why does my kids' school think they have so much control?

Dad, I absolutely support rules and the enforcement of them, just like Crick. I do not think that snacks should be a huge area of focus, because unfortunately, so many other areas are/have to be. But, I do not support any philosophy that says my child and my rules/choice and neglects a cooperative arrangement between parents and teachers. Rules are there for the support of children, families and an environment that is conducive to learning and growth, for all students. Sugar, I, too, find the presumption offensive. Frankly our school system sometimes fails the talented and giving teachers as much as it does the students. It is a world where their judgment, creativity and intelligence is less important than rules and lesson plans. It is a world where they cannot teach the rules of math or share the joy of literature because they are too often forced to intervene and provide discipline/structure that has been so greatly lacking at home. My mother was an English teacher and a good one. She was highly respected and loved by her students, but like many do, she left education for corporate America where her intelligence was valued and used, instead of confined to a box. I have nothing but respect for teachers who rarely get the respect they deserve, never get the pay and now too often do not get the freedom to teach because they are forced to police.

i think granola bars are a good snake, oh, i mean snack.. :D i would consider a granola bar actually healthy, and its more healthier then a grahm cracker....so with that said... :rolleyes: i think what the teacher did, by taking away the snack was not called for and by putting the child in the middle goes beyond what i consider a 'rule'... :mad: i think im talking generally......when i use the word snacks, i am referring to 'twinkies', 'yoodles' 'cookies' etc. again, i wouldnt like the rule the teacher has in place, but i would respect it. (does that make sence?) if my sons teacher wrote a note to us and said : "from now on, there will be no sugar snacks allowed in the class due to the effect it is having on some children we are asking parents to pack a non-sweetened item like chips, apples sauce, fruit, raisins, if you have any concerns, please feel free to contact me...etc" i would not be angry and i would simply obey the rule and my son would be packing a different snack. i think for me, its one of those things, where i know what a class of 20 kids can be like and its not easy, and if the teacher is having a hard time teaching the class because of the sugar rush after lunch....then so be it...no sugar allowed. i can respect that, and i would be fine with it. i would obey any rule if its going to get to the root of why my son is in school in the first place,and thats to learn. even if he doesnt get effected by sugar after lunch, and some other kids do...the teacher would not be teaching my son but dealing with the disruption of the other kids who might be effected by the sugar rush. and i will tell you, it only takes one child to disrupt a whole class. and for me, due to my sensitive nature.. :rolleyes: ...i wouldnt highlight one child that cannot bring in sugar snacks and let the others...i would simple make it a rule for all as to not point fingers at any specific student when i didnt have to... so if its just one kid that gets disruptive due to the sugar rush (chances are its not by the way.. ;) ) so be it...change of menu for everyone. i rather have my child learning then watching ms murphy dealing with the sugar rush kids. sometimes its not just about OUR kid, but ALL of them....but then again, im a true believer that it takes a villiage to raise a kid.... im still waiting for the villiage though.... :D l regarding sugar rush...my younger son does not get effected by sugar, and doesnt particular like snackes (remember i said i packed yoodles in his lunch box instead of apple sauce...guess who took one bite out of his yoodle?...lol. but my older son, when he has sugar...OMG.. :eek: he really becomes a different kid....when i say 'hyper' oh lordie lord.....and he loves sugar... :( maybe because i have two kids where i can see the difference in what sugar brings out in them...and its quite different. so we try to avoid sugar snacks for both kids, due to the effect it has on my older. i cant give my younger son cookies and not my older....i just dont give any....its easier that way. and im only dealing with two...lol. it might not be fair to my younger, but sometimes, life isnt fair and for the 'good' and 'peace' of the house, no one has cookies... and i will tell you with kids....out of sight, out of mind...most of the time anyway....

sometimes its not just about OUR kid, but ALL of them....but then again, im a true believer that it takes a villiage to raise a kid....im still waiting for the villiage though.... I think thats totally undermining parental authority. I do not believe that a school, a teacher, a principal has authority over my children... As far as the Teacher comment, what I meant by this- and I AM NOT saying all teachers because my kids have had some WONDERFUL ones. And I have ALWAYS established a relationship with them right from the beginning of the school year. But the teacher will know that I have the authority over my child, if a problem arises, I expect to know so that I can and will correct it. It is important to have an ongoing relationship with a child's teacher. I can't stress that enough! If my child does wrong, I demand that I know about it, so that I may take corrective action as is my right. What often happens is that what is being lived at home- character building, self-esteem, values, morals etc.. is NOT being reinforced in public schools. Just the opposite is occuring... Kids are getting two conflicting ways of being raised. How are these kids supposed to form character and postive reinforcement when they have two completely sets of ideals being taught and can not differentiate between the two. Teachers have a VERY difficult task, and I believe that there are many teachers out there that still view teaching as a vocation- not a "job". I know that they have to deal with loud parents, ignorant parents, lousy administrators. But the ones that love these kids are to be commended 110%. They are dedicated but also aknowledge that the parent is the authority... Now, Im talking here about parents that are NOT neglecting their children. To me, that is a whole other issue of where if the parent is not parenting properly and raises red flags... All in all.. we must work together.. Parent should respect teacher and work together.. Teacher should respect parent as final authority. just my 2 cents:) Oh Crick.. watch your backside.. Im right there:) lol

I think thats totally undermining parental authority. I do not believe that a school, a teacher, a principal has authority over my children... i dont think having no sugar snakes for lunch is undermining parental authority at all. I think if it helps the class learn better, then it isnt undermining anyone, the teachers are trying to do their job and teach our kids, and if they find it easier to teach our kids without snacks at lunch, then so be it. I dont feel its undermining, i feel the teacher is trying to teach our children i agree with alot of what you said after that..... ;)

Hmmm...I'm kind of in the middle in this I think. Dad - I agree with you that if 20 kids show up with twinkies every day for snacks then the learning environment is sorely compromised. Ultimately then, our kids will suffer because they will not be learning amongst all the chaos ensued from sugar highs. Granted, not all kids will get the sugar high behavior, but some will and that will be enough to disrupt the classroom environment. So guess my solution to that is by all means...suggest that kids bring healthier snacks to school and promote a more healthy diet. However....(you knew that was coming...:)) If it's not MY child disrupting the classroom, then don't tell me his diet is interfering with their "rules". It's just like my irritation with those kids that cannot behave for whatever reason and disrupt the class to the point where the whole class suffers the consequences instead of the children who cause the problems. KWIM? My son's class has 3 kids that just like to be loud and obnoxious. It's always the same 3 kids. And yet if at lunchtime those 3 are acting up, then the whole class has to stand against the wall for 5 min and lost that time of recess. How lame is that? In my mind, those 3 should be dealt with individually. If my kids act up in school....come tell me and it'll be dealt with. But if someone else's kid is acting up, I don't feel it's fair for my parental decisions to be questioned or undermined. If another child can't handle a twinkie and disrupts the class...by all means....contact that parent directly and let them know. And dabgunnit! Don't take away my child's granola bar! LOL!:)

Ahhh, but the REAL question we're all waiting for an answer is, crick, what DID you end up doing about it (almost) a year and a half ago? LOL

:D :D :D plareb, i didnt even realize that this post was so old....lol. i thought it was a new issue crick....not that it matters, but too funny....who dug this up anyway.... :rolleyes: lunchtime those 3 are acting up, then the whole class has to stand against the wall for 5 min and lost that time of recess. How lame is that? In my mind, those 3 should be dealt with individually. totally agree... i guess it all depends on what one seems as 'punishment', i dont think having kids not bring twinkies, cookies to lunch is punishment because of the few that have sugar rushes... sugar effects everyone....some kids might not go off the deep end from sugar rush, some kids actually might just get real tired and not want to do anything....which isnt great either. plus, if its chocalet, there is usually caffeine in chocalet...... so by removing the sugar snacks, i wouldnt consider that unfair punishment because of the kids that were disruptive, only because of the sugar rush.... but this is an old post...so what ended up happening crick.......

