adoption options

I don't know what your best option would be, however, my dh and I are both 43 and we are adopting our foster children (3 and 2). I don't know anything about international adoptions or their rules/requirements on age, etc. We had gone thru the classes to solely adopt and decided to also do foster care. It has been a very rewarding experience for us! Even after our adoptions we will continue to be foster parents. There is a HUGE need here in the states for good homes for our kids, I would urge you to really consider this type of adoption. Michelle

I am also over 40 (although my husband isn't - I robbed the cradle). We adopted through the foster system. We didn't want to start with a baby and we felt this was our best option. Our daughter will turn 8 next month, but she was 6 when placed with us. Also, we have older children and felt that we were experienced parents and able to help a child with special needs. Its been wonderful for us.

Woohoo, Lorraine! Anyway, Linda... I guess this depends on what you're comfortable with. Int'l adoptions cost more. Domestic can be expensive if you're pursuing strictly CC... Although having a partially Asian family, I doubt you're crazed for CC only. Sadly, little AA babies are hard to place and "cost less." Fostering is virtually cost free, but you'll probably have older kids with some issues. It's your choice!

I really believe that if you stop and imagine your situation and future child, you'll have an idea of the baby/child YOU need and the situations you can handle. Also, do read a lot both in books and on-line (which you maybe have already done?) so you get an idea of the waiting time, preparation and paperwork involved. Each of the adoptions you've talked about involve varying steps for you to deal with -- and it's so much less conflicting emotionally if you are more on board for one option or another! For example, some parents can only imagine a child or a toddler but I knew our next child (3rd child, 2nd adoption) had to be a newborn. I'm willing to hold out until the right birthmother finds us -- and even if the wait is longer (ohhhhh I'll deal with it), I'm more patient because we trust the agency/process we're working with and because I know our baby needs to be a newborn. I'm your age, but am willing to wait and willing to enjoy the sleep deprivation of babyhood! All the best to you as you sort out your dreams for your next child -- and don't give up!

I know that Guatemala has no maximum age limit so you and your hubby would qualify. I am currently in the last stages of my adoption process for a wonderful boy from Guatemala. The children are very healthy, they stay in private care, and the stay in the country is only 3 days to finalize. I am not sure about other programs or options but wish you best of luck!

Hey Linda! Good to see you on this board too! My hubby and I are both 47yrs old....and our seventh child is now almost 18 months. Our oldest just turned 24yrs! We've adopted internationally, through the foster care system (three of the seven), and the last two have been through a private agency, transracially. In our experiences, we would not adopt through the foster system again...but as others have said, it is a matter of personal choice. True, there are some limitations on age with many of the international adoptions. (We wanted to go through Americans For African Adoptions....but the country would not allow us to have an infant...which is what we really wanted.) Also, there are a lot of 'good and bad' agencies in this country. It pays to do your 'homework'. Best of luck in whatever avenue you choose to pursue. Sincerely, Linny

It really depends on what you vision your family to be. Do you want an infant? Do you want an older child? If you want an infant, than domestic adoption is the best route. If you want an older child, then foster care is a GREAT option because it is virtually free. Also, international adoption ranges with their requirements, but I am sure you can find the age group that suites your needs. Good luck to you.