janemarie, what's the latest?

Sorry I do not have easy access to a computer. Our daughter has an eye condition that occurs with premature children. We have been busy with medical appointments as well as visiting with family and friends. We are hoping we know more in the next couple of weeks regarding the court process for our case. I was so very excited to read Lauri's last post. That is great news. Have you heard anymore Rebecca? jane

No, we haven't heard anything from our attorney...well, not since this weekend. She e-mailed over the weekend to say that she STILL has not been given an appointment to meet with the judge (to explain our situation--18 months in Panama--and to beg for a quick ruling), instead of dragging out the TPR to allow for time to run drug tests and psych evals on the bmom. Oh, did I tell you all? The bmom showed up for the May 28 TPR (the second one, since she didn't show for the first)...But she is challenging the abandonment! (FYI--she gave the 2 kids to a relative shortly after the boy was born, 3 years ago, and disappeared for a couple of years. Then she came back to reclaim them, but while high, she bit the little boy and the authorities came and took the kids away for the 2nd time. They have been in an orphanage since May 2003, and she never once went to visit them or tried to get them back. But now that a family wants to adopt them, she wants them back. UGH!!! I'm a little torn. On the one hand, if she has really cleaned up her act, then this would certainly be best for the children. But if she hasn't (our attorney said she's still high on something!), and this causes even more delays...Oh, I don't know what we'll do. Our attorney wants to speak with the judge and beg her to make a quick decision and quit giving the bmom chance after chance. But I can certainly understand how agonizing it would be for the bmom who, for whatever reason, can't pull herself up and out of her self-destructive drug habit, but almost certainly loves her children and can't bare to see them taken away! I know that if it were me, I'd lose it! And so we wait once again. Hmpf. :( RE: easy Internet access...Have you been to any of those Internet cafes? We'd love to hear updates when you have the time (and energy!) to post for us!!! Take care, and give your little one a hug from all of us! Rebecca

Today one of our children was cleared for adoption through the court. We had to pick up the mother two days ago and put her in our care to make sure she appeared in court. We are confident that this situation will change in the near future with the new administration and these TPRs will occur prior to the referral being placed like many other countries we work in. A point is made on this forum about a birth mother being high and now wanting her children back. In addition there was discussion about this mother being torn about her children. I use this as an example only and not to single anyone out. The message is for all of us. You are comparing your life with that of a mother who has absolutely nothing in her life. She may be fortunate enough to have a roof to keep off the rain. She has no education, little if not any knowledge of the system and how it works. She probably has other children she has given birth to, various partners who may have fathered children, etc. If she is into drugs, the only way she can get them is to do acts that are illegal and for the most part immoral. The list goes on but the reasons that we are all here are the same. There are innocent children in the middle of this. You as adopting parents are the huge difference for these children. While of course we promote the care of these children by their biological parents, the trail for many of these children is cut short at the doorstep of some office, a dumpster, a toilet, a home where no one ever holds them or in fact leaves them for hours on end hung in a rack in a carrier. For many it would be criminal to turn these children back to their parents and unfortunately many have been sent back. We have supported law suits here to stop two children being returned to their biological parents after having been admitted twice into the orphanage for abuse and malnourishment. I have witnessed four year old children who weigh only 14 pounds from malnourishment. It is not uncommon for a mother to see for the first time, in our care, a shower, a toilet, or a bathtub. We had a mother who was asked to bath because of her tremendous body odor and after a prolonged wait, wondering what had happened to her, found her bathing with water from the toilet. She did not know what to do with a shower. You are in a system that is comparatively virgin for the adoption process. Someone in the group corrected me on the fact that other adoptions had occured in Panama previous to the turnover of the canal. That is true, and I wasnt attempting to make a case of absolutely no adoptions ever. Some adoptions had occured. However. this country has probably easily 1000 children every year that could be adopted either domestically or by international families. (a very conservative estimate) The majority of them, for a variety of reasons wind up in homes outside the system or in a substantial percentage never reach adulthood. If you look at the birth rate in Panama you will find that it exceeds 4.76 children per couple. Annulized and figuring for the current population which is in the vicinity of 60% under the age of 25, that will mean that in the year 2025, Panama will have a population of approximately 10 million people, up from 3 million in 2002. This is an estimate only as other factors figure into this and the actual number would be much higher. Many of these new borns will come into families that have no means of supporting them. The infrastructure in Panama is already straining under the weight of new children entering the system. Talking to a variety of people in Panama, both the educated and non educated, it is not uncommon to find they come from families of eight or more children. Their mothers and fathers all come from families of eight or more and they are continually growing. Because of economics and the continued education of many Panamanians, I am guessing at the numbers as they would actually be much higher. I am assuming that the cost for the new Panamanian who is employed in the cities their families will be smaller and the average family size will reduce. A former employee of ours is from a family where the father has 19 children from four different mothers, and only married to one of them. I make these points for you for your consideration as you agonize over the process. These children have need of you. They are not the process. I have not been in any country on this planet, involved as I have been in the adoption process, where I have seen a reasonable explanation for the way orphans are treated or the way the governments approach this incredibly important issue. This includes the US. You may have to wait a few more months than you thought, it may cost you more than you thought, it may be more difficult than you thought, you may be given a variety of information that was different than you thought it was going to be, you may be faced with problems different than what was originally explained to you or that you were originally prepared to accept. And certainly, you may have to wait longer than you thought you would have to. No one involved in this process in any country, including Panama, is here to give misinformation or to be less than forthcomming on the issues involved. I speak as one of the people closely involved in the operations in Panama. These children do not have a price, a time limit, or an end run that I can throw up my hands at. They are the precious gift that each of you and I are given to cherish and to give our love to. Each of you will have your day when that child in your photo or in your minds eye will materialize in your living room, the bedroom you prepared especially for them, ride the bicycle you bought, or give you that warm smile and loving hug that tells you they are your child. Help us with your prayers. Help us with your positive support. I know that I can speak for everyone who I know in this process that we are committed to your child coming home to you. You are all great and wonderful people for having the bravado to do this. We as Americans tend to evaluate others based on our value system. It is impossible to do in countries like Panama or the many others on the planet that are involved in international adoptions. Send love. Jim

