Blocking out memories?

Aunt-B, Please tell your sister not to feel guilty for not remembering or for anything else for that matter. No mother forgets the birth of her children unless she is in profound state of trauma caused by unbearable grief and fear resulting form her experience and/or she was heavily sedated during the entire process. Back in the 60's mothers were doped to the eyeballs with barbiturates that all had a retrograde amnesia effect. It was routine treatment in most places and used as part of the "clean break theory" in the belief that if the mothers memory of her birth and adoption experience could be obliterated she would move on with her life and put it all behind her. Instead it created serious mental health problems in many young mothers of the time, including severe dissociative disorders, psychogenic amnesia, PTSD, multiple personality effects but not of the MPD model. The grief for many was so unbearable that their minds split and they had to manifest a false coping self to survive the loss and trauma. it's therefore not unusual for the mother to feel as if she is that 15yo while she is dealing with it. It's how trauma works. If you want more info on this let me know and I can give you some links to read. If she is beginning to talk about it hopefully she will gradually begin remembering in snippets. See if you can find out the type of perfume she wore at the time and buy her a bottle of it. Or soap, or food craving. Stimulating the olfactory senses can sometimes begin the remembering process if she is stuck. She must also try to obtain some info from your parents while she can.

Thank you SO much for your post and for the information. I sent a copy of it to my sister, and she also wanted to thank you. She stated she would be VERY interested in reading more on the things you mentioned in your post (ie: mental health problems in many young mothers of the time, including severe dissociative disorders, psychogenic amnesia, PTSD, multiple personality effects but not of the MPD model, etc.). Please let me know where we can find this information. And once again, thank you!! Aunt-B

Dear Aunt-B, Here is a link to what I was referring to earlier. Written by Dr Geoffrey Rickarby Child Psychiatrist with 35 years expertise in adoption matters, as a submission to a Govt inquiry. Below the extract are a few more links to the rest of the site where you will find more reading material of that nature and more. It should be enough to get your started. So little was known of the effects to the mother until recent years. I hope this will help your sister understand how she was affected and be able to find professional help in dealing with it. The most imperative aspect in healing is to receive validation of her feelings without justification. Justification only serves to retraumatise. [url]http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/rickaby1.html[/url] A variety of measures are required depending on the nature of the damage leading to distress and the type of distress associated with the individuals response to such damage. A list of the varieties of damage follows: Pathological Grief. Personality damage associated with the defences used against grief, against post traumatic stress phenomena and against depressive decompensation. Personality damage associated with the isolation of the birth experience and the loss of the baby, where this is a secret and there is no significant other to share the feelings and unresolved issues associated with the loss. Axis 1 Psychiatric Disorder Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Major Depression Dissociative Disorder Panic Disorder (and other anxiety disorders) Dysthymia Situational Stress Disorder (often associated with reunion) Alcohol Dependent Disorder Prescription Drug Dependent Disorder There are other drug dependent disorders which are uncommon among these mothers. Personality damage associated with psychiatric illness as a sequel to loss of a baby to adoption. Personality damage associated with long term Pathological Grief. Aggravation and precipitation of a wide variety of physical illness which are related to stress. Disorder and incapacity in human relationships. Educational failure and poor employment status. Failure of bonding to other babies. [url]http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/rickaby2.html[/url] [url]http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/psych.html[/url] [url]http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/[/url]

Once again, thank you!! Thank you for taking the time and for sharing such important information. Aunt-B