Overwhelmed In Md

Hi there, We are from BC Canada but have adopted once from MD and are waiting for the arrival of number 2 also from MD. We chose to adopt from your state because of the similar laws you have to ours here in BC. You can go out of state but each states laws are different regarding revocation period, birth mother support etc. In MD, it is against the law to be expected to pay birth mother supports costs such as housing, food etc. So when you are with an agency the cost if virtually what they tell you up front. Also the revocation period is 30 days which means that once the birthmother signs consent, she has 30 days to revoke her decision. That is a long time for some people because in some states it is a little as 48 hours. PM me if you would like anymore info. I would love to help you out. What city are you in?

[Edited To Remove Agency/Facilitator/fee based services Recommendations or comments] Please remember that comments about agencies or other fee based services made after 2/10/2004 MUST be made via Private Message. Maryland is a difficult state to adopt from ... from an age standpoint of the child - they attempt extra reunification plans before actually terminating rights (which is good but) ... thus the child is 6 or older ... and often foster parents adopt them. If you choose to adopt out of state they also are fantastic with ICPC interactions and approvals. Go for it ... keep us posted.

I would suggest taking an informational class on adoption. There are so many types of adoptions - private/public, domestic/international, independent/agency, etc. We took a class with FACE ([url]http://www.faceadoptioninfo.org/[/url]) in Towson and it was extremely helpful to help us sort out the similarities and differences between all of the options. Some agencies offer classes also, but they may not be as comprehensive (they probably only include info on the types of adoptions that they handle.) Dianne A Ellicott City, MD

If I'm reading this correctly you haven't yet decided how you're going to pursue your adoption plan - international, domestic parental placement, domestic waiting child/foster care, correct? If so, then you'll want to ask yourselves these kinds of questions: 1. How important is it that your child share your ethnic heritage? 2. How important is it that your child be a newborn at time of placement? 3. How willing/able are you to travel with or without notice? 4. How much are you ready to spend in fees and costs? 5. How confident do you feel parenting a child who may have been exposed to abuse, neglect or institutionalization, known or unknown at time of placement? 6. How comfortable are you sharing your beliefs, values and lifestye with those you don't know well? HTH Regina

I agree there are lots of questions to ask and there is a lot of info on all types of adoptions...Sorting thru can be daunting, but sort you must! I agree that the above questions are a good place to start. Also calling agencies to see what kinds of classes there are, or even just info available. You can learn a lot by reading. I used the library! Knowledge is power in this process and you need to make some "base" decisions before moving forward. All the best to you!

My husband and I are also in the VERY VERY beginnings of the adoption process. We have done most of our research on the internet and requesting information for as many sources as posible. We have narrowed down to 2 agency/services at the moment. Although, we have many of the other's information on had for relevant tips and advice. We plan to go to local informational meetings after the holidays. What we have found to be our very best sources so far is getting the word out that we are planning to adopt. We tell family and friends (who invariably know someone who as adopted), churches are wonderful and very opened to discussing the issues. Even our new neighbors have friends who have recently adopted from Russia! It's amazing how we now seem surrounded by wonderful friends that we had no idea existed before! So, best of luck and keep networking. Learn as much as you possibly can! We already have a file drawer designated for our adoption info. I also have a list of great sources if you want to pm me.:)

If you feel overwhelmed, try to take a deep breath and slow down. There's no need to rush. Your body and mind are telling you they're being pushed a bit too fast. It takes time to absorb new information, especially information that's fraught with such emotion. Try to sit with it for a while ... sleep on it ... dream on it. When you feel calmer, move forward. Repeat above steps as needed (!).

We live in MD --- we have an agency here that did our homestudy and will do our post placement reports..they are excellant....so if you want a recommendation feel free to email me.howeverafter lots of research and recommendations from other people...we decided to go with an agency in GA. One of the main reasons was the birth parent surrender time frame. I believe in MD, the wait is 30days...in GA the change mind is only 10days. We had to stay in GA during this time frame plus waiting for the interstate compact to go through --- but ours went very quickly. We actually took direct placement from the hospital rather that having him go to foster care during the wait period. Risky choice emotionally --- but didn't regret it. We took surrenders on 11/7 annd were able to leave the state with him on 11/18. tcreager98@hotmail.com

Congratulations! What a happy outcome. The quick timeframe you describe is remarkable. How were you selected for this adoption? By the birthmother? I'm pursuing international adoption, not domestic, so I don't know these things.

yeysk, Malcolm turely was our miracle...Once we had the official letter of approval from our GA agency, we overnighted our family album to them. They showed our book to a few birthmothers. Our birthmother said she chose us out of 10 albums she had seen. Because you are adopting internationally, advice I had received was to use an agency locally, particullarly when it comes to getting last minute paperwork to them. You can literally drop time sensitive documents off and hand them directly over. Also --- get lots of references!!! I called 6 agencies. The web was helpful...but nothing says more about how they will treat you then if you visit their office or call them. There are some agencies that after a first phone call I knew there was no way I wanted to work with them. Suburbanmomgw, who responded above, can give you great insight into the international process, as well as practical advice ...she was very helpful for us. She was our own little advisory angel.

petlovers... how are things going?? still need any help?? mandy