Placing 7 yr old son for adoption, help please

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am sure you have exhausted alternatives but have you tried support groups that are directly linked to parents of kids with A.S? The child abuse hotline is the number that someone would want to call if they wanted to get child welfare services involved but you have to specifically tell them that you want him removed from your care. Best wishes.

Many states have reinstituted the voluntary foster care placement act ... I'm not sure about Florida though ... being a danger to others (knife incident) I would think would have qualified him for treatment. Most states also have a CHIN or CHINs (Child in Need of Supervision or Services) Petition which can be filed either in family courts or juvenile services court which will activate the need for placement in a setting more capable of handling his needs. If you haven't tried this, please do ... the most love ever given a child is a parent's courage to get the treatment services when needed. Know you are not a failure (the process may make you feel that way before you are done). Our adoptive placement (placed at age 12 now age 14 is currently in a residential treatment center for similar behaviors and diagnoses and care and custody were recently returned to the state ... once you have checked with your state on where to begin, I'll be glad to offer any advice/direction I may be of help with ... if nothing more - know you are not alone ... until you have been in these shoes you don't know how important that sentence is. Keep us posted.

You guys have helped more than you know just knowing someone is out there. We've tried support groups, Kid's Peace Hospital, Mentor therapeutic foster care, everything. It's amazing that we've actually been told "he isn't bad enough" to remove or to place in residential care although he has an obsession with talking about cutting people up, killing, dying. He bites, scratches, punches. Even sprayed air freshener in mom's eyes the other day. Nothing is ever enough. We've been getting therapy and different types of help for 3 years now. The only changes occuring so far are his strength and weight. Meds do nothing for him. I'll check and see if the act is in place in Florida. Seems there is a lot NOT in place here. Thank you both so much for the hand out.

You might also try to access your own health insurance and see if they will cover residential treatment.... I hope things fall into place soon for your family this must be so difficult for you... Is it possible to get more respite Foster Care for him? I am not sure of your finances or if you have resources to help, but there are boarding situations like rediential treatment centers where parents pay 'tuition' my understanding is that it is not cheep... Otherwise you need to start documenting EVERYTHING and make a pain of yourself with the doctors, ER, police, DHS, and anyone with any power at all who might be able to interceed on your behalf. I have an Aunt who provides PRIVATE Foster Care meaning she takes in children with sever emotional and medical conditions from families who are not in the system and able to pay for her services.... I would keep calling all the time for help... Document every single call and every effort you make keep track of how hard you are trying to care for him and the things that happen.... Get the phone book and start calling EVERY phycologist and shrink listed. Report violence or threats of violence to child services... Go to your own doctor and get a health check--then ask for a referal for a doctor who can help you with some of YOUR issues.... you might want to get counseling started in order to have someone on your side in the event something does cause a shift and the system is interested for any reason in making you responsible...A good relationship with a therapists on your end of things can go a long way and anti-depressants can really help you think more clearly. If all else fails write, call, fax and email Opra, Dr Laura, Dr Phill and everyone else you can think of who is in the media and might become interested in this situation....Sometimes these people have the power to cause amazing things to happen in peoples lives.... You are talking about your little boy and as hard as this is you could very much regret letting him go forever after 7 years.... If there is ANYONE who can help you then beating a big drum and getting as much attention as you possibly can could open doors and provide you with some answers....

Also you do not have to go through the state toplace a child for adoption... You might start contacting churches and other organizations and letting people know that you have a little boy who needs a home and you are unable to meet his needs and that you would like him to have a family who can.... You could contact a private adoption agency and see if they know of or handle older children (there are some that do) and start legally looking for a family who would be interested in adopting him....

I, of course, jumped right in with logistics to get you started to let go of your child ... please know my heart is with you ... and there are ways - if you can get the right party or agency started on things - to get your child assistance while remaining a part of his life. If he goes under the care of others, that does not mean you have to give up ... you too just are getting assistance. Another avenue, although very painful, is through Child Protective Services. They'll fight you if you "self-report" but once you have had a rage or outburst where the child has threatened you - call them - identify that the child what the child is threatening you with and your concern that you will inflict harm on him while controlling him ... if they won't respond - get a friend or neighbor to do it ... believe me the investigation is hell but you need to get things started somewhere to get someone to understand the severity of the situation and you may have to take whatever steps are necessary to do that ... as always, the pain hurts the parents worse in some ways. Wordy again - yes that's me but hope this gives you more thoughts and remember through all the negatives ahead of you that you are doing it to help not hurt and if he were ever to hurt another or himself that would be even more painful. Always

...I am in Fl too, I have a kid on the spectrum too, if I knew what area you were in, I might be able to find out what is available to you??? Love & Light, Tee

This organization would be happy to help you. [url]www.chask.org[/url] They will let you get a break without 'giving up' your child just yet. Please email me at janetcostello@comcast.net if I can help you further.

I too have an child who is AS. He is trying some days and some days I cry myself to sleep but ARE you 100%sure you want to give him up? If he is adopted by someone else that means you will never know what happened to him and have no rights. Please look into respite care in your area. It can make a world of difference. There are organizations out there to help and keep your relationship with your child intact. Temporary foster care may be a solution and a case plan may help.