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I'm sure glad that I found this forum. I thought we were the oldest couple(50 years old) in the world to adopt an infant. We've had nickie in our home since he was 1 week old and he is now 4 months old. We should start our homestudy next week (our lawyer said that it takes about 3 weeks to process) so hopefully by November the adoption will be done. I sure hope so. I have 3 children that are bio-2 girls and 1 boy---33, 29 & 26. and 3 grandchildren--7 year old grandson and two 3 year old grandaughters. My husband and I had taken his father out to eat about 2 weeks ago and we of course had the baby with us. We had just sat down when the waitress came over and said to Nickie (the baby)" Is grandma showing off her pretty grandbaby" I was in shock and of course my husband thought it was funny!-I told her no that I was his momma--then it was her turn to look shocked--of course I explained that we were adopting him and then she said that she had been trying to adopt for several years but no luck. After that she wished us luck and told nickie that he was lucky to have us but we are the lucky ones. One other thing before that night was over my husband was mistaken for nickie's grandpa--A guy in Walmart's parking lot was waiting for my husband to come from behind his car so he could pull out and of course he was carrying the baby and the guy leaned out the window and said you must be a proud grandpa. Of course my husband didn't answer because he just figured the guy was drunk and couldn't see since it was getting dark(at least that is what he said to me). Anyway, here is one more story of mistaken identity.
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I certainly do agree with you that having children this 'late in life'.....is a big plus to our patience and our 'youthful image'. Dh and I are told many times that we do not look our age of 47 yrs. (I think we look younger too.)
In re your questions about children from China.......I have heard the same thing too. Have you considered a child from Haiti? I'm told age is not as big a factor. I will say, though...that we had strongly considered going through Americans for African Adoptions...to get an infant.
Though the director tried, the countries they work with would not allow us to have an infant....but only a child over the age of 5yrs. Not what we were wanting. We ended up going through a private agency for an AA baby. Over the last three years, we have adopted two. We now have four children at home (seven altogether...all adopted)......and to tell you the truth----I think I could do this again! (Though, dh isn't so convinced....... :( )
Best of luck with your search!
Sincerely,
Linny
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Hey, I am 54 and hubby is 48!!! But I am a young 50's the world thinks i am 40... been trying to adopt since 1999! I was in my mid 40's at that time.
Would LOVE a list of agencies, Bettridge@ameritech.net
Thanks
Ok Guys,
Now you can all feel better. I am 55 (56 next week) and my husband was 56 in Sept. We are in processs of adopting a 2 year old from Guatemala and are in the final stages. We have 10 bio children, 7 grandchildren but we love kids We are ready and waiting for our daughter. (Guatemala is in real political/adoption apheaval right now)
We see there are needy kids who need love of a family. We desire to give that to a child and(lo and behold) here we are. Sometimes I struggle with the age thing but as a friend of mine said "WE have always been "pace-setters"!"
God bless...
deb
I was 39 and my wife was 49 when get adopted our first. We now have 2 and are waiting for a thrid. We had a placement fail in January.I think adopting older is better. It keeps us younger and we are better set to care for the kids.I have only received the Grandpa comment once. However, my DW has received it several times. At the Zoo, someone revered to my DW as 'Grandma' to my elderest. He immediately corrected them as said that is my Mommy! Shut that person up quick.
You know what I've found? After a few years, people stop making that mistake. My daughter is now almost 5; I'm 52 and dadman is 60. We are never called Grandma and Grandpa anymore, although it happened more than once in the beginning. I think we look more like parents now and interact more like parents than we did when the shock and awe was still upon us. Maybe it's just how frazzled we look after surviving the toddler and pre-school years! DeeCee, the Momlady :hippie:
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mommy_again
I am 55 (56 next week) and my husband was 56 in Sept. We are in processs of adopting a 2 year old from Guatemala...
We're ALL "overwhelmed at times." I'm im my 50's, DH is 10 years younger, we have 4 adopted (and 4 from my previous marriage, all adults) and 6 grandchildren. You know what? I don't feel HALF as overwhelmed as these young mothers that I see at the mall or elsewhere who can't handle one child with the grace and confidence that I handle 4. As to Joe's comment about people trying to teach him to add -- how ignorant would a person have to be to lay a comment like that on someone? I'd answer just the way you said it here, that you took addition in second grade but thanks for the refresher course!!!
My husband is 52 and I am 51 (for a few more weeks anyway:rolleyes:) and we are not so patiently waiting on our referral of our new baby daughter from Vietnam. I had to laugh at the "do you know you'll be 71 when she's 18" comment. My doctor refused to sign off on my physical because after all I would be 70 when our child turned 18. To say the least I found a new doctor. The funny thing is, she had absolutely no problelm signing my husband's paperwork. I guess it must be OK to be an older Dad. Of course my husband has also gotten the "way to go stud" comment when he announced he was going to be a Daddy again. Of course he thought is was hilarious....You have to wonder sometimes if people leave their brains at home;).Lucinda:flowergift:
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You know what? In response to the 'do you know you'll be 70 when they're 18yrs old?' comment.....I thought about this last night. Tell them:
"Yes, we've done the math. We planned it this way because we know we've experienced and know so much more than parents who are younger than us?---and we wanted to assure our child/ren we were giving them the best set of parents ever!'
I think that oughta shut 'em up! Whaddaya think? LOL
Sincerely,
Linny---who just turned 50 with dh and loving the raising babies thing.
well we got everyone beat so far I am 56 and hubby 65 we are adopting from fostercare been aproved sense 11/22/2006 still waiting for a child age2-12yo hope for a girl most people say we are crazy this is your retirement years well I am not ready for the old rocker and children keep you young and alive they are little blessings from god...........
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I'm adopting from foster, and he couldn't have been a better match. We have exactly the same personality, and a number of people have even told me he looks like me (he's AA and I'm caucasion!)
I know it differs from state to state, but my state (unfortunately) is pretty much ground zero for foster care. My requirements were from 0-2, so they put me on the list for border babies. The week after I got him they asked me if I wanted a 9 week old baby girl who was probably going to go to TPR. They never questioned my age.
Is that Ethiopia? I had considered that country because I thought they were more flexible.
Mary
I will say, though...that we had strongly considered going through Americans for African Adoptions...to get an infant.
Though the director tried, the countries they work with would not allow us to have an infant....but only a child over the age of 5yrs.
Just chiming in here too........we had also considered working with Americans for African Adoptions too....and encountered the same problem in being too old for a newborn or infant (under 12 months). This agency works with several groups throughout Africa, and---just as the other poster spoke of-----even though the agency tried, no group would allow us being older parents.
I'm told though, that there are other agencies who'll allow older parents, but I don't have info on them personally. (Check the agency listings on this site....that may help?)
But, consider that many domestic agencies will work with older couples and situations can still be found with fees that aren't sky high. It takes some research and some waiting, perhaps, but they can be found.
Sincerely,
Linny