Well I totally agree that you cant single out ONE child. I would do what you suggested Dad and send a note home to the entire classroom and say rules--- NO SUGARY DRINKS OR POP. Limit sugar in lunches.. etc etc.. We are definately on the same note there.

6boys, You have many valid points, and I understand how one distrusts that the school will be an extension of the hard work a parent has taken in teaching ethics, value, character, etc. This is not the fault of teachers but of parents who have not taught their children. And I totally understand why parents homeschool. Were there not options outside of my public district, like charter/private/magnet schools, I, would without hesitation, homeschool my children. We, fortunately, do have many other options. I agree that you cannot single out one child and allow exceptions; however, the problem I have with this is that so many children are disruptive and create a chaotic environment at school that limits the learning opportunity, and I think this really has little to do with sugar. Those children who are disruptive, for whatever reason, need to be the focus of guiding/directing/etc. rather than address issues as a group. I am not advocating that children bring mass refined sugar products to school, but who is going to judge what is appropriate. I, for one, that that eating pumpkin loaf, especially with natural ingredients, is far healthier than eating French fries.

red the problem I have with this is that so many children are disruptive and create a chaotic environment at school that limits the learning opportunity, and I think this really has little to do with sugar. i agree, sometimes it has nothing to do with sugar why children are having behavior problems. in my own life, my child was thrown out of a mainstream kindgartin class due to his behaviors... :eek: however This is not the fault of teachers but of parents who have not taught their children. his behavior has nothing to do with what i am not, or am, teaching my child. It has to do with his anxiety disorder due to His PTSD issues, and he has a hard time functioning in a large group of children. i guess its one of those things....as an outsider looking in, it would seem that i have not taught my child how to behave in large groups, but as an insider, i know the reasons why he cant behave in a large group. but i still believe that sugar does effect kids differently, and yes, some kids who have sugar do go off the wall where before, they were fine.

Oh, Dad, Dad. Popping in. I was certainly not referencing an experience like yours or your children's. Let's look at another example. We go every week to a large local place for a child's event and have been for almost two years. I have seen some of the same children since they were wee ones. They scream, run, (indoors) hit other children, throw books on the ground and tear them up all while they should be encouraged to listen. The parents visit with each other and never provide any redirection. They do not tell them that those items belong to the store and model how to handle them. They just ignore the behavior. Once I saw a boy hit another; the mother did not guide or talk to him and explain why we don't put our hands on other people. Instead she shrugged and told the other mother, 'what are ya gonna do; he is two.' Unacceptable in my book.

;) ...red, i know what you were talking about...but i had to say something about the 'judgements', you know i always do... :rolleyes: i can even take it a step farther...i was at the playground and this 4 yr old boy kept hitting all the kids that were in his way... well, this mother didnt ignore him, instead she ran up to him, grabbed his arm, and hit him.....and said "dont hit" while she was hitting him. it was so clear where he learned to hit from....it was constant...child hits, mother hits, child hits, mother hits.....it was like that for hours until one parent finally spoke up.... :o

ROFL! I didn't ever answer the original problem, did I? :) I did end up emailing the teacher about it and she agreed that putting my son in that position was not fair and she should have talked to me directly. We worked it out that he could have the granola bars and she appreciated the fact that I did not send him to school with twinkies etc. Actually turned out to be one of the best teachers ever and he did awesomely in her class!:) You may now continue....LOL!:)

So Crick, anything else bad happen so I can FINALLY convince you to homeschool:) Von

I should be in bed, but I just found this thread and couldn't stop reading untill I got to the end. I have many fears about this fall when I send my son to school (4 yo placed 9 months ago). I have practiced this situation in my mind a hundred times and the thing I always come back to is that while teachers are professionals and they enter this profession because of an interest; their investment in my child is only nine months, I have commited a life time. They may be professionals, but when it comes to my son, I am the specialist! I have a feeling that I will not be popular in my sons school. Vetski