Adopted and biological children

Hi, I have a friend who went through this and we talked about it and decided that she should make sure the girls know how important they are in the process. She would talk th them about what an important role a big sister would make and how they will be able to help mommy with the baby and how the baby will just love them. We felt that if you included them in the process as much as possible so that they knew there was no way that they could be a family without them, then it would start to make sense and they would realize just how important they are. Maybe even give them a specific assignment for one the baby comes. For instance, tell them that once the baby is home, it will be his job to put the napkins on the table for dinner, or that his job it to make sure there are at least 5 diapers on the changing table every morning. Just something simple, but important to them. Good luck! LBL

Explain to him, that Heavenly Father picked him to come to your family through adoption and Heavenly Father has picked this new baby to come to your family thru your tummy. Point out everybody else with more than one kid. Explain that in a family nobody ever gets replaced...you just keep adding people

Hi, My husband was adopted from the Philippines as an infant by an American couple, then raised here in the states. He wrote quite a beautiful story about his feelings, and how his parents raised him. It is too long to post, but you can read it on our website [url]http://orphanage_fund.tripod.com[/url] just go to James' story. His mom has also written a story on how she adopted James and his brother after she was told she couldn't have children. Well, five years later along came baby number one, and within a number of years she actually gave birth to three more. They ended up with six children. First two adopted, and the next four biological! Happy reading. Jen

After a year of trying to concieve, I was a wreck. Rather than look into all the fertility options and dive deeper into my sorrows, I decided to stop trying and get on with my life. I felt very confident that I was not in charge of this, and children would come to me when the time was right. After five years of unexplained infertility we finally felt like it was time, and that we needed to "get ready for our family," but before we could make the appointments, an adoption literally fell in our laps. Through a close friend, we were offered the opportunity to adopt a newborn in an open adoption. We had never considered adoption, as the waiting process seemed as dreary a prospect as the fertility route, but now, with the offer of a child on the way, we thought about it and readily accepted. For years I wondered why we were not able to have children, and this provided such an obvious answer. If we had been able to create our own biological children, we would never have been approached to adopt our little boy. They would never have given us the option, if we'd already had two little toddlers running round. This was the only way to get that little boy into our home, and he belongs with us. Whether this little boy will be the only one for us, or whether we will be able to give birth later, or whether we will pursue the adoption of other children only God knows right now. What we do know is that adoption is vital for getting children with with true parents. This little one belongs to me--always has, alway will--just like any other children come to us, however they come to us. I think that children with all their differences, will have questions and concerns and frustrations about pretty much anything and everything in their lives. And as with everything else, you get to lead by example--how you treat the situation will dictate how they feel about it. Make sure they know that it doesn't matter how they came to your family, you're glad they all made it home.

I know this post is a few months old(I just joined :D) but at one time after my daughters adoption when we were looking into infertility treatments again I found an awesome book (well by the reviews)about this exact situation. It talked about how one child grew in mommy's heart and one in her tummy but her love for both of them was the same no matter how they came. For the life of me I can't remember the title and I will try and search it out. I was going to purchase it but when our infertility treatments didn't work out I sort of put it out of my mind. Congrats also btw!!! Linda