Any Ideas About What To Write In A Personal Letter to Birthparents!!!!!?????

You certainly aren't alone in that anxiety, DearHeart!!! I can't count the number of times I have read your same "post" written by so many others here at the forum!!! It is a mind-blowing concept to know that the words you write will be held in the hands of your birthmother/birthparent -- believe me, I know from personal experience! :D If you think that's mind-blowing, wait until you tuck that letter in an envelope and shove it in the mail slot!! :D Once that is done, you know there will be no more writing and re-writing....no more agonizing over right or wrong words to use! It's done -- it's gone!!! The writing and the sending of the first contact letter is, without a doubt, one of the most daunting tasks you will ever undertake in your life -- but it can also be one of the most rewarding, if you allow it to be. There are all manner of "guidelines" out there which will tell you what you should and shouldn't say -- how much is too much, and how much is not enough. Personally, I am not one for being limited by guidelines and rules -- especially in regard to something so incredibly personal. My best advice to you is to speak from your heart. If you do that, you can never fail, because you will be true to yourself. You will never have the regret of not saying exactly what you wanted to say. If you speak to your birthmom from your heart, she will know it. I have no idea if you are a praying person or not, but if you are, pray about it. That is what finally worked for me. I am a writer, so words have never been an issue for me....I just asked God to guide me and to open my heart. I've written two of those letters in the last year....one to my birth aunt and one to my birthmother, whom I knew was not open to contact. The letter I wrote to my aunt was over 10 pages long and she said it was the most amazing and touching thing she had ever read. The letter I wrote to my birthmom, of course, went unanswered, because she isn't emotionally capable of accepting contact with me, but I can tell you that I said every single thing I ever wanted to say to her. When I was finished, and I sent it, I felt a peace like no other in my life. I knew that was my one and only chance to ever say what I wanted to.....my only chance for her to have a glimpse of what her daughter turned out to be....and I made it worth it. In short, follow your heart....write from your heart....and you can't go wrong!!! Keep us posted, okay??? Best of luck....and if you want to run your letter past someone, I would be happy to help you! I have helped with a lot of letters over the last year, and I would be honored to help you with yours! Hugs, Sally

Thanks for your encouragement and kind words. I will make sure to keep everyone posted on the progress of my search.

Hey, KY Girl: I placed my daughter for adoption in Kentucky in 1982. I have checked every year (twice a year at times) with DSS -- not that my social worker could give me any information -- I think it just comforted me hearing her say everything was okay as far as she knew. Well, she turned 21 last November. I, too, sent in a consent form giving DSS permission to hand over all of my information, including the letters I have sent over the years. I pray daily she will find me. I don't care what she says or how she says it -- I just want to know she is okay. At one time, I thought seriously about hiring a company to locate her but deep down I feel she is the one who needs to make that call. I pray she does and I pray that you find an awesome family you never knew you had. Take care.