Told that I am a father of an adopted baby

Steve, It depends on the state you are in. You might want to find out if she went through an agency or a lawyer. How old is your daughter?

Steve138 wrote..I want to at least be listed as the father so I can visit, and get information from the adoptive parents. I don't know how you go about finding about your birthdaughter.. but I do think it is important.. She will want to know one day.. Jackie

Hi Steve, I suggest you post your "daughter's" info. Maybe someone in the forum recognizes some of her information and is able to assist you in your search. Best of Luck!

Steve, Since you're not married to the child's birth mother, you're considered a 'putative father' in the eyes of the law. Also, since this woman did not 'name' any potential biological fathers, the courts would follow the law regarding the termination of parental rights for 'any unknown birth father'. Laws do vary significantly by state. My best advice is for you to contact an attorney with experience in adoption and find out how the laws in your state (or the child's birth state if it is different from your state) apply. The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys keeps its' member list online - you can google the association name, then search by geographical area. If the adoption plan involves post-placement openness, you may be able to develop a relationship/agreement with this chid's adoptive parents for continued contact. For that, you might want to access the services of a mediator, especially since they don't know who you are and may react from fear initially. Good luck, Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

The adoption took place in california. I'm pretty sure that my ex used an agency rather than a lawyer, and my daughter's name is Natalie Lauren (first and middle). Thank you for your replies. I'm sorry it took a while for me to get these messages.

tobeafamily: Mediator? My ex says that the adoption was open, and that she can get pictures and everything. She said that she'd forward any information that she gets, but I don't trust her. I don't think my chances of getting custody in court are good; I am a student, and not exactly rolling in dough. I feel this whole thing is incredibly unjust. My ex, out of jealousy and bitterness didn't let me have a say in what happens in the life of my daughter! I feel so powerless.

Maybe you can mediate some contact through the agency.

Well, I'm not as angry as I was before. A lot of time has passed, and although I still think about this a lot, the sting is gone. Now I just wonder if when she is old enough, she will be able to find me. Suppose that she decided to look for her parents. She would meet her mother, but would her mother tell her who I am?

Steve, I am sorry you were decieved by so many dishonest people willing to keep a child from her own blood family who wanted her.

Maybe one day She'll decide that she wants to find me. Maybe she'll even do a net search for her own name and find this posting. I'll write her a message here, just in case:Natalie, I would love to meet you. I hope that one day you try to find me. I did not want to give you up for adoption, your bmother did that all by herself. If you find me, I don't think that you will be disappointed.Anyway, I'm sure that you have fantastic aparents who love you and are providing a great home for you. I can't provide too much information about me, my full name, phone number, that kind of thing for privacy reasons, but hopefully this will be enough to set you in the right direction. I will maintain this account for as long as I can. If you contact me via this account, I should eventually realize it and respond to you. It would make me a very happy man.