millie58

It didn 't happen to me but to a good friend of mine. The man she thought was her bf wasn't; bf's daughter did a DNA test and my friend found out that way. a couple of factors: the "new" sibling lost out on the chance to grow up with her birth father and it's not her fault. You missed out growing up with her. Reach out to her; your father's family may embrace her or they may not. It's on them. My friend just met her father and he's 80. She talks to one surviving uncle. She talks to one sister and one brother; the other sister and brother are having a hard time but we're not sure why. There wasn't an affair.

4 years and TPR is just now being filed?? I wouldn't think bio parent(s) have a leg to stand on after 4 years...... Good luck!

You say you're brand new. Did your agency teach you about trauma, loss and PTSD in foster kids? Mine did not; everything I know I learned from this website (the earlier incarnation). Was she in therapy? The SW should have done that first. From the foster child's mind, you're another set of adults who have given up on her.. You don't say how old she is but I'm betting you're not her first foster home. It's tough; the SW should have been honest. Not saying you're wrong but with a kid who's had the loss of birth family (no matter how bad) and the loss of foster families (they usually bond with the foster family), foster kids are going to make things a struggle. I say that as a single parent of 4 fost/adoptive sons. Love is not enough.

Are you foster/adopting? If you're hoping to adopt, rights of both bio parents have to be terminated.

In NY, anyone over 18 would have to have a background check and be fingerprinted.

Is this an infant adoption? Ask about health issues and concerns.

No. What people don't realize is that with adoption, there's very little time to connect before you bring them home. A pregnant woman has 9 months. With adoption, the connection will come when they're with you. But it's not weird.

If you planned to foster, my question is why wouldn't you expect behavioral problems? Kids are taken from the only home they've known and put with strangers. Also, it's quite possible the caseworkers don't know if a child is autistic or not... Not tp put you down but what did you think would happen?

What do you know of her history? If she had multiple placements, there's a lot of trauma going on. Is she in any type of therapy?As to where to turn: Try either the agency that you used or the court. Also, an adoption attorney may be able to help you.