Any other nzers feel like me?

Hello, what can i say?, my life sucks...i solely attribute it to adoption. I was adopted as a baby. I am an indigenous person of my home country and the govt. of said country had no qualms about me being adopted into a family of a different race. I turns out my "mum and dad" have some quite negative stereotypical beliefs regarding my race and culture. If the adoption people had of asked a few questions at the time of my adoption i'm sure these would have come out...maybe they did but didn't care...anything to get me off their books. So things started out bad and only got a whole lot worse. I didn't bond with my mother as a baby, i was a lot of work and i'm pretty positive that she regreted adopting me but what could she do?.Anyways my parents divorced and i went to live with my father after he was released from a psychiatric hospital. I don't have too much to say about this period other than he should not have been released. Fortunatley my older brother was living there too and he saw how much of a bad situation it was so he organised a foster home for me. This foster home didn't work out for a couple of reason's. Then i didn't like my foster parents much, but now i realise that they were pretty special people, benefit of hindsight i guess. I moved back to live with my mother for a brief period but that didn't work out either so I was placed into another foster home. This one was awesome, i really like living there and i hold my foster parents from this home in the highest regard. Well i managed to survive adolesence and my 20's without killing myself and at the same time finished a university degree. I thought my life would really change after finishing University, but it hasn't. I dont really have any friends, i'm a 30 year old guy and i live alone in a foreign country teaching english. The only contact i have with other people is at work. The rest of the time i am alone, either at my apartment or on weekends killing the pain of my dreary existence with booze. I feel like a nonentity. There is very little too tie me to this world. I have no contact with any family members and i have no contact with any friends. There is nothing positive for me. If i was too die hadly anybody would care. my funeral would be an absolute joke. I'm not being melodramatic here, i'm speaking the truth, how do I manage to hold on?, i guess due to a sense of hope that things will one day be better for me...i hope they do but i'm not really sure they will. I can see myself dieing a sad lonely man. I am 30 years old and am a bit of a loser. I can't go back and live in my hometown as i really messed a lot of things up back there and i am regarded as a joke. I am hurting inside.