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Shana tova!
While Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur always have deep meaning for me, I have to say that this year there is something different as I wait to become a parent. I'm still early in the process, but if all goes well my husband and I should be bringing our child home from Guatemala sometime next summer. So at the beginning of RH services I found myself thinking that this will (hopefully) be my last year of Holy Days without my someday-child.
And listening to the haftorah about Hannah -- a story I have always loved -- took on a whole new meaning. It left me with a feeling that I really can't quite describe, other than to say that there was a kind of joy and anticipation that I haven't ever felt before. And there was that sense of time collapsing (I know there's a Hebrew phrase for that, but don't remember what it is), as if it wasn't just a story from long ago but rather that Hannah was uttering her prayer right now. Because adoption for us was a choice we made before it became medically the only option we had for raising a child, my experience isn't the same as Hannah's. But still, I understand her longing.
I don't suppose there's really a question in this post or anything to reply to. I just thought I would share this with people who might have had a similar experience.
Thanks,
Devora
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Shana tova.
The story of Hannah has also had deeper meaning to me since I became a mother. And, though I don't talk about it much, it was a prayer I silently made during the High Holy Days to change my husband's mind about parenthood that I believe led us on this journey.
And, although I really hate fasting, Yom Kippur gains more meaning to me as I ponder my sins against people (and make apologies) and sins against G-d. I love the Kol Nidre service especially.
Best wishes in you journey to parenthood.
Last year on Rosh Hashana, our rabbi's father, also a rabbi, spoke about our children and how they look back on their connections to family. My partner and I both started crying in the middle of the service as we had started that bumpy road of AI. This year, while I sang in the choir, I looked out to see our foster son sitting on my partner's lap. It really is amazing what can happen in a year, and then it seems like it happened so fast.
Those of you waiting will be there soon. Good luck and a good new year to us all.