Advertisements
She will be one in the blink of an eye. One. One? One. One year gone. One year of life without her. Oh yes, I see her. We visit. I get slews of pictures. But it's one year of knowing that she will never call me Mom.
I will be at her birthday party, held the day before her actual birthday. On a Sunday. Then, she and her Mom will come home with me, back to Ohio, to do the last full swing week before my wedding, which is the following Saturday. (Her Mom is one of my bridesmaids.)
Frankly, I'm glad that Josh and I decided on a December wedding. I will be so busy by that point (minus the seven hour drive TO the party during which my mind will wander...) that I won't have time to be sad. Or, so I hope.
So, to those who went to your birthchild's first birthday party, how did it go? Do share. It's not as though we are strangers. I know most of the people, though none of the adoptive parents' friends. I worry that I will be looked upon as that "bad girl." I know that's semi-unrealistic, but we all know it's not totally off base.
Can someone give me advice on how to handle myself for this event? What to do? What to say? What if they acknowledge me in front of everyone as Munchkin's Birthmother? Do I smile and just say hello, even though my inards will twist and turn? Guh. This makes me so ill.
Like
Share
Advertisements
It was freaking horrible.
I can't post a darned picture because not one person thought or asked to take a picture of the two of us together. I would have left (in tears) had I had a car at the party. I am never a part of her memories and now one big one that I was there for... we have no proof of. I am hurt. Deeply.
And I was ignored by everyone but J, D, and D's parents. Nice. I don't mean they were casual and cool; I mean they were downright freaking rude and ignored the heck out of me.
Way cool.
I'm never, ever going without Josh ever ever again. I called him (from outside) (in tears) twice. Lovely. Bah.
Jenna,
That is absolutely horrid that you were treated that way. If my family or friends ever treated my daughter's Birth Mother like that they would have hell to pay from me. I love taking pictures of my daughter with her Birth Family. I think it is so important. My daughter's Birth Mother has just as much right, if not more, than anybody else to be in my home feel comfortable there.
I hope that your next week with your daughter's family will go much better than the birthday. Hopefully you will have some opportunities for pictures and memory making time.
Good luck with your wedding. It sounds like it will be wonderful.
Advertisements
Jenna, ((((((HUGS))))))
I'm sorry it turned out the way it did. Maybe for next year they will have a small bday party with just her parents and your family. I would be sad also not to have a photo of an important moment in my bchilds life without her and me together. Cant believe no one thought of it, grrr.
Today is her actual birthday. She's at my home with my Josh and her Mom. I just want to go home from work (11) and hold her on my chest until she falls asleep. That's what she did after the birthday party last night (big crash after the sugar high) and it was the most wonderful feeling I have ever had in the world.
At this point in time on this date last year, I was all ready all alone in my hospital room, visiting hours were over. No one brought me the Munchkin; no one told me I could ask for her. I laid in my bed, hurting physically and emotionally, sobbing for the child down the hall. I watched the snow fall the same way it is tonight, our first true snow of this year. I just wanted to hold her, just as badly as tonight.
I could never imagine how much you hurt right now. My son's first birthday just came and went on November 3rd. I wanted so badly to be there when he had his first taste of birthday cake. I think of holding him almost every night. All I have are a few pictures and memories of holding him after he was born. I have been waiting for the afamily to initiate a visitation. I was going to wait to initiate a visitation until I graduate college in May 2006. I'm not sure if I want to wait until then. Did you initiate visitation or did the afamily initiate? I really want to see R in person, but I don't want make the afamily feel pressured in any way. Any suggestions on how to go about this? Please help!!
Advertisements
Eagle....how is communication between all of you? If you are in contact, I would simply ask if you can get together sometime. If not, i would start by just emailing them or calling them just to touch base. Offer some information on how you are doing, ask a few questions.....if you havent been in contact at all, they may be a bit surprised to hear from you, so this gives them time to adjust...After you have talked/emailed a couple times, then i'd suggest you make plans to get together for coffee or something. I really wouldnt wait until 2006...
just my opinion :)
Leigh
((Jenna)) I'm so sorry that happenned to you. Did you tell D how you felt/feel? Did these people know you?? Sometimes it's hard for people to talk to someone they don't know personally, but know their situation. Maybe they were afraid of saying something to you that would offend you. But still, they should've atleast made sure you were doing ok. When's the wedding?? BTW, the dress is absolutely GORGEOUS!! Shoot, now I want to get married.....................LOL :)
Advertisements