i'm new and it's her b-day

Hi, I don't know what kind of support I can offer, but I had to reply. My birthson will be 1 on Sept. 19th. The best advice I've had so far is a bit hard, but it helped me - embrace the pain. Giving up a baby is a pain filled thing, I put off dealing with it for some months by swimming in alcohol. It was sweet oblivion, but reality was always waiting for me the next day. I've finnaly embraced it. I just let the tears fall when I need to and I'm pretty honest with those close to me. I've found that it also helps to give yourself grace, nobody elts can really do this for you. Be nice to yourself. Emotions are a gift, even when there a pain in the butt, they show us that we are truely alive. Take care, Judah

Hi, I hope I can help in some small way. My son is going to be 9 years old on June 13. I gave my son up right from birth. I've had no contact with him since I've left him in the hospital. I did however meet the people that adopted him. Every year when his birthday comes around I never know how I'm going to react. I know I did what was best for my son, but it doesn't change the fact that I miss him every day of my life. I was 18 years old when I had him and now almost all of my friends have kids so it is hard sometimes but I just remember that I know he is happy, loved and he has the life I was unable to give him. Sometimes I cry all day, but it's ok. I am very open about the fact that I had a son and that I gave him up for adoption, I have his birth pictures up in my house so I take comfort in that and I deal with it the best I can. I wish you all the best and I hope you find comfort and peace. You never know you may see her someday, that is another thing that gets me through. I know that day may never come but I also know that it could so I try to think about what I want my son to see when and if he ever does find me. Take care.