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I just got off the phone with my caseworker, called her at home. I called to see if she'd received a copy of my doctor's medical license yet and then we got to chatting about Panamanian adoption in general. Now, we have a pretty good rapport and seem to talk much more informally and honestly like buddies instead of official interaction between agency and client. So, nothing I'm about to share was said as official business...so form your own impressions and take this with a grain of salt. Maybe I'm sharing stuff I shouldn't share, but I think and feel too much to keep it to myself.
My caseworker didn't know much about Panamanian adoption when she took on our case, because another lady had been handling their current caseload. So "C" is learning this as a trial by fire. I really feel sorry for her and all the agencies who managed to set up camp in Panama.
My CW said to me, "Robin, I am shaking in my boots here." And that she now understands why the agency is so reluctant to take on new Panama-adoption cases.
She said of all the countries they handle adoptions for, Panama is the only one who gives out referrals that you just cannot set your hopes on, and she just doesn't understand why they do that. She said they do not start any processing of that child until the potential parent expresses interest in him/her, so that the end result is the child may not be adoptable or may be given to someone else (especially a Panamanian).
I commented that Panama seems to be working adoptions backwards and she agreed. With all that so many of us have already endured (fertility treatment, losses, etc), it makes no sense to her for us get our hopes on a particular child (via video or photos) and then wait while Panama takes its time to decide if we can actually have this child. She is baffled on how and why Panama does the things they do.
I said it sounds like some folks in the "system" in Panama are quietly waiting on a bribe or something. Panama is well-known for having this kind of reputation (among other countries) in the past. And she said it does seem like that at times. In order to get things done, ya gotta pay somebody a lil something or pull favors with people you know kinda thing. "C" said she just doesn't understand the politics involved with Panama adoptions.
In fact, she came right out and told me that we could get a Latino infant much faster from another country, and with A LOT less trouble. I got the distinct impression that she was encouraging us to switch or trying to tell me I was crazy for picking Panama...or at least make sure we were sure this is what we wanted. She said she just had to make sure that we were comfortable with all the risks and unexpected possiblities Panama is throwing at international families. I assured her we're staying the course. But I did add that I think Panama is not ready to do Int'l adoptions because their process is so screwy, and she agreed.
We didn't choose Panama out of a list of other countries. We had to find an agency that did Panama adoption. It's a Panamanian child or none at all, for us.
We laughed a lot and it was apparent we feel sorry for each other. I feel sorry for her as a caseworker and for our agency as an agency stuck with whatever Panama throws at them. She feels sorry for us as a family who is at the mercy of the Panamanian system, and there's not a whole lot the agency can do. Like we're stuck in this together. I kinda got the impression that our agency regrets having anything to do with Panama.
Now we've seen firsthand what Lauri, Rebecca, and Tanya have gone through. It doesn't seem to matter what agency you're with or whether you're going at it independently. It doesn't matter that our agency is subsidizing a particular orphange. And quite frankly, I was told that everyone knows someone in Panama and it really doesn't seem likely to help, if you have inside contacts or visit the orphange directly, so on and so forth.
Panama is gonna do what they're gonna do and we're all left scratching our heads, whether we're families or agencies or even attorneys. "C" said they really hope the new president helps improve the adoption process.
I guess it comforts me a bit that even my own caseworker and agency is confused and frustrated. We're sticking with Panama because of our heritage. But we sure don't like how they do things down there.
I wish I had some happy news to report, but I thought y'all might like to hear bits of our conversation. Tanya, Lauri, Rebecca, Ydh, Adamas, Jane, Joan, Julie, Tammy (everyone!!) you're not alone. Even the agencies are pulling out their hair. I'm sure it's no different with the attorneys.
So, I hope we all stick together and continue sharing our updates and giving each other much needed emotional support. And I hope we can laugh at it all in spite of how upsetting and S-L-O-W our adoptions go.
We are pioneers, for better or worse. Seems Panama lends itself nicely to stubborn folks willing to withstand the wild jungle, the impassable isthmus, the wily politics. After all, the canal was a marvelouos feat of engineering that no one thought could be done. I guess so shall the adoption process be when all is said and done!! :)
Much love to my fellow adoptive families.
Group hug!
Robin
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Ok, as a funny aside....
I just called Derek's dad. I was laughing and teasing him because of all the trouble seeming to come out of Panamanian adoptions. I asked him outright WHY WHY WHY did he have to come from Panama...why couldn't he be from some other Latin country where adoption was smoother. I was ONLY joking and never in a million years meant anything derogatory by my question. The family always chuckles at how things work down there.
He didn't seem to be in a great mood to begin with so the razzing bombed (now I feel like maybe I was wrong in joking like that), but he did keep encouraging me to not get uptight. To keep praying. To hang in there. He said maybe being on a support board wasn't really such a good idea because things might go much easier for someone else and we're just hearing about the bad stuff.
I guess he thought I needed comforting. I don't yet, I mean our dossier isn't quite finished. Maybe in 4-6 months I'll be a total basket case fretting and fuming and impatient.
Now, I'm still finding humor and still sure this is what we want to do.
My Panamanian family is praying for all of us, that things get better and go smoothly. It's nice to know some folks in Panama are on our side, when it seems the "system" isn't. Hope that gives some comfort to anyone here who needs it.
Robin
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Robin wrote:
"My caseworker didn't know much about Panamanian adoption when she took on our case, because another lady had been handling their current caseload. So "C" is learning this as a trial by fire. I really feel sorry for her and all the agencies who managed to set up camp in Panama.
