looking for my bio- mom

Just start a new post with a title.....Need Search Guru's Advice or something like that. Put all the info that you have about yourself into the post, and maybe they can be of some help to you!!!! Staci :D

Go to your search engine and type in [url]www.Ancestry.com.....it[/url] should take you to the site, and then you can go from there. It's easy! You type in the last name you are looking for, plus a state, and BAM....there you have it! I will keep my eyes peeled for more sites that could help you! Hugs, Sally

There is a Gloria Guena who is 76.....could she possibly be a grandmother? There are also a Wendy and Robert Guena who are 46 and 47 respectively....... Not exactly Puerto Rican sounding names, but who knows? There is a Casey X. Guena who has no age listed...... There was a Lionel Guend..........

I think this is a very important subject that wasnt thought about during the adoption process...there should have atleast been papers that went with child saying your parents were and your ggparents came from even though a name is needed to trace the BLOOD. I do not have the answer but I wanted to provide my child with the knowledge of roots so when one day her or her children if she had any...would find! I recently started a geneology at myfamily.com and I put my Michelle as child and noted adopted name unknown. Praise GOD I now know her adopted name...and she can also know both her linage...She has not asked about her father yet?

Funny thing is that those where the names that I had when I was still in New York. I just am scared to call again, cause from what I found last night on the white pages, listings for New York they are still the same numbers as well. I just don't want to look stupid again. I don't know, you know. They did not call me back seven years ago, maybe for a reason. I don't know, the deeper one gets the more scared. I am going to make my husband call :-)

Just an idea, but do you have street addresses associated with these folks? Most "experts" advise that writting a letter is the best way to handle this type of contact, and I completely agree. Receiving a letter allows the person time to gather their thoughts and to absorb the situation, rather than having to be articulate, on the phone. I would write to them....say something along the lines of.... Dear Mrs. Guena, My name is Sacha Ford and I came across your name while I was conducting some geneaological research surrounding the surname "Guena". It is my hope that in speaking to you, I could perhaps complete a segment of my research and locate a part of my heritage. Please contact me at your earliest convenience via the avenues listed below. Thank you for your time, Sacha Ford Then, list any of the ways you are comfortable receiving contact from these folks.....street address, e-mail, phone, etc. This gives the recipient some time to consider contact, if they have some idea of who you are and why you might be searching. It isn't threatening.....it's very "tame", actually. PLUS, you don't have to get up the nerve to call!!! Hugs, Sally

That is so true and great for both ends, to give time in between. I am going to try that and see what happens I am not much for words ever so I will do your format that you sent, if you don't mind?!:)

Please, by all means -- use whatever you wish! If I can be of any more help to you, just ask....words are never something I am short of! LOL Hugs, Sally

:p T hank you

smohammed wrote..they are still the same numbers as well. I just don't want to look stupid again. I bet a lot of us do not have a sense of 'entitlement' here.. (I have enjoyed reading the other thread on this word) I know when I was looking for my son I kept thinking I have no right to look for him. I had to go to the very people that handled the adoption.. They intimidated me back then I had to work very hard at making sure they did not do it again.. I sent a letter asking for information and did not get a reply. I gave up for a year.. Finally I got my sense of 'entitlement' :) and I wrote a much stronger letter telling them I wanted my information. I made sure I sent a letter that gave a return message that they had received it.. Then I phoned the agency.. That information was very important.. I was able to tell my bson about his adoptive parents from that information. Information I would not have had other than what was in the non identifying info.. You have an absolute human right to know your roots. Jackie.. The other saying that I learned in Alanon was.. Pray to Allah but be sure to tie your camel... :)

I see what you are saying and I feel mixed up inside right now. I called my adopted parents (last night) yesterday for the first time to talk about my bmother and bgrandfather and what information they know or have. Well, I first started talking to my adopted father because he would be more come than my mother would and asked him if they still had my original birth certificate with my original info on it. He told me they had lost it years ago. He asked me why the sudden interest?! I said well, for a while now I have been wondering where I came from, who's eyes I have, who do I really look like, act like, and he responded with he understands but living in the past is not going to help me at all. I have family now of my own and that is what counts from here on. The past can hurt me. He told me to move on. I was a little disappointed responding with asking more questions, like what happen to my bgrandfather, why did I not go with him if he was family? Why did they after being taken away from my bmother let him visit? I do not understand that part, like I was not good enough to live with him or any other family member but I was good enough to be taken away and live with strangers. I do not get it. I am still a little disappointed since last night and I cannot do anything about it but cry and feel this pain and confusion inside. My adopted mother of course was listening to the whole conversation that my father and I was having and finally when she got on the phone I had to explain myself. She asked my why I wanted to know about someone who left me, did nothing for me. When I need someone in my life, needed help where they were. Why????? Because I need closer, I told here. I can't just read half of the book and know the ending. ". You know (anyone who is out there listening) I feel deep down inside that she is dead. As for my bgrandfather, him also. He was too old at the time. I was only 2-5 at that time and I am now 25. I asked about my bfather and my adopted mother told me that per my bgrandfather, he split. He did show a picture to my adopted parents with my bfather and my bmother ounce. So at least I know it was not a one-night stand. I have to tell it like it is man. I am too frustrated about all this. I have known since I was 11 and left their home when I was 12. I guess you can say I was trouble. Nevertheless, the only good thing that came out of that 2-hour conversation was that I apologized for the first time ever to them for the heartache that I may have caused them when disappearing at such a young age. For the first time I felt pain and free at the same time. Mix and in-between my adopted parent thinking I do not love them because I am asking for the first time direct questions about my bfamily. The dark secret that has haunted my adopted parents and me. Funny thing, at the end of it all, my adopted mom said she would help me if I want to know what happen, where they are. I did not respond to that but I do want her help. I just do not want to cause them pain or make them sad. They (adopted parents) knew some things but not much. As she partied so hard, she gave my bgrandfather a heart attack. She partied and left me with people. she left me most of the time with my bgrandfather's wife ( not my bgrandmother) and when it came down to it they moved to Puerto rico and my bmother did not want to go and leave new York. She disappeared and my bgrandfathers's wife did not know what to do with me, so she took me to the state. She did not get me; she did not come and find me. What is messed up also when they were going to court my bgrandfather came from Puerto Rico to represent the family, what about me. REPRESENT, PLEASE!!!!! I know that I cannot always believe what is said, but I do not know anymore. I figured I would ask them first, find out some things and go from there. I don't even know whose last name is pelaty?! Never do them. Where do I go from here??????:confused:

Sacha....I do believe you are on the right track asking your aparents, and PLEASE do not feel guilt!!!!! They should answer your questions willing, without feeling you are rejecting them.....YOU ARE NOT!!! You are only curious about your genes....hopefully they will understand, and offer you complete support. My heart goes out to you.....searching can be long and hard, but can be done succesfully!!!! I truly hope for you that some how, some way you can find the answers you are looking for.....My thoughts and Prayers are with you!!!! ;) Staci :D

smohammed wrote..I figured I would ask them first, find out some things and go from there. It sounds like you made some progress.. Stick to your guns.. I say.. Get your amom to help.. Jackie