Advertisements
I joined this website and have been posting as an adoptee, but now I need to speak as a prospective adoptive parent. This is certainly unexpected but here goes: My 16 year old brother has a 15 year old girlfriend; they have been together (on and off) for about two years. They have been sleeping together for about a year. I knew about it because my brother always confides in me.
They have always been very responsible but for whatever reason they slipped up and now she is pregnant. Although they are both wonderful people, this is not the right time in their lives to try to parent their child.
My fiance and I have been talking about all this together and we are considering adopting the baby (provided my brother, his girlfriend, and our families agree). I should also mention that it is highly unlikely that I will ever be able to conceive. I've known this since I was about 10, so I have always expected that I would adopt children.
I do have concerns though, I wonder if it would be too hard on my brother to see me with the child, I wonder how (s)he will react to the information that his/her uncle and birthfather are one and the same. I already love this baby but if this is not the right thing for him/her then I won't do it, I just want the best for the baby.
Is anyone here involved in an intra-family adoption? I was adopted, but not by family so I would like to know how intra-family adoption is different for everyone involved. And am I selfish for wanting this child?
Like
Share
Advertisements
Hi my name is Shonelle and I placed my son for adoption 15 months ago. I think that it would be a very good thing for your brother and his girlfriend to really consider giving their child to you because they still have their whole lives ahead of them. I think if they chose to place the baby with you and your husband they would be very thankful they did that for their child's sake and for you not being able to have kids. I wish the best of luck to you and hope everything turns out for the best!
I placed my son with his paternal great-aunt and uncle. I am not an avocate of family adoptions but I do believe that they can work. In my case, it didn't. And whose to say that had I place with my side of the family it would have. There has to be a lot of communication, etc. I stayed with the bfather for almost five years and after placement the relatioship with his family was difficult. They seemed to pretend like the child just magically appeared and we had not part in it . I am also not an advocate of dishonesty and family members started being presented dishonestly, which I wanted no part of. If this is something that everyone wants, most importantly your brother and his girlfriend, just remember to communicate and get everything in writing. I was told that I was family and wouldn't need to have anything in writing with regards to letters and updates, etc. It was a hard lesson to learn at 18 but I didn't know what I knew then.