how to tell an older child hes adopted

I am so glad that you are going to tell him that he is adopted. Does your family know anyone else that is adopted? It might help him if he has someone to relate to. I would tell him how he joined your family and anything else he wants to know about. I would try to sound as positive as possible about the bparents. It really helped my girls to know that their bmom didn't know how to be a mom due to the way she was raised. One of my daughters couldn't understand why their biomom didn't protect them when they were molested. I just recently told them that their bmom was also molested as a child so that is why she didn't know what to do when it happened to them and they seemed to be relieved. It is hard for any child to think their parents did the things they did because they didn't love them and it is rarely true anyway. Alot of kids have issues, I wouldn't want hime to think any of his were from his bparents using drugs or alcohol because that would make him feel less than perfect and we all know our adopted children are perfect.:)