1st post here, have a few questions!

January 20, 2004

Hi all,

This is my very first post at the LDS adoptions forum. I'll post a little history about myself and my family before I ask some questions.

We are an active LDS family. I am 29 years old, my DH is 37, and we've been married for 10 years. My DH is a business professional as a commercial realtor, and I am a SAHM. We own our own home and are debt free, except for the house mortgage. We are the parents to three daughters born to us, currently ages 8.5 yr, 4.5 yr and 9.5 months. After the 1st and 2nd daughters were born, we experienced secondary infertility. During my last two pregnancies, I experienced some complications towards the end, particularly with my last. Right now, we are not sure if we are done "trying" to have more kids of our own. I don't know that I can handle ttc again, nor do I want to experience complications like I did before. So at this point we are having mixed feelings on the subject and I keep coming back to adoption, which has brought me to this point.

The idea of adoption really intrigues me, and my DH seems fairly open to it as well. I love to hear about others adoption stories, and have experienced watching adoptions in our extended families. Off and on for the past several months, I've been scanning the internet, just looking at the faces of so many children. It is a bit overwhelming! At this point, we're really looking (someday) to adopt a boy. I grew up in a family with only daughters, and now that I have only daughters, I would love to find out what a boy is all about. (does that sound corny or what? :D) I'd love for my girls to have a brother and get that element into our family. We've tossed around so many different scenarios, taking into consideration the ages of our girls, what would be the best age to adopt, what kind of problems could we handle with the child, how would it affect the dynamics of our family and the "birth order" of our girls, etc. I know there are so many other steps to take before we actually get that serious, but I have to consider these things as we look into adoption.

Now for my questions:

1) As an LDS family, is it best to go straight to LDS FS to look into adoption?

2) Is it best to try fostering first? And then, perhaps adopt the fostered child if the chance comes up?

4) Does the LDS FS have a network throughout the country to find the right parent/adoptive child match?

5) Do you get a homestudy done through LDS FS or another agency? How much does it cost with them as opposed to a non-church angency?

6) What about LDS international adoption?

I'm sure there are other questions, but those are the main ones I have right now. I sure would appreciate some advice on this and would love to hear any and all responses.

Thank you!:)

ladybuglady

January 21, 2004

Hi!

Welcome to the forum! Here are my thougths on your questions....

1) As an LDS family, is it best to go straight to LDS FS to look into adoption? This is just up to you, however currently through LDS FS, I beleive you would have to say that you are interested in a special needs child because for an infant I think you cannot have more than 2 children. However, once you are done with the process and your profile is up on the web, if a bmom chooses you, then you could switch to a designated adoption adn the 2 child limit would not matter. I would suggest goiing to itsaboutlove.org and just surf around and look at what the site has to offer for bmoms and adoptive families. It will give you an idea and inform you about the terminology that is used.

2) Is it best to try fostering first? And then, perhaps adopt the fostered child if the chance comes up? This is just an option up to you. Just pray about it and see what the Lord says. Not all Foster children end up getting adopted, so you have to be able to give them back. I bleieve LDS FS also offers a foster program because on my adoption forms, some of them said foster or adopt.

3) How expensive is a domestic adoption for a young child (in our case, would prefer a boy ages 2-6 right now with the ages of our girls considered)...and is an adoption such as this actually done through LDS FS? Adoption through LDS FS is 10% of your last year's income with a minimum of $4K and a max of $10K. In some cases, older children do fall under the term "special needs" and in some cases, the fees are less. Generally you pay the initial $1k at the time that you turn in all your paperwork and the balance is due when you are placed. LDS FS does do older children adoptions, it is just not as common as infant, but they do it. A friend of mine adopted a 6 year old girl.

4) Does the LDS FS have a network throughout the country to find the right parent/adoptive child match? Yes, I believe they mainly work on a regional type basis but with the profiles on the internet, all families are available for everyone to see.

5) Do you get a homestudy done through LDS FS or another agency? How much does it cost with them as opposed to a non-church angency? Yes, LDS FS does the homestudy as part of the process, it is included in your lump sum costs. I do not know how much other agencies cost.

6) What about LDS international adoption? International adoption is closed right now through FS.

Well, I hope that answers your questions, feel free to ask more. There is also a great support group on hopetoadopt.com that is almost all LDS. You can also "advertise" on places like hopetoadopt's banner pages and get your information out there a little more and the cost varies between sites.

Good luck!

LBL:)