ISO birthmom Valerie Cota, I was born 12/10/81, Santa Maria CA

I am not sure if Dennis' last name was Cota...I don't think it was. Valerie had never been married. These are some Cota birth names in CA that someone had found for me. Now, I spoke with my adopted dad and he said that Carolina could possibly BE Valerie now. Because she is in that age range. And then Valerie also had another child, and she gave him to her sister Joan Francis or Frances and she lives in Palm Springs, which I believe is Riverside county (i think). The only child that she had and she kept is Michael. So from what I have been told, Michael should still be with her. My dad said that my best bet would be finding Michael. Also, my adoption was NOT through an agency, it was a private adoption.

Your record lists mother last name as Smith as does Michaels. I wonder why there are 2 last names if she were never married? If her name was Cota then where does Smith fit in? Usually it is the mothers maiden or married name that is listed in the records. So valerie was older at the time of your birth? If she were born in 47 than she would have been around 34 at the time of your birth?

Just because your name was listed as Cota doesnt mean that your mother was married to him at the time - there are several options 1 You were listed under his name at birth (and she wasnt married to him but he was listed as father 2 She was married to him at the time 3 She married him at a later date this would 'legitimse' your birth and give you his surname. And those others may still be siblings as they also may be registered under their fathers name (and their parents not married)

i saw the name michael cota as a brother to the girl looking, if its the dude im thinking of,and if hes still in the same house, ( santa maria) i could go talk to him, but what would i say?

Best Way to Make Contact for a Successful Reunion It's important to realize that the most crucial part of the reunion is the first contact. If the first contact isn't handled with sensitivity and respect for the other persons privacy it can forever alter the outcome of the reunion. ItҒs wise to never assume that the person you are trying to contact will be as excited to be found as you are excited to find them. The other person probably will be thrilled to be contacted...however don't assume this and let the excitement of the moment propel you into making a rash decision to make a phone call and surprise them. I strongly encourage everyone to send a letter for the first contact and not to make a phone call or knock on a door. The letter from an adoptee should include a family picture if married or a casual snapshot if single. A birth parent should include one taken about the time of the adoptee's birth and a current snapshot. A phone call can be more instantly gratifying and has worked for many people. However, it can also bring any possible reunion to an immediate end if the birth parent you are searching for hasnt told other members of their family about the relinquishment. A birth relative may want to know more about you through correspondence before talking on the phone. The person being contacted may also need processing time to consider your request. What you donҒt want to do is create a deer in the headlights syndromeӔ and force them to make a quick decision if they were not expecting to hear from you. The most powerful contact is between the people involved in the relinquishment and adoption. A third party contacting the person you are looking for is not generally the best way to start a relationship. Its not wise to contact other relatives first in the hopes that they may tell you where your birth parents are living or where the adoptee is living. Relating your adoption connection to an unknowing relative could jeopardize your reunion. If you are using a search angel or a professional searcher to assist you in your search make sure that you advise your search assistant what contact rules are important to you in your search. Be optimistic and respectful and give yourself time to make the contact in a way that will give your reunion the greatest chance of success. Above all, if possible, avoid making an unsolicited phone call that may be perceived by the other person as "Hi Honey...I'm home!" There are exceptions to every rule but it is best to be safe rather than sorry. Be prepared to ғwait for a response. If the person you are looking for has also been actively searching for you then you probably will get a quick response. If they havenԒt been looking for you it may take one to three months before they respond to your letter. The burden of patience falls on the person who initiated the contact, whether that person was the birthparent or the adoptee. When you contact someone, you take them by surprise. Whether it's a positive surprise or a negative one, chances are that person will need time to adjust.. If you havent heard from them after one to three months I would suggest writing a second letter. Other great websites to check out: [url]http://www.adoptionchat.com[/url] [url]http://www.adoption.com[/url] [url]http://www.adopting.org[/url] [url]http://registry.adoption.com/[/url]

ill drive by the house, get the address and pm to you,if you'd like me too.

Sorry I have not logged in for a while -- I did not get any notification emails. Vidcamnut -- anything you can do would be wonderful. Are you friends with him? Do you know if his mother's name is Valerie? I would LOVE the address, I have found no contact info, just names, ages, and birthdates. Please email me ASAP: natashadh@msn.com AIM: NatashaCat07 I will also PM you. But yes, please provide me the address. And if he is your friend, please see if Valerie is his mother.

Also, Mike should be 24 yrs old I've PMed you and emailed you as well. I hope to hear soon.

On the birth index it says your mother's maiden name was Smith Possibly the birthfather's last name was Cota. There are some Dennis Cota's in CA. How old was the birthfather? There are quite a few in CA. Densie

I do not know how old he is, I don't have any information about my father except his name, and my adopted dad told me that's what he thinks it was. I think my best bet to finding anyone is to find Valerie, my mother, and Michael, my brother, because Michael is the only sibling that stayed with her.

I have found out that my mother is now going by the name "Valerie Tate" and is living in North Las Vegas.