Dealing with guilt

my dauther's APs felt the same way...not so much the dad as the mom. She remembered what it was like when I signed those papers and we had the Entrustment Ceremony. All I can tell you is that you just need to work through it. In time it will go away. As you have this open relationship you will begin to receive entitlement from birthmom and that baby of yours is going to continue to rely on YOU for survival and comfort. After awhile you will just naturally settle into a groove and forget about the guilt you had. I promise! My daughter's APs did...it's been 7 months since her birth and they've gotten past that. I have been working hard at entitlement so that they could. Just bear it and remember that YOU are mom. Perhaps it'll get better as birthmom begins to heal...it takes forever (I'm not done with it) but she'll have a good day now and then and you'll start to feel better... PM me if you'd like to talk further.