Advertisements
I'll try to be brief - but it's not my nature. I'm in the process of adopting a child who turned 14 in September. She's currently at a therapeutic residence and she comes to our house weekends if her behavior has been acceptable and she earns it. I was also allowed to take her on vacation in the summer for about a week. We're very compatible and things are going well. I participate in family therapy every other week.
The therapist said she needed some "closure" with her birth Mom. Correspondence the bmom had sent over the years was forwarded to her therapist and given to my child last week. She has drafted a letter to bmom but hasn't asked for it to be mailed yet.
Bmom was just released from prison. The hearing to terminate her parental rights on my daughter's twin half brothers (age about 18 months) is to be tomorrow at 3:30 p.m. I told their amom that I would be happy to attend in support if she would like. Previously two hearings were cancelled because the state hadn't done it's job. Bmom was notified while in jail about the hearing.
Bmom signed over her parental rights for my daughter when she was 8 years old. She was adopted for two years by distant relatives and that adoption was terminated. She subsequently had a failed adoption after 2 months.
Bmom has history of addiction and her longest recovery period to date is 6 months. She appears to love all her children and take responsibility for her addiction. I am in recovery 16 years, one day at a time. I do not judge and am open to my daughter having a relationship w/bmom if it can be done under "safe" conditions. My child knows this and knows that it is never too late for someone to "get sober." She is learning about addiction by attending open meetings with me when she is here, and she likes those meetings.
Bmom's pattern is that she will get out of jail, stay sober a brief time and then relapse and go underground. The state had planned to approach bmom after the hearing tomorrow to see if she is receptive to a face-to-face meeting with her daughter.
I've been tempted to introduce myself to bmom to let her know her daughter is alive and well and loves her very much. I have anxiety she will disappear before a meeting between the two can be arranged. And I don't know what is best for the child or the bmom.
Advice requested from those in a position to help! I can be a little intense and am probably thinking this to death. Will check in on forum later tonight after running errands!
Thanks!
E. J. (yes - i go by that!)
Like
Share