how to make that possible.I would love to keep my baby. But i know right now there would be no possible way for it to ahve a decent life. So thats why In a way my aunt adopting it would be a good answer. Plus i would have the priviledge to be able to only see the child as it grows up.. But i no until it was ready to understand, then it would no that i am the birth mother. That would only come in time. Then theres a problem with that. When i see the child i would want it to call me mommy. I would want to basically do all the motherly things with it. But i know i would only be able to be a "special friend". Now on the other hand with the open adoption i would be able to see pictures of the child. Maybe keep i n touch to an extent. i think that would be good in its own way because then i wouldnt have to worry bout he problems that might occur with in-family adoption..But then i mite not have any physical contact with the child at all. So i really dont know what to do. I obviously no that you guys cant make my mind for me. But i would love all the help and opinions i could possibly recieve.
thank you Stacey
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Stacey,
It sounds like you have some tough choices to make. I like the one you made so far, to give your baby life. It sounds like you are thinking things through. You have a long time to make those decisions. Talking to a counselor would be a good idea. I don't know what is available in your area but you might start with a local church or pregnancy care center. Take good care of yourself for you and your baby. You will have my prayers.
God Bless You, Denise
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hello it looks like you have alot to figure out i just thought you should know if you were to choose to give the baby to a open adoption you choose the time you want with the baby if you were to tell the agency i want this many vists and in between that i want this many letters than they try to find adoptive family that agrees to your wishes and just dont settle for any thing less than you want hope this help you
I was 11 weeks pregnant when i ahd my abortion and luckyly they didn't show me the ultrasound screen.
As for letting your aunt adopt the baby - you may well find it tough seeing the baby grow up but not be able to tell it your its mum, is there no way you can keep the baby yourself? what does the Dad think about it all?
I am glad you did not go through with the abortion for whatever reasons.Sometimes God works in mysterious ways.God has a plan for your little precious one and if you pray I am sure deep in your heart you will decide the right thing to do.I am a hopeful adoptive parent and I know that the greatest gift a biological mom can give is the gift of life.A child can bring so much love, joy, and happiness to a family.Just make sure that before you make any decisions think about what you could offer that little one.Sometimes I feel that single moms don't give themselves enough credit you can do this but its something you have to want.I understand you want the best for your little one,just be honest with yourself.I feel you already have an attatchment to this little gift--you could not go through with the abortion.Adoption is a choice in which you would have to be able to live with for the rest of your life.I would imagine its not an easy decision.Adoption for me would be a wonderful experience,but of course I am not the one giving my child up-I only know from the other side and that is there are so many people like myself who could offer so much love to a little one.But first and foremost I feel you must be sure and look at all your options because you never want to regret letting your little one go.I wish for you and your little one God's Blessings.In the end whatever decision you decide know that it is the one you can live with.
Would your aunt and uncle be willing to help you out, until you got on your feet? I mean, why would they need to adopt the baby for it to have a good life? Why forever change the relationship between you and your baby just because it's here a little bit earlier than you wanted?
I think that you should ask your aunt and uncle if they will help their niece's child, even if it's not legally theirs. Who knows? It might only take you a few years to get on your feet! They get to take care of the baby, and you still get to be a mommy! I really hope that situation would work out for you. That would be ideal.
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Originally posted by allabouthorses
Would your aunt and uncle be willing to help you out, until you got on your feet? I mean, why would they need to adopt the baby for it to have a good life? Why forever change the relationship between you and your baby just because it's here a little bit earlier than you wanted?
I think that you should ask your aunt and uncle if they will help their niece's child, even if it's not legally theirs. Who knows? It might only take you a few years to get on your feet! They get to take care of the baby, and you still get to be a mommy! I really hope that situation would work out for you. That would be ideal.
Missy M,
Thanks so much for the compliment! :)
I probably would not have suggested this were it not for the fact that this girl's aunt and uncle had mentioned adopting the baby. That to me says that they are willing and able to raise this child.
I certainly wouldn't want Stacey to place a burden on any family members, because that would only cause resentment, and would negatively effect her relationship with her family. But, if they really want to help her and her child, they could do that without adopting the baby. Of course, it would only be ideal if everyone felt comfortable and happy with the situation. JMHO...
well that's cool you didn't have abortion. me and my classmates were talking about abortion and me being adopted and all i thought about WHAT IF. my b mom had closed adoption i will not be able to MAYBE find out who she is until i'm 18. ok that sucks a lot,but yeah i really want to no... ummm... as for your aunt and uncle it depends on what they are like and if they are comfertable with the whole idea of you being the bmom...k like my parents i no this in my heart when i turn 18 they would help me 100% to find my bmom b/c they are like that, but like some parents are like.... different. they do not respect kids feelings or adoptees... i'm sure your aware of all of this, but what ever you do... just remember anythings possibles... later