has anyone adopted a foster baby here?

Mel, Congrats on becoming a foster partent. We did the tradional adoption 19 yrs ago and it wasn't that long of wait. In the 10 yrs that we have been in fostering we have only had 1 infant that was part of a sib group. Just keep in mind that the little newborn babies aren't as available as they were at one time. But those older babies need just as much love. Our second child was 5 when she joined us and the next 2 were 6 and 8 when the adoptions were finalized with them. They are a blessing no matter how old they are. Annie 6

My adopted son just turned "3" this month. My son, 2 months at the time of "pre-adoptive" placement in my home, was indeed a foster placement. In fact, at the end of my foster & adoptive classes I was sitting in the class and another career foster parent informed me that her cousin had an infant, (my son), that would be having his TPR done soon. Two months after first learning of him he came to his "forever home" with me and my ex-husband. We didn't have to go through the "staffing meeting" either. (Unknown miracle at the time..) My son was born drug exposed and had an arm problem that required 8 months of physical therapy, but as expected he is thriving extremely well, happy, healthy, smart as a whistle "beyond" his age as his pediatrician states and I couldn't be prouder. One thing that makes it "easier" for perspective people to adopt is that you aren't "picky"... I didn't care what race, although I asked for "under 2".. it does make a difference in the amount of children you will come across. Also, living in the "outskirts" of St. Louis, I decided to choose to be a St. Louis (bigger area of course), foster mother due to the fact that the NEED is greater there then in the county I reside in. I deal with St. Louis DFS workers, but live outside the area. I knew I'd have more chances to become a mother this way as well as help out where there was a greater chance(s) for placement, and more often. Since adopting my son, he had a brother born that I as well became the "first" pick of placement for him. I cared for him for the precious first 7 months of his life, hoping to adopt him as well, but was happy with at least knowing where he was, his name and still have sibling contact with him after he was placed in his birth father's home. Also, after divorcing I decided to continue with this as a career foster parent and possible adoption placement home and for 7 months of last year had at one time, "6" children in my home. Currently I have "2" older foster brother boys (oldest of 5), and of course my adopted son. At this time though I am going to be reveiwed in a staffing meeting for another child, a baby girl (for adoption) and should know the results before another month's time passes. Points of help: Make sure you read all your newsletters, keep in contact with all other foster parents you meet, keep yourself up-to-date with the children they have place, keep in contact "esp." w/ any foster parents that you may have an adoptive child you may receive in case of any future wishes to adopt, these support people/friends may get in cases that you can request to be included on the staffing of placement for adoption. Note: It's important that "you" strive to consume yourself with all knowledge by asking questions and making an effort to make calls when you want questions answered. It's not also advised to "wait" on the system or workers, due to their heavy case loads to receive information. Another thing: Patience. You can't do this work/love these kids with hopes to adopt without that! Nerve racking as it is, it DOES pay-off to have patience. For me, not being able to have my own children, my pay-off was my beautiful boy, my forever child. I'm new here as of today in this message board system, but happy to help if I can to anyone. Much luck to all, Mo.FosterMom

Being the Mom of a child who spent her first three months in an orphanage where 2 nannies worked 12 hours a day, 6 days per week taking care of 24 infants---there's a lot that love conquers---remember that. Our daughter had motor deficiencies and a neck problem. With early intervention, physical and occupational therapy and lots of love and nutrition---she's the picture of health! I know several people in my community who have adopted through foster/adopt and their children all had "problems" from drug exposure, to neglect, etc. The kids are all fine and doing well in school and at home. That's one of the reasons why we decided to go this route (fost/adopt) this time, and we just completed training. We're awaiting our child! Blessings to you for being such a loving couple---your child/children! will be so fortunate to have parents who love and care so much. I'm in NJ and looking forward to hearing more about your experience.

I really appreciate all the input that you guys have. I really enjoy reading and get encouraged by your experiences. My husband and I just finished our 3rd class of our 10 week training. I can't wait till we're done. Love does conquer a lot, and I know my husband and I have the love and patience to do this. Keep your advice and experiences coming, I read everything and it never hurts to have lots of supports! Melissa

Do you have foster kids now?

