explaining suicide to kids

Hopefully someone can give you good advice but I just wanted to say I am so sorry! Hugs.

I'm so sorry - I didn't have to deal with that dual aspect as a child even though death was common to me. Death was dealt with matter of fact in our home but again, I didn't have your little ones reasons to link things together. No good answers I'm afraid. I'm sorry you lost your brother. Kind regards, Dickons

I was 11 when my mom's best friend committed suicide. I honestly don't remember how she told me, but I know she told me the truth. I still remember the night of the suicide as all the parents in the neighborhood tried to shield us from seeing the ambulance and police cars. The voice she used when she told me to stay in the bedroom and watch tv, well, that memory stayed to this day."Sometimes, when people are really sad they can't see that things will get better. We call it depression and it's an illness. Sometimes, the sadness gets so bad, that a person decides they don't want to be here anymore. It doesn't mean they don't love us, it just means they're in too much pain to face life anymore. That's why it's so important to talk to people when we're sad and let them know how we're feeling, so they can try to help us feel less sad."Depending on the age of the child, I would try something similar to that, you could change it for addiction.I'm so sorry for your loss. Regardless of why, it hurts. My experience is all with suicide. It's touched my life more times than it should have. I know that for me as a child, honesty, not too sugar coated but not brutal was always best combined with hope.You're in my thoughts. If there's anything we can do to help, feel free to pm me.

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

Wow-- I am so sorry this has happened and that you and your extended family are dealing with this--. This is really tough- how do you explain it to your kids and how do you explain it to his child? I don't know what to say but I do know it will have to be delicate and age appropriate. I would encourage them to talk about their Dad and Uncle as often as they want and encourage them to share happy memories of him. My Grand father passed about 4 years ago at age 93-- he was the center of our family so it was a huge loss for us all. In our family We make a point to speak his name and share memories of him often especially when we are all together --when you speak their name and remember them they are still alive ,even if it is only alive in your memories.

My aunt was murdered by her husband when I was six. The state ruled it a suicide by the family knows better. It was in the desert southwest and dad had to go down and help his folks. They brought my aunt's ashes back to our state and buried her, it was right around my birthday. There really weren't services or anything here. You know what I remember though? Is all the stuff the adults thought I wasn't hearing. I remember the discussions about how she was shot. How if it was suicide that wasn't how she would have done it. I remember the anger at her husband.I guess my point is, while I don't remember what was said directly to me, I sure remember what was said around me. The last thing I remember from when I was a kid was going to our state's department of criminal investigation to talk to a friend of my dad's about it. Now that I know more, a lot more makes sense. I'd talk about how people are sad and sometimes they are sick. Keep it age appropriate and think hard about what you are saying within earshot and remember that we have super hearing when we are kids.

So sorry about the loss of your brother (((HUGS))). Agree addictions suck!

Unfortunately, I have nothing to add but I'm so sorry for your loss!

Thanks everyone for the kind words and insights. I asked J is she knew what the word, suicide meant.. as well as the word overdose. we talked about the meaning She's such a smart kid. Her first question - why would anyone do that to themselves? I had no good answer. I wish I did.

So very sorry for your loss. Addiction is so horrible. (((hugs)))

(((((Wcurry))))) No advice here, but I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am for the loss of your brother. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I had a signficant other commit suicide many years ago, and I was so devastated. One thing that helped was joining a survivors of suicide group that was run by the police department's chaplain. We met once a month, and it helped me greatly to be among others who were going through the same complicated grief process I was.

I'm so sorry for your loss. No BTDT but in keeping what belleinblue said: kids hear alot. and kids in the system tend to be hypervigilant.

Since you are not absolutely sure how your brother died, I'd honestly say that. My son died by suicide in Dec 2011. The little children were told that he had a sickness-because he did-and that he died. When they are older, if they have questions, we will tell them more. My 8 year old grandson asked me over the summer why R died and I told him, he didn't want to be here anymore. He asked me if he killed himself and I told him yes. Death is hard for kids to understand. Suicide is hard for adults to understand as there are a thousands questions why and a thousand answer and no answers all at the same time. I'm sorry about your brother.

Wcurry - I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. I also have no words of wisdom but this group has always been a support system for me and I truly FEEL it when something bad happens to anyone here. You and your family will be in my prayers!