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I have something I would like to say coming from a birth mom. Currently I have not lost my child to dyfs and do not plan too. I have read some of these forums and it seems as though dyfs is being used to combat adoption. I think it is a wonderful thing to have parents willing to love and care for a child that is not their own, especially in instances that the child is in a severely abusive atmosphere. However, dyfs is SUPPOSED to be an organization to help keep families together NOT break them apart. And by families I mean the birth family. This could probably be the reason that dyfs is so quick to remove a child from its home without even investigating the issue. Someone called dyfs on me and my husband simply cause we had a arguement. Yes, we were yelling but who doesn't??? Now we are required to attend ADV meetings. Now, I know how this government works and God Forbid we miss an attendance because my husband has to work overtime... is our child going to get taken from us??? I have researched the internet and found several parents that have had their children taken from them for either reasons that they might had smoked a little pot, or argued with their mate, or even had someone spitefully told lies. This is ****ed up, excuse my french but there is no other way to put it! You can't even discipline your child anymore in this world without someone getting involved. DYFS is supposed to HELP the family and they clearly DO NOT DO THIS... the family IS the BIRTH PARENTS. They need to stop being so evasive and stop portraying their services as an adoption agency and START investigating issues before they make such hasty, erradic and irresponsible decisions.
Please do not take this personally against you or against anyone who is looking to adopt a child. Unfortunately, some of us can not have children or are just so good hearted that they are willing to take care of someone else's. But coming from a birth mother, I can't imagine someone looking at my child in the same eyes that I would no matter how much they love them.
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Hi there. I don't want to speak about you, I can only speak about my past experience as a past foster parent. Yes, I agree that DYFS is very hard to work........they really made me mad at times. On the other hand, some of the kids we had did go back home without any problems and others went to adoptive homes or to a relatives house. All of the kids we had, had major problems.........not just from a mother smoking pot once or twice. Most of them where happy to be with us, a family they could feel safe with. I remember them coming home after a parent never showed up for a visit.........they would cry. I remember them always having hope that their parents would make their goals and do what they needed to do to shape up. Most of the parents did not. If they did go back, it was very sad to see the children actually scared to go back to their parents and wanting to stay with us. Why should a child stay in foster care for 3 or 4 yeas without having a forever family, as they get older it is harder to find a family. Why shouldnt people want to adopt these kids or be happy to do so? Don't blame adoptive parents for wanted a child that needs help, I know your saying your not but it seems like you are. A child should not have to stay in foster care for 3 years or longer!!! If you get your kids taken away for a small thing, you child would not be in foster care that long. Why did you make that post for adoptive parents to read?
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It's not written for reasons as you say nor to hurt adoptive parents as I clearly state that I commend people who can have such a caring heart to care for children that are not of their own.
The reason for this post is simply because of the issue I had and because of it chose to search the internet and came across this website when typing DYFS in the search option.
However, to comment on your remark that "if it is something small your kids will only be taken for a short time" Is this a joke?? NO child should be taken from their parents for even a short time better yet ONE night!!!! for something minimal no less???? Unless the child is in a life threatening situation... and this does not include mental development. In that case, DYFS SHOULD be helping the family by providing therapy in hopes of doing what they are state funded to do being to keep the family together. Placing a child back and forth is far more tramatizing and confusing which is guarenteed to cause problems in their psyche development.
This is America and the more I read of the government controlling our lives in even the slightest way is proving to become more communistic by the day.