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I am helping my best friend begin her search for her birth mother. She has had a lot of turmoil in her life the past year and is terrified to be rejected by her b-mother. Her adoptive mother has rejected her off and on throughout her life. Her wonderful adoptive father past away two years ago. She is lost.
She was born at Richmond Memorial Hospital in Richmond, Va on March 19, 1968. Name given to her at birth was Tamara Lynne Smith. According to records her mother was a teenager forced by her parents to give her up. She knows the info is waiting at social services for when she is ready, but she is so afraid of being rejected by yet another mother. When her A-mother found out she was searching 12 yrs ago, she hit the roof, so she stopped. She knows I am doing some searching for her.
If anyone knows anything on the above info, please let me know. I think I mainly want her to know that birth mothers are out there searching and I would think if she was named at birth by her birth mother, that her b-mother most likely will not reject her.
Thank you
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Hi,
I am a birth mother in search of her birth daughter born 6-6-71 in Richmond, VA at Richmond Memorial Hospital. Up until last March, I did not feel like I had the right to search and intrude on my bdaughters life since I relinquished her. I did always say that I would welcome her with open arms if she contacted me. I also named her at birth because I wanted her to have an identity and not just be called "Baby H". Last March, I decided to search so that if one day she searched my name would be out there and it would be easy for her to find me. The agency did locate her aparents who informed her of my desires. She is not ready at this time to have contact, but did send me a copy of her wedding portrait which I cherish. I hope that one day she will find it in her heart to contact me. I'm glad I searched - at least I know that she is safe and happy. That I am at peace with. I would like to have the opportunity to thank her parents for providing her with a loving home.
I think everyone should search if inclined to do so. However, it is a very emotional roller coaster. Please be there for your friend if she decides to pursue finding her birth relatives. The outcome can be very unpredicitble.
Though being a birth mother, I can't imagine rejecting my own child that I carried for nine months. For me, there is no denying the bond. But everyone is different. I don't want to intrude on her life as she knows it. I just want to hear her voice and see her if she so desires.
Good Luck to your friend,
Barbara
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Barbara, thank you for your kind and inspiring words. I know my friend is very torn as to what to do. She told me last night that she has been thinking about her b-mother a lot lately - she's going through a separation with her husband and her only relative other then her two little girls is her a-mother who has basically written her off (and all because she separated from her husband). She has totally disowned her, changed her will, etc. My friend, although she puts up a good front, feels totally deserted and at a time when she needs her mother most.
She wonders if her b-mother thinks about her on March 19th and I told her that I couldn't imagine any b-m not doing that. I am certainly there for her and told her I would do whatever I could do to help her. I would make calls, I would go with her if she found her b-m, anything.
thank you again and I'll keep you posted.
JR