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I am looking for my fiance's daughter Tanisha Ann Souto. She was adopted with 2 of his other children Kevin and Annie Souto. Tanisha is I believe 17 now.
The weird thing is that we got a message this summer that Tanisha has an adult friend who looked up an uncle who at the time did not know where kevin (my fiance') was and was unable to tell them where her birthparents were. So she is looking for us also!!!!
She was adopted by a family with her 2 siblings who are still underage. DSS will not give us ANY information or help us in our search. They were adopted out of New Bedford Massachusetts and we believe that they are still in the state or on the border. Can someone please give me some information that would help me to locate Tanisha?
Her grandfather does have visitations but they weaned him out of the picture by making the visits further and further away. Could I send the grandfather for a visit to find out what's going on?
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You might be able to exchange letters through the DSS. When I had a foster-to-adopt placement(s), that is how my foster daughters could communicate with relatives. The DSS opens and reads the letters for appropriateness, removes any contact information, and sends them to me (if for my fdaughter(s)) and/or sends ours to the bio-relatives.
I would think a picture of you and your fiance would be appreciated.
One of the books I've read suggests that when older children are adopted the birthparents should 'give their blessing' to the children, and let the children know it is okay to be happy in their new family. So, even though this adoption sounds like it was some years ago, it might be nice for their father to say something like that anyway.
Might be useful to ask DSS for suggestions on what to say and what not to say.
Depending on the issues the children have (I assume there must be some neglect or abuse issues in the past that caused DSS and the courts to decide that adoption was the best choice for the children), the adoptive parents may not want to share the info with the children, or they might need to arrange some therapy for them to help deal with the information (because maybe this will stir up some old painful hurtful memories, e.g., why did our birthparents hurt us, were we bad, why weren't we lovable, etc.).
I'd be careful about using the grandfather, because it would be sad for him and the children if he lost his visits.
And trying to search for or contact children who are legally some one elses children, must surely be illegal.
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