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My DH and I are looking into adopting. But I have no idea what exactly to expect or where to start. We were looking to officially have a child with us within the next 2-3 years. My DH is in his 10th year of duty and I am finishing my bachelors degree in education. What do I need to know, when do I need to do it and what should I expect so we can hopfully adopt a child. Any infomation will be most helpful.
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Hi & Welcome,
We adopted our son Ryan at his birth almost 2 years ago through domestic parental placement adoption (AKA 'private' adoption). DH was at the time AD/USN E-6, now retired. We live in Southeastern Virginia.
My best advice is first to go to your local library and read everything you can on adoption. There are three general ways to pursue adoption plans, each with its' own risks and benefits:
International
Domestic Parental Placement
Domestic Waiting Child/Foster Care
Ask yourselves these kinds of questions as you read and talk:
1. How important is it that your child share your ethnic heritage?
2. How important is it that your child be a newborn?
3. How willing/able are you to travel with little/no notice?
4. How much are you prepared to spend in fees and expenses?
5. How prepared do you feel parenting a child who may have been exposed to abuse, neglect, or institutionalization, known or unknown at time of placement?
6. How comfortable are you sharing your lifestyle, values, interests with others?
Remember, there is no one 'best way' only a best way for you.
One more thing - if you haven't already, begin saving/establishing reserves for your fees/expenses. This ranges from $0 for most Waiting Child situations to well over $30,000 for many international and some domestic parental placement situations. There is post adoption assistance in the form of a Federal Tax Credit and a Military Expense Reimbursement - both again after the adoption is final.
HTH, best of luck, feel free to ask questions,
Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas
My Dh and I are interested in domestic waiting children/foster care, but I have no idea where to begin.
You might contact the social services for the state that you live in. They can give you a lot of information about waiting children in the state you are currently station. However, if you are going to PCS soon, you'll want to wait until you move!