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I have been in couseling since I lost my child to adoption 4 1/2 years ago almost 5 years ago now, I say lost because I did not make the choice to place, I had changed my mind but the agency coerced and pressured me to sign and in Kansas once you sign it's all over no matter what. I have proof beyond a doubt that I am supposed to get pictures and updates I have contacted the agency every 3 to 6 months for the last four years but am always told I will find out what is going why you haven't gotten pictures only to hear nothing, or the adoptive parents don't answer them when they request pictures. I have tried their attorney, I have been polite and nice but I can't help but be so very angry they sat in court heard what was done to me and yet, the one thing they can do that would help mend things they won't do, refuse to do is send pictures and recognize that I am part of my daughter whether they like it or not. I try and live my life being happy and doing the best I can to move on but I have hole in my life that was not meant to be there and there are times I don't know how to move on as how does one move on when they didn't ask for this situation, didn't give their permission for someone else to raise their child and didn't ask not be there for everything?
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Sweetie, I am not in your same situation. I voluntarialy gave my baby girl up. It was my choice and I stuck by it. Even when I had doubts and all I stuck by it. So, I don't know the additional pain you are in. My heart goes out to you.
My baby girl just turned 18 last month. My dad called me on her birthday. He said, this could be the 18 year and 6 month anniversary of you having an abortion, but you did the right thing and had her. It made me feel better. Everyone was pressuring me to have an abortion and I refused.
As far as your precious little girl goes, I am at a lose as to what to say to you.
Know that she is probably in a loving home. Know in your heart that even though it isn't what you wanted, it is what has happened. I would keep trying. Are you in a position to hire an attorney for yourself? Sometimes they will do a free consult and let you know if they can help.
Maybe some letters to a local politican or something. Our news channels here do free public consumer dispute cases. Maybe you can go that route.
In the meantime know that we are here for you. PM me if you want. I am not in a similar situation I know, but I know the pain of no contact. It does leave a hole in your heart and soul. Even if you weren't pressured into signing away your baby.
Sending you love and hope.
~wolfie
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