your stories of int'l adoption ages 2- 6

I have no statistics in front of me, but a primary motivator in our decision to adopt from India was the relatively low rate of substance and alcohol abuse amongst birth mothers. The other was that there are many extremely well-run, well-staffed orphanages where the children get excellent care both physically and emotionally. Plus, a bonus for your situation is that almost all children referred from India right now are over two. And relatively speaking, India is inexpensive, especially if your child is considered special needs (and if your child is over 2, that alone may be enough to qualify him/her as special needs when it comes to India adoption) Good luck!

I'd like to add my praises to the quality of care in Indian orphanages. My daughter, 18 months old when she came home, was obviously loved. Someone had played with her, because she wanted to play with us (things like peekaboo and patting her hand on her mouth and saying woo woo woo). She'd also been kept very clean -- I think her mouth was wiped after every bite, because she wanted us to wipe her mouth unlike lots of children who turn away from the washcloth. She came home absolutely healthy, and a blood test confirmed she'd received her vaccines. So much depends on the child's history -- my daughter had been in the orphanage since she was three weeks old. I know of other children, whose early lives before they were placed in the orphanage were chaotic and abusive, who are not as emotionally healthy. And I'm sure there are orphanages that are less well run that the one our daughter lived in. It is always a good idea to find out what orphanages your agency works with and then ask other parents about their experiences there. We didn't do that, so it was just dumb luck we had such a great experience.

We adopted two children, ages 27 months and 14 months. They have been home for two years. They were both born in Russia. My daughter lived in a hospital. Common practice in their town for the first year of an orphan's life. Honestly, it was rather unpleasant there. However, my son was in an orphanage. It was very clean and well run for the amount of money they had. My son was well fed and clean. There were three caregivers for the eight 2-4 year olds in his group. There were also older children that stayed with the younger ones after their schooling. We have had no problems attaching with either child. My son had a difficult time with the transition. He tested us an awful lot and some of it was hard but we came through it all right. My daughter just melted to us. She just needed love and attention. Both are testing at level for most things. Speech is an issue with my daughter but she is progressing.

The problem with even "good" orphanages (an oxymoronic phrase) is the inconsistency of responsive care. There are multiple staff there at different times (shifts) so that they never learn the unique signals and cries of each infant. This non-responsiveness leads to a variety of subtle effects of institutional care, from anxious attachment to other difficulties. For children from Russia that is compounded by the frequent prenatal exposure to alcohol. There is no safe level of alcohol exposure and one often sees problems beginning in first or second grade as the subtle neurological effects of prenatal exposure to alcohol become evident in various specific learning difficulties. regards

I agree, "good orphanage" is a sort of oxymoron, but some are clearly better equipped to care for children than others. The Indian orphanage where my daughters were did NOT have caregivers working in shifts. It was set up to have some caregivers to stay with the children, and each caregiver had 3-5 children for whom she was especially responsible, depending on the ages of the children in her care (fewer children per caregiver if younger, for example). So my daughters, who are bio sisters, both had the same caregiver the entire year, day and night, that they were in the orphanage. And the rest of the staff were people they saw day in, day out. I feel like that made just a world of difference. I know an orphanage is far from an ideal place from a child, but I also know that the wonderful ladies who took care of my precious girls did everything they could to make it work, and that their loving care has made all the difference in the world when it comes to my daughters' adjustment and attachment here.

With all due respect Dr. Art, the increased use of alcohol in Russia is ALL about poverty. Russia is still so impoverished since its transition from communism to Federation that in many areas their councils cannot repair damaged water and heating pipes. In the dead of winter their pipes freeze and burst leaving them without any form of warmth in 50 below temperatures. They use alcohol like anti-freeze as a means of maintaining body warmth. Hence the growing problem with alcohol.

Regardless of the reason, the rampant abuse of alcohol and alcohol dependency among pregnant women is a leading cause of problems with children from that region of the world and a reason I'd strongly urge parents to consider other countries. There is no safe level of prenatal exposure to alcohol and the subtle neurological damage that is frequently found among Russian children is often not visable until later school age.

"Regardless of the reason, the rampant abuse of alcohol and alcohol dependency among pregnant women is a leading cause of problems with children from that region of the world and a reason I'd strongly urge parents to consider other countries. There is no safe level of prenatal exposure to alcohol and the subtle neurological damage that is frequently found among Russian children is often not visable until later school age." Oh my, heaven forbid we open our hearts and our homes to less than perfect children that need a family.

duplicate post...sorry

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I am not suggesting you don't open your heart. I am suggesting that you don't close your eyes! Too many adoption agencies misrepresent these children and the issues you will have to face and this can be a disaster for the child and family. You must go into this with eyes open and know what you are getting into so that you are prepared to help the child with appropriate help. Pretending that all is well when it isn't does a big disservice to the child. regards

"I'd strongly urge parents to consider other countries." The above statement does in no way reflect your desire for pap's to "go into this with eyes open"....it does however reek of someone trying to talk others out of adopting from Russia.

Most parents do now want to have to manage all the complexities that go with a child with FAS or FASD or RAD, etc., Hiding the truth from them hurts these children...having worked with several families that disrupted because of the misinformation given them by the adoption agency, I think it is true that many families and children would be better served by going elsewhere...I mean it is not as if the Russian orphans are any more or less deserving of homes than are the Columbian, Panamanian, Korean, Chinese, Kazak, etc. orphans! regards

Unfortunately, your posts do have tendancy to "bash" Russian adoption. I've read a few and continuously come away wondering why you have such a morbid view of adoption from this country. I am a living testimony of someone that has adopted an older child from Russia. She is attaching very well, is doing great in her new school and seems to have been a part of our family forever (please refrain from any analysis here please...I'm not looking for any opinoins with reference to our situation). She is doing fabulously and it hurts me to read someone (a Dr. no less....a person who's opinion many come to trust) tell those who have not yet adopted to "stay away" from Russia. Please don't forget the success stories...there are MANY. Please include these happy endings in your analysis as well. They exist and most people in our local adoptive group (those who adopted at the same time) are included. Not including the possiblity of a positive outcome of a Rusian adoption is doing prospective adoptive parents a disservice as well.

I am glad you were so lucky if your child is doing as well as you say, that is a very nice story. My only point is that the vast majority of Russian Orphans have prenatal exposure to alcohol and nearly 80% of those over the age of two have a variety of impairments. The onees who went directly into an orphanage, often have attachment problems (80%) and many have later learning problems and other effects of prenatal exposure to alcohol. The ones that were with their birth family for any time and then removed and placed by the State in an orphanage are in even worse condition. Russia is essentially a third world country and circumstances must be VERY grim and gruesome for the state to remove a child (even worse than what you see here). In the U.S. about 52% of adoptable children have symptoms of attachment disorder and about 80% of abused infants have such symptoms...the statistics are even higher for Russian Orphans. While there are exceptions and a percentage of those children are unscathed (maybe 20 or so), families need to know what they may be getting into, consider what risks they are willing to take and be prepared to address those problems and not bury their heads in the sand. So many Russian kids "look just fine," and are not. I get very concerned when I hear such remarks as, "She is doing so well, she loves everyone and is so friendly, she talks with everyone." A lot of these children "look good" but have not authentic capacity to form genuine deep emotional conncections to others. They can be very adept at pretending and at presenting exactly what they think their parents and other want. It is very sad to see when these children get older. So, families need to know what they may face and do their homework and get the proper evaluations upon return from the institution. regards