matthew martin your mother is looking

Hello Anita I am delighted to hear that you have reunited with your son! From your registration I see that you began searching in 2004. I was surprised to come across your profile and see no mention of reunion. Your profile suggests that your suffering has never ended and there is something lacking or missing in you as a woman. By God girl, it's the year 2010! Update your profile or delete it! Haven't you yet realized that you cannot compete with your past when it is available for everyone to see through search engines generated by Internet crawlers? Don't you realize the importance of a "family" name? Are you really that insensitive to how your children and family must feel when they see adoption posts and searches attached to your name from the year 2004? How do you expect to ever go forward using your family name as you do without suffering the embarrassment of once being a "birth mother". You continue to deliver the expectations of others to the denial of yourself. What? You were "banned" and can't update or delete your profile? Why were you "banned" from Adoption.com Forum, the largest multi-triad adoption forum on the Internet? You were consoling children who were searching for their natural mothers. That certainly doesn't seem appropriate on a forum where all persons involved in the triad of adoption are welcome. Why can't your account be deleted by the management if your posts were unwelcome. The "ban" comes without notice, explanation, any further response, nor communication. When signing up to participate in the forum, it is made clear that once an account is created it cannot be deleted. I have finally come to understand that the wording should be "will not" be deleted. Every forum administrator has the ability to delete a members account. I am sure you know this as well as anybody who has used a forum on a computer does. How are you able to move forward in your life with the mentions of your past being more prevalent than your existence on the Internet highway? I have found after repeated attempts that I can't. I am often prone to resort to aliases when I have once again been discovered by those who would like to think my life is only a gift to others that anyone can freely take. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you, your children, your family, and your friends to put the past behind them and enjoy a new beginning with you when your character is always in question due to forum posts which were made seven years ago. Even the credit reporting agencies do not keep derogatory information that could harm a persons potential for a new beginning past seven years. Maybe the forum just wants to have higher ratings in the search engines. Maybe it is simply because they need the membership numbers to gain potential advertisers. Maybe, just maybe, the cries of a mother for her child are really not welcome in an atmosphere where money is generated from providing children to love and be cared about, for a price. It seems to me that you, Anita, are paying the price, and the advertisement fee of Adoption.com Forum, the largest multi-triad forum on the Internet, must be huge to the organization in comparison to the loss you have suffered. The worst part of the obscenity is that those who are searching as you were must be the most forthright about their identity so that they may easily be found. Being banned from what first appears to be a life supporting organization must be agonizing when searching for a child. Aren't things already difficult enough for one in such a predicament? Imagine what it will be like for an adopted child to learn that he or she was shopped around for 10 years earlier on a forum, by the curious classmates who are always searching for clues and answers to each others identities. From what I can see nothing about Adoption.com forums inability to delete an account is in any member of the triads best interest. Any forum that retains a users account for the purpose of longevity and monetary gain is only self serving. Don't ignore the warning. Members should remove "all" of their personal information while they still can, unless of course, they are prepared to explain their past to anyone and everyone they meet in the future. If not for yourself, do it for your child. Anita Pribik, before I get banned too, what have you learned from sharing your experience at the Adoption.com Forum, the largest multi-triad adoption forum on the Internet? The oppression of the unwed mother is capitalized on before and after the birth of her child to the point of her nonexistence even unto reunion making her painful past an ever present reality, in that even though she may survive the experience, she may never live with the fullness and richness of those whom have gained what she herself has lost. For how can anyone give back even a little piece of what she gave without taking away from themselves. Everybody is entitled to a new beginning at least once in their lifetime, as those who desire a child more than anything in the world would know. For the unwed mother who chooses to remain unwed after the birth of her child and through the remainder of her lifetime reunion may be the only summit she shall ever reach, for the oppression she felt at the beginning of her experience manifests itself at the end leaving no more promise nor hope for the life she lost and struggled to find. The search is all that remains for her in the minds of those who would not have her find. Thank You MarbleBalls :wings: