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I introduced myself in the previous thread because I have lots of questions and issues to discuss!
I plan to create a lifebook based on Beth O'Malley's book and I am also going to create a baby book for Andrew. My current dilemma is how much information to include in the baby book because I imagine the baby book will be more public and I want to protect Andrew's privacy. We met Andrew's birthmother and she shared a lot of information about herself, his birthfather and their children. I want to include his birthparents in his baby book but I'm not sure how much information to include.
Should I include his birth siblings in his baby book? (They will be in the lilfebook.)
Should I include his birthparents and birth siblings' full names and birthdates in his baby book? His birth mother's last name is already common knowledge among our friends and family because, with her permission, we used it as his middle name.
Should I include his original birth certificate in his baby book as well as his lifebook?
Finally (for now), has anyone read Adoption Lifebook: A Bridge to Your Child's Beginnings by Cindy Probst? What did you think?
Thanks for your opinions!
Jennifer
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Jennifer,
For what it's worth, I think if it were me, I would put first names (and birth month and day but not year) for birth parents and siblings in the baby book. I think you are right to want to guard Andrew's privacy and because he was adopted in the same town where you live, the chances of the public information being dispersed in a gossipy way are much greater. Similarly, the original birth certificate probably has identifiying information that you might want kept less public. Since you are doing a lifebook (good for you!) that information will be there for Andrew in great detail and he can decide later with whom he wants to share that information.
One option for the birth certificate in the baby book would be to include it but place a sticker or a photo or a journaling block over the part that shows the birth parents names or other information you don't want publicly shared. That way you would still see the seal, his name, the date, name of the hospital, etc.
You probably have them, but may not want to put pictures of the birth parents in his baby book. I would save them, and also certainly the information provided by the birthmother, for the lifebook.
Good luck to you!
Jennifer
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What I'm doing with my son is to create a 'master' lifebook that contains everything and then make color copies of pages that can be public for him to share. I also make a copy of everything for him to keep and look at whenever he wants. Since he was adopted from foster care at age 4 there is alot of information that he likes to look at, but not that he wants to share with his friends. Also, since there are so many emotions surrounding what's in his life book, a master copy prevents him from taking out his feelings on the stuff that can't be replaced. He can color or rip or do whatever to the copies, but still have the master for when he gets older.
I also haven't put identifying information in his lifebook. I have all of that in a file that he gets when he's older.
I hope this helps.
Good luck with your son's lifebook. The Beth O'Malley book is a great guide. I know that's what we use.
Blessings,
Jenny
I've been giving this a lot of thought, I got a great baby book for adopted children "Our Chosen Child" but also want to make another book - life book I guess, with more detailed info on the adoption that is not part of the public library :) this would include the pictures I have now of pbmom, our dear pbmom letter, info on how the adoption occured, name of agency, but also I want to be able to add a copy of the letters that I send to her, so want this binder style, and hopefully I"ll receive letters in return as well. Also want to jot down everything I know about her family such as siblings names and ages, etc. This will be a private album for her when she has interest.