My CW said to me, "Robin, I am shaking in my boots here." And that she now understands why the agency is so reluctant to take on new Panama-adoption cases.
She said of all the countries they handle adoptions for, Panama is the only one who gives out referrals that you just cannot set your hopes on, and she just doesn't understand why they do that. She said they do not start any processing of that child until the potential parent expresses interest in him/her, so that the end result is the child may not be adoptable or may be given to someone else (especially a Panamanian)."
Hi, Robin,
Apologies for getting into this thread so long after you posted, but I've been behind in reading list messages! I did want to respond, though, and please know I am using your email as a jumping off point and not necessarily directed at anyone!
With all due respect, I don't agree that it is the COUNTRY of Panama that is giving out referrals you can't count on. I really believe it is more that agencies working in Panama choose to do this. If you look at the information distributed by many agencies with programs in Panama, it would seem that infants are readily available. Not so. So to compensate, "referrals" are made of children who are not eligible to be referred. On the other hand, the DNA does indeed begin processing children, ie processing their case toward a termination of parental rights order that would free them for adoption, before the child is necessarily referred to any family, including a Panamanian family.
Technically, the matches are supposed to be made by the DNA, of a child who is free for adoption, to a parent(s) whose dossier is registered with the DNA. In reality this does happen, but also (and perhaps more frequently from what I have noticed) agencies will have lawyers that work for them in Panama to try to locate children that will be a match for a particular family. The information on this child - who does not exist in legal terms as a child to be matched, ie they are not free for adoption - will then be transmitted to a non-Panamanian family, who falls in love with the child only to subsequently learn that the child is going to be adopted by a Panamanian family and/or that the child is not really legally free for adoption.
I've been preaching for many years, re the programs in Guatemala, that families should never accept a child nor pay funds toward the adoption of a child, who is not legally free for adoption. A number of orphanages in Guatemala and/or their US counterparts (agencies) will offer referrals of children who do not have abandonment decrees and cannot be adopted until they do. In Guatemala, unlike in Panama, it's highly unlikely that those children would be adopted within their own country. And really the information on those children should not be released to anyone outside the court system or the orphanage itself. I've seen many families lose "referrals" this way in Guatemala, and have represented not a few of them in trying to sort out the mess.
So, according to our attorney, and as confirmed at my meeting recently with the DNA director, the only true matches are the ones initiated and approved by DNA, or, ones that might be initiated by the attorney, but are still approved by the DNA. I know for a fact that there are children who are legally free for adoption, after a termination of parental rights, who are ready and waiting for homes - our attorney has referred many of them to us and now we are seeking homes for them.
There are many children to be adopted in Panama and it's true that the government does not have the resources to process TPR investigations/orders as would be ideal, but they do get processed. And of course under their law, Panamanians have the first opportunity to adopt, which imho is as it should be.
The other consideration is the age of the child one wishes to adopt from Panama. Our attorney told us from Day 1 not to ever tell our clients to expect to be referred a healthy child who is under the age of 18 months. Yes, it is possible, yes it has occurred, but it is highly improbable when you consider that Panamanians do adopt the majority of the healthy infants. Other things that factor into this are the fact that the US is not a Hague country and Panamanian law does not provide for adoptions to non-Hague countries. However, in reality (and as the DNA director confirmed to me in my meeting with her) Panama does allow adoptions to the US because they recognize that Americans are a source of good adoptive homes for some of their children. I should also mention that many of the younger children are going to be referred probably to European families in Hague countries, as Panama prefers this. For example, they do many adoptions to Spain, which is a Hague country and when you think about it, shares some common heritage with Panama. (even the Spanish spoken in Panama is Castillian, not like it is in the rest of Central America!).
I write this not to discourage anyone but to suggest that they be cautious.
Best regards,
Caroline Callison Tiffin
Attorney at Law
Mom to David, 6.3 and Lisi, 5.7 both from Guatemala
Dear Caroline,
Thank you for the clarification. I have a few followup questions for you as well, if you don't mind:
Based on your conversations with the DNA director and your Panamanian attorney, do you have any idea why my husband and I have not yet received a referral for a child after 10 months? (Our dossier was submitted by our first Panamanian attorney on June 6.) Our requests were rather broad, except for gender: two siblings or a single girl (we were requesting that one child be a girl---I know that sounds horrible, but my husband raised three sons already and really would love to parent a girl!), ages infant to 5 years old (second attorney later amended our request to 8 years old), any race, any treatable medical condition (the only medical conditions we were refusing were HIV, Hepatitis, and terminal cancer).
I'm just curious why the DNA never had a referral for us?! Thankfully some friends of ours (the missionary family you met while in Panama) became aware of two adorable siblings, ages 5 and 3, and told our attorney about them. The attorney contacted the DNA director and a DNA social worker began the abandonment investigation (in August, 2003). He didn't actually complete the investigation and submit his report (to the DNA? to the judge?) until last month! The judge set a court date for the termination of parental rights (end of April), and our attorney expects the guardianship hearing to be 15-30 days later. (She has been very conservative with her estimates in the past, so we think this is a positive sign.)
We aren't too concerned about a native family adopting the children because a) they are "older" and b) the DNA director has already given our attorney her "blessing" for us to adopt them.
From your experience with Panama and discussions with the officials there, should we jump for joy now, or remain tentative (even skeptical)?
Thanks,
Rebecca