I came here looking for support, and got 1 response!

I also looked at your post, and I didnt know what it was, so I assumed I should not respond. I hope the holiday gets easier for you as time passes.

Dear joy38,Some times not everyone has good, positive support to give at times or maybe the vass majority are just like you and need support themselves. So please try to have patients while waiting for some to respond with guidence. My name is jules B and if you have some questions I would be more than willing to see if I could give you some helpful hints or an uplifting word. email me at ja12201966@yahoo.com I am an adoptee, 39 yrs old and have seen a whole lot of life and what it has to offer. But like the little engine that could, I think I can. That is what is going to make a difference in my life right now. Trying to stay focused on the glass being half full is about all I can do some times. I hope you find the support you are looking for. Best Wishes,jules B

Hi Joy, I just joined this forum and realize your post is an older one but had to respond. One of my dearest friends is a survivor of sra and I completely understand your difficulty with certain times of the year. Please feel free to email me or pm me if you need some support at any time. I can only offer understanding based on what my friend shared with me over the course of several years, and what we experienced together. There is a level of trust that she has with me that is uncommon for her in general. She has mpd and I had always just accepted each as their own personhood and related to each as an individual. She too, has trouble "putting the past behind her". No one can understand the absolute horror you were subjected to and that you live in the shadow of even today. But, as many have posted here to encourage you, Christ has overcome the evil one and, although we still live in a world that seems overrun with corruption and infliction of pain, there are many good people out here who mean no harm. There are many who live to reflect the love of God to a hurting world. And, there are many, just like you, who have been so abused that it must be difficult to know who to trust and that includes trusting in Christ. The worst abuse is the lies you were told from your earliest remembrance that what is meant to be for your good is evil. I say to you, Christ has lived it all, suffered through all of it, and more, to set you free. Do not believe the lies, rather, place your trust in Him, He will never leave you nor forsake you. If you trust no one else, trust in Christ with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Enough for now, dear one, take good care of yourself and know that there are some out here who know and care. I am deeply troubled by the common misconceptions others have of your experience. Please know that I know.

I know how you feel..it is like you just want to find the perfect words to get at least a few responses and they never seem to come... but we all need to realize that this is a big site and doesn't only deal with our side of it. it is hard for people sometimes to get to your post thru the 1000's they have here. Hold on, we are here...don't leave.. you can always talk to me, it may take me a day or so to get back but I am not going anywhere... babygirl66@werethelost.com email me or go to the site and contact me [url=http://www.werethelost.com]Home[/url]

I am so sorry for what you have endured. You are brave to reach out. The internet is tricky in that way. I know I poured my heart out one night with a post and got zero response also. I, too, felt hurt. I think sometimes it could be that the post would have engaged people in a different forum on the site, or just that maybe sometimes people don't know what to say and figure someone else who does have the right thing to say will say something magically and "right." Maybe our own fear of saying something inadequate could make it hard to respond at times. Much peace to you.

Joy, I find myself in the same boat. I posted something today about my first brother dying, and did i get a responce? Out of the twenty+ people who looked at it? No. I'm sorry they ignored you too. My sympathies for your situation. Feel free to PM me if you want to, I'll listen, even though it seems a whole world of adoptees is choosing to ignore us.

Can you tell me a little about your situation? I am a 51 year old female looking for my birthfamily. There seems to be no one to talk to that understands the feelings an adoptee has. Talk to me. I understand.

kyg..you may want to come to the chat room sometime.. there is wonderful support there. I FINALLY found other adoptees who really understood what that feels like...and I found that I was not alone in what I felt. Hope to see you there soon..sal

Joy, I am just now reading your original post for the first time and so sorry to hear about the struggles you have faced. I am not familiar with SRA except what I have just read about it online but do know any kind of abuse is terrifying. I hope you will continue to come here for support whenever needed.... there are a lot of great people here. (((((((((((((( Joy ))))))))))))) Hugs to you!!!

THIS IS MY FIRST DAY AND I AM CONFUSED TO YOUR ORIGIONAL POST DUE TO THIS ONE DOES NOT SHOW THE ORIGINAL BUT MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU WE HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR MY HUSBANDS BIRTH PARENTS FOR SOME TIME NOW ONLY TO SPEND MONEY AND COME TO DEAD ENDS

Maybe you should try "Search Angels." I used a search angel from Central Illinois. A search angel is a member of the adoption triad that lives in the state where you were born and actually helps you search. They go through court house files, census records, archieves, etc. They essentially do the legwork for you. Most times it is completely free, they may charge for gas or copy fees. My search was completely free even though I offered to pay expenses. They found my birthmother along with 1 brother and 3 sisters in 6 weeks. They are awesome. Google the word search angel, for example you might say, " search angel in illinois." I hope this helps. Good luck with your search.

i know its hard but some way some how you need to block that out, put it behind you and find a happy place. none of us know how long we are gonna live, when we are gonna die . but if you were to find out that you had one week to live, would you want to spend it like this?dont wait till your 60, 70 ,80 and realize that "lifes to short to live the same day twice" dont be one of those people that are old and gray saying if i only knew then what i know now or if i had it to do all over again oh how i would do it different. you only live once. live it to the fullest. live life dont let life live you! my lifes been anything but perfect. whatever could go wrong , has !but not no more i want to be happy for once and im headed that way. hope you find that happy place too.

Just read your post Joy, sorry for the hard time you are having. Until 3 years ago I wouldn't have had a clue what you were talking about, but then I took in a teen relative whose mom & stepdad were involved in some bizarre things. We began having some very serious issues with him, and the further I dug trying to help him, the deeper the you-know-what got. I did a lot of research on the subject and was absolutely shocked on what I learned, how widespread this is, and how horrific the abuse actually is, also how difficult to get away. I praise God you did get away! I will add your name to my daily prayers, and I hope you are doing ok and growing stronger each day. You know, since learning what I did, I have been talking to people about these things, many-if not most- react to me as if I'm crazy or a weirdo. They just don't know, and seem like they don't want to consider this as real. So they ignore it or blow it off. But I know it's real, and it's far more widespread than most people have a clue, and it's growing bigger everyday. Do you know anyone else in your situation? I hope you have found someone supportive by now who does understand. I'll be happy to talk/respond with you anytime. Be strong. "Greater is He that is in me than he who is in this world".

Joy, i was not aware of your post and since having come upon it , do not pretend to understand of where you come from in your journey. most people, like myself have NEVER heard of such abuse, and especially here at a.com, where most of us are brought together by our LOVE of our children. One cannot follow the path you have followed...unless they have actually walked the SAME path theirselves. I am however very sorry that you have indeed lived this sad and humiliating abuse ...by people we are to trust and admire . I am so so sorry for what you have endured, and hope you will understand, that what you speak of is not a concept WE can begin to understand...however I know I can speak for all here at a.com, we are here for you and will be here to listen when you need someone to hear! We may not be able to take away what abuses you have endured, but we can help ease some of the pain you are left with. Are you in counceling for the specific type of abuse you have lived with? I do think this is of the UTMOST importance. For this type of abuse will and does require ongoing treatments with specific therapies of which any person dealing with SRA would need. My heart feels so deeply for you and I can offer you the biggest HUG ever...Please come and share what you can, when you can....most will not be able to help you if you do not let us know what you can about your specific ordeal. But only do so ON your timetable , along with professional guidance. We are here...do not go away!:grouphug:

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