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Please help! I read over Candace's message & we are in the same boat (so to speak)...we are waiting for our child now. Our agency has very little bmoms, so we are "networking" to find our child. We are in need of any info on agencies or situations. We are hopeing for fees no more than 10k. We are also in KY which will only allow us to work w/ lic. agency. :confused: Any info will be helpful!
Jennifer
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We are a cc couple with 2 bio children as well. We adopted a Biracial daughter, an AA daughter & an AA son. We have had very little negative comments. We do get some odd looks, though. Some you can tell are unpleasant. To be honest, we have never had to say anything. Nothing has been that bad where we needed to have a comment. I get asked ,"Why would you want to adopt a Black child" or something similar. I just say that is the child we wanted to adopt & leave it at that. There was one lady one time though that got under my skin, but I was so shocked I didn't know what to say.
It was when our 2 year old was about 5 months old or so. We were at the grocery store & she was in those carts that have an attached car seat for the babies. The lady was in line in front of me checking out. Cirrah, our baby was making that cute baby laugh. The lady smiled at us then peeked over the car seat to see the baby. When she saw that the baby was black she made a disgusted look & got an attitude. I was like, whatever & ignored it. When she was finished checking out she lefted all high & mighty & left her shopping cart in the line in my way of checking out. I said to the checker, "Well that was rude" The lady swung around & strode back to me & said, "WHAT'S RUDE & WRONG IS YOU WITHTHAT BABY!" Then she stormed off again. I was shocked & just looked at her. Of course I had 10,000,000 things to say to her by the time I got to my car! LOL
That was really the only bad comment we've gotten. You will deal with them if & when they come. Each situation is different & you can't really know what you will say.
Good Luck!!
Deb
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Thank you all for your Help! We have registered with an agency in AR and are waiting to be matched again. Our first bmom changed her mind :( But thats okay, we will get our son or daughter home all in Gods time ;)
I read the comment about the rude lady :mad: People can be so rude! I ask you all to keep us in your prayers (we really need it!). Best wishes to you all! I will post when we bring our baby home!
hi,
dh and i are both cc and have a bio son. our dd is aa/cc. the comments we get are more the nosey kind. if i am alone with her, i get things like "oh your husband must be dark" or "is your husband hispanic?" i just smile and say, 'oh no not at all' and they kinda get this weird look on their face, but they pretty much drop it. one comment i really liked was once when i was in the park and a 'gramma' type lady looked in the stroller at her and then looked at me and smiled and said "she has dimples just like mom" that made me feel good. when dh and i are together with her, we get some 'double takes', they will look at her and then at both of us and then back at her and i can see the wonder in their eyes, but they never say anything. no one has ever said anything to dh, so i think it is a woman vs man thing. people think they can say things to a woman they wont to a man. so be prepared. when she is with me and my son (she is 6mo and he is 14 yrs) i have had people ask if she is my grandaughter. OH the Horror! first that my 14 yr old would have a child and then that i am TOO young to be a g-ma...LOL
i have asked dh how he will handle this if it ever comes up with him and he had a pretty good idea. he says he will say something like, "she gets that gorgeous hair from her birthfather, AND that beautiful smile, is All about Us"
i have heard of people who carry business cards, and when people get too nosey, they simply hand them a card and say, "your questions are harmful to my childs self-esteem, if you would like to talk about adoption, you can call me after they have gone to bed" i really liked that one.
i also like the "we prayed and prayed for this little one and the Lord finally delivered her to us when she was 13 days old" approach, lets them know about adoption and puts the focus on us rather than her.
so i guess in all of this i am trying to say, there will be looks and comments, you will have to figure out what is best for your child in your response. i do suggest having a couple of quick, one-liners ready, cuz the first time will catch you off guard.
i hope i helped
Hi there. We are looking at adoption and are open to adopting a biracial infant. We live in Canada and the wait for a newborn is terribly long so we are starting to look at agencies in the USA that will help Canadians. Can anyone give me the name of any agencies that will help us. Please PM me or post. Thank you sooo much :) Jillian
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I am sorry i did not send you my email is cagoku@verizon.net. thanks
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