Point taken, Jim. Here's <<LOVE>> being sent to the mother of the children we have waited anxiously to hold in our arms for nearly a year. May she find the strength, compassion, and resources to adequately and lovingly parent these two children should the judge decide that for them. And may we not lose our minds when that happens.

Don't let this situation with the Birth mom frighten you or cause you to lose hope. MANY OF MY FRIENDS WHO ADOPTED had to go through this VERY circumstance!!! One good friend had her birth mom show up in court UNEXPECTEDLY trying to "all of a sudden" show interest. It was all because of the "shame" she felt that her own child was having to be adopted...... she was under pressure from her family to at least SHOW UP in court to "save face". Adoption went through just fine...... :) You know what our first judge tried to do? Tried to convince us that there would be no adoption if we didn't agree to adopt the child AND the birth mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you imagine? As it turned out, the judge was trying to get the birth mom (who was a child herself) off her sister's hands, as she had taken her in as a foster child (familia substituto)... and she had grown tired of having to care for her. Anyway... All the rumors and inuendos need to be taken with a grain of salt, and I would be very cautious to believe the stories coming 2nd hand within the system. Gossip is notoriously heavy in those circles, and often embellished. Not to mention everyone's fearful of their jobs, and watching their backs, and might be prone to saying ANYTHING if it covers their hiney. At one particular court house, I know of a group of "judicial employees" who have formed a Protestant prayer group -- they have to get together in SECRECY for fear of losing their jobs in a primarily Catholic environment. Even religion plays a role in keeping your job around there. Also, it doesn't matter if you're using an agency, or have hired your own attorney... they all do the same work at the same pace based on the attorney's personal connections and experience. Everyone's going through the same delays. I know your attorney, Rebecca, and she has an impeccable reputation....... my friend said that she is highly regarded in Panama, and if ANYONE can complete an adoption she can (and she has). According to our former attorney in Panama, your attorney has been approached numerous times by agencies who want her to help them (and she's turned them down). I may still have that email..... if so, I'll send it on to you. It will cheer you up.... :) QUIT WORRYING - you're in good hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Kim ;)

It is not that I do not have access to the computer - I miss stated. It is that I do not have opportunities to write. The computer is at my in-laws and we are staying with my husband's grandmother. We went to the doctor today for a regular check up. Our daughter is really growing and doing well but still needs alot of help with her eyes, ears and muscles. She is 9lbs and is almost 8 months old. We are starting her on baby food. The doctor went into detail on how to prepare soup, fruit, and veggies for her. I asked if Gerber would be okay and he said - oh yeah. Sounds much easier to me!! We are happy she is gaining weight and progressing so well. The doctor was very pleased with the difference one month has made. As for chocolate - seems like there is a lot more sweets available this time. jane

Janemarie..... Wow..... 9 lbs....... that is sooooooooo tiny. Bless her heart. A good friend of mine in Panama adopted a premie, too.... and she is now a healthy, thriving 6 year old. It was tough for them to find the nutritional supplements they needed (I remember her going nuts looking for nutramigen - sp???)..... but in the end, their little girl TOOK OFF, and really blossomed. Have you taken any photos that you can share with us here? I'm so happy for you... I think everyone here NEEDED to hear your good news (about getting there, getting your daughter, etc).... so keep posting! You're providing much needed "hope" for those whose cases are getting stuck in the log jam there. :) Take Care... kiss that baby for us.... ~kim P.

Our daughter had a hearing test done and SHE CAN HEAR!! We are so very happy as we had concerns. She is continues to progress well. She has better control of her head and seems to be looking around more. We are pleased. Lots of rain here and has been humid. Does not make for comfortable days. We will be celebrating Father's Day with the extended family. It is so nice to be here on the special days. We will keep you posted on any court proceedings but for now we do not have any information. jane

Oh, that's WONDERFUL news, janemarie! I'm sure this time you are able to spend with your daughter will make all the difference for her! So glad she's doing better and that you have family there to share in your joy! Rebecca