Yes, it can happen. We are going to be finalizing our foster daughters adoption this month. We got her at 2 days old from the hospital. She was a healthy caucasian baby girl with the biggest roundest brownest eyes you have ever seen. She has dimples and ringlets. She looks very much like Shirely Temple. LOL Can you tell I'm smitten with her? LOL SHe was not drug exposed. Her mother had commited 2 counts of severe child abuse agianst her 1/2 siblings many years ago. We currently also have a set of twins (boy/girl) that are 9 months. We were asked to be their foster parents when they were one month old, but after three days (still in hospital due to 29 week gestation) DCS atty decided they didn't have enough evidence to prove abandonment and so dropped case. W e were no longer allowed to visit. These same babies came back into custody August 2 of this year, and we got them back. Looks very promising that we will be able to adopt. Of course anything could happen. We are just taking it one day at a atime. The bmom of these twins is pregnant again and due in Jan. She is having another baby girl. If that child comes into custody, DCS is placing her with us. However now a stepbrother and his wife want this new baby. They have hired a lawyer so don't know what will happen. So right now I have 3 under the age of three (fd who we are adopting is 34 months) and may be getting another infant. Just have faith and Pray. It will happen.

Melissa, We are adopting our precious babies in about 10 hours!!!! We got them both right from the hospital. I wouldn't sugar-coat it, it's been a long way here, but also wouldn't trade the experiences we've had for anything!!

YES!! We have adopted 2 children thru the foster care system. They came to use at 2 years, 11 moths (our son) and 5 weeks (our daughter). We currently have a 5 month old (had her since she was 13 days old) and they have asked us to adopt her!!!! We are still considering the "logical" things....can we afford 3 MORE college educations, can we give them EACH enough attention, can we handle puberty (abuse, drug babies)....you know. BUT it does happen ALOT!!!!

FYI, I suppose we are lucky, we have NEVER had a foster child leave....when they come they STAY!!!!

Good Luck!

Here in NJ I was told that there were MANY infants waiting in the hospitals for a home. Most of these children are African American but race did not matter to me so four days after I was licenced I got the call for my two week old foster son. They told me that I would probably get a call the day that I got licenced because I was open to any race. I was also open to drug exposure but not drug addicted (because I'm a single working mom). My son was born drug exposed with no withdrawels. He was totally healthy! Things can turn up at any time but he's developing wonderfully and he's the most beautiful child in the world. I could not be happier. The fost/adopt program is great and I have a wonderful social worker but keep in mind that there is risk. I'm hoping to be able to adopt my son but it will take some time. So just be prepared for that! My belief in God keeps me from worrying. I know that what is meant to be is meant to be. You just got to have faith.

That is the attitude to have! I do CPS in SC and it is God's Will!

Melissa, Sounds like you've got enough success stories, but I'll add mine anyway. Our son was nine months old when placed with us, and we were able to adopt him about two years later. Legal-risk adoptions can be quite the emotional rollercoaster, so be prepared to hang on tight if that's the route you go. You mentioned that private agency adoption would be too expensive. Are you familiar with the adoption tax credit. It is substantial and might make a difference for you. Foster-adoption is a fine way to go, so I'm not trying to steer you away. It's just nice to be able to know all of your options.

I was sooooo blessed to read everybody's posting. I do say that if it is God's will it will happen. I am also single and hoping to adopt and infant. I will be attending my second class on Tuesday. They did say they are in need of families for African American children. I got so excited. I just wanted to ask. When they say they have a need for families to take African American infants, do you think most of them will be drug addicted? Net

Net, there is a need for families for AA infants for many reasons. There are already a lot of AA children in the system who are all ages, there are also infants who may be drug exposed or addicted and then there are also infants who may be the second, third, fourth, fifth child to be born from someone who already has children in the system. That is the case in many fost/adopt situations. If a baby is born to a mother who has several kids in foster care already they will take the next child at birth. That was the case in my situation. That child is usually labeled fost/adopt because they are deemed likely to be adoptable due to this fact. So if a mother does not have any of her 5 children and is not following the plan set for her, and then she has another child...that child will be taken at birth and deemed fost/adopt. So no, not all infants are drug addicted. My son was not addicted. He's totally healthy and thriving. Good luck to you!

I think it's common to have drug exposed babies. There is a difference between exposed and addicted. One of my sons was exposed, the other had nothing at all. So in our house it's been 50/50 with adoption. Out of all of the children I've fostered only 1/7 has been exposed and 1/7 addicted. By chance both of these children were AA. But the other 5 children I've fostered have had their own issues: developmental delays, 2 broken legs, 2nd & 3rd degree burns, severely decayed teeth, lazy eyes, severe eczema, emotional & behavioral issues, adjustment disorders....the list goes on. But honestlymy son who was exposed to cocaine at birth is just amazing. When he first came to us he was delayed (due to severe neglect) and very hyperactive with signs of social anxiety. He's improoved so much, no more delays and is advanced in most areas, social anxiety has decreased dramatically with out meds and yes he has ADHD & SID, but we're working with him and he's flourishing. There's a lot of info out there on drug addicted & exposed babies. And a ton of success stories. LeenaB

Where in NC do you live, we live in NC also, Catawba County