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I am in the process of adopting an unborn infant. My husband and I are in the middle of our homestudy. Well two weeks ago a young woman contacted us about adopting her baby. We were not initially thinking about parental placement adoption. We talked with her and her family about the adoption. She agreed that this was the decision she wanted to make. As a matter of fact her family has been trying to discourage her from the adoption but she is 9 months pregnant and from the beginning she has stated that this is what she wanted to do. They begin supporting that decision and are even happy that we have agreed to adopt the baby because we know some of the family members. The birthmother and I have been talking every couple of days and the baby is due on Oct. 18. I talked to her on Friday and asked her was she sure (because people are preparing to give me baby showers) she says yes, start preparing for the baby. I tried callling her on Saturday and left a message, she never returned my call. I called last night and she hasnt returned my calls. I dont know what to think. I hope she is just reflecting and doesnt want me to invade that time. I have papers signed by her physician so that I can get off of work. I need for her to contact my agency. I dont know what to do. I want to know if she has changed her mind or if she is just trying to deal with the whole situation. I dont know what my next move should be. I dont want to continue to blow the telephone up if she doesnt want to talk to me. Does anyone have any insite or suggestions
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Take a breath. Spa day??? Do something/anything to pass the time. Did you leave a message? If you did, wait... I know its tough, but calling over and over will just make you seem crazy. If its been a couple weeks (14 days) and no call, then I would call and ask if she's changed her mind, (cuz in your spot by then I would also have no hair!) I think 2 weeks without contact can be very stressful, but it would give her enough time to know that she's changed her mind if she is thinking about it (although she really can at any moment even after birth and you take him/her home) But she may just be reflecting her choice, getting some sleep, ect. Calling and asking that while she is thinking about it may cause her to just say yeah, she's changed her mind, when she really may be unsure.
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Also she can continue the adoption plan and your agency can get involved after the birth if that's what she wants (you really only need someone to do paperwork/ legal stuff).
I would let her rest, and have some time to herself without this decision looming over her. She should be going to the Dr once a week now though so if you call again, just ask how the Dr visit went & how she's feeling before anything else.
Good luck
Maia
Wonderfully!!!!
I now have a 1 month old son. ;)
I actually gave her space and just bite my nails. Her labor had to be induced and she called to let me know the day that she would be induced. I participated in the birth and even stayed with her in the room until she went home. It was a very humbling experience and I am so thankful that everything worked out as well as it did. Im blessed.
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