3 Year -4 Year Old

Hello: We are currently in the process of adopting a beautiful four year old from Delhi. We started out thinking we wanted a child under two, moved to a preschool age child, and ending up accepting referral of our beautiful little girl. Our agency called to say they had her child study on their desk, and though they knew that we had requested a younger child, they wanted to tell me about her. Several of the agency staff had been to India recently and met her, and simply fell in love with her. We have been fortunate enough to receive additional photos and even a wonderful video from another family who was there in January. Their little girl was our daughter's best friend, so she was in most of the video. I tell you this only because when my husband and I watch the video, we want to bring all the children home. They range in age from 2 to probably 10 or 11. They are all beautiful, smiling, happy children. They are dancing around, laughing and playing and seem to be so happy and joyful. The video served to reinforce our decision to adopt our Ally, and we know that we made the right choice for our family. We have been assured by so very many people that the orphanages in India take great care to ensure the emotional well being of its' children. After watching the video, you truly believe this is the case. Our dossier has been in India for a week now, and we expect to travel in August or September. So, for what it's worth...... Melanie

Thanks Melanie, Can you tell me who your adopting through? Also do you have any bio children as well? I ask this because we have a 12 year old and I am just wondering how your situation is with family...just comparing notes so to speak. Thank you so much, Jane

Jane: We actually have three biological children. Two in college and our four year old son. Ally will be just a few months older than Kyle based on the birthdate she has been given which was determined from an x-ray of her wrist. However, she is a few inches shorter and a few pounds lighter than Kyle. We went through Children's Hope in Oregon and Ally is at SOS in Delhi. We are tremendously pleased with our agency and thrilled with the care that Ally is receiving at SOS until we can hold her in our arms. Another side note, after talking with the mother who recently traveled to pick up her little girl at SOS, we have made the decision to take Kyle with us. We felt that it was important that the children be together immediately. The one regret the mother had was that she had not taken her children with her. Many crucial days of family bonding were missed and she felt it would have been easier on everyone had all her children been together in the beginning. Melanie

Hi Melanie, Thanks for the info. can you tell me about SOS in Delhi? I saw something on line about SOS is it a childrens village there were they take in children and give them foster mothers to help care for them..ect..? If it is the same place it sounds very impressive. I am sorry if you posted this before but how long has you adoption been taking? Do you have a home arrival date yet? I apologize if my post seems rushed..always rushing in the morning before work, oh well!!! Thanks a bunch, Jane

Jane: I looked at the SOS Children's Village site, and though they might be somehow related, the site does not mention any goal of adoption, be it within India or internationally. I know that the SOS Orphanage we are adopting through has the goal of finding permanent homes for all their children. They discuss with the children the goal of finding their mommy and daddy and of them leaving the orphanage. The children therefore are not traumatized when it happens, but rather excited and happy. When I watch the video of the other family picking up their little girl in January, it appears she has been prepared and appears to welcome her parents with open arms. She sits on mommy's lap and makes no effort at all to get down. When they left, there are no tears!!! We anticipate travelling to pick Ally up in August or September. We are in the mist of the worst time of year to get anything through CARA or the courts. We have been at this for what seems like an eternity. We made the decision to adopt from India in January 2003. It took until June 2003 to get all our paperwork assembled and our home study completed. We received Ally's referral in March 2004, and the dossier arrived at CARA on approximately April 9. We don't really expect our NOC to be issued until June. Hopefully the courts will granted us guardianship in July or August and we'll be off to get her in August or September. As described in some of the other posts, you can't really tell when CARA is going to throw up a red flag and for what, but more often than not, that process goes fairly smoothly. My only advice is to make your decision quickly and finish the paperwork and home study as quickly as possible. Nothing moves forward until your home study is completed. I can say that it seems like yesterday we made the decision and here we sit today with a picture to put with the name we chose so very long ago. And let me say emphatically that the wait has been worth it. When I look at Ally's picture and watch the video, I know that things worked out exactly as they were meant to. This little girl was always meant to be our daughter, and nothing could have happened any sooner or any later, it happened exactly the way it had to. I will be more than happy to share our experiences with you as they occur. I love to talk about our daughter. Melanie

Jane: One other thing I wanted to mention is the possibility of Nepal. Nepal is a little country just north of India (I believe, my geography is not that good). Our agency recently opened up Nepal, and from what I understand it is going very well. Referral's are coming rather quickly, particularly for children other than infants. They moved a number of the waiting families from India to Nepal. The process is rather straight forward from what I hear. We were not a candidate for Nepal, as you can only adopt a child of a gender you do not already have. We have two boys and a girl and therefore were not eligible to adopt from Nepal. I know nothing of the quality of care, etc., but maybe someone else has some additional info on Nepal. Anyway, just a thought. Melanie