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I love you so much Isaiah Edward. Looking into your face for the first time brought me to tears. I love everything about you...your scent, your full head of hair, the sweet little facial expressions you'd make, your little ears and the precious way you curl yourself into a ball when being held. I am with you always. As I listened to your heartbeat that first night, it brought home that you are half of me. My heart is your heart, my body, your body. How am I going to live my life without you? How am I going to go through each day without crying? Will the emptiness ever go away? Will you every love me?? That is my deepest fear. That you will be so happy and content with your life that you will have no need for me. How will I live with that. Your happiness means the world to me and knowing that you are "safe, happy, and loved" will bring me incredible joy. But I would be lying to say that is enough for me. I want more than that. I want you to love me and yet I know that is selfish. This is not about me...it is about you. Physically I place you in J&C's arms but spiritually I place you in the hands of God. You are loved Isaiah Edward. I pray for protection over you. You are meant for great things. Love always, Mommy V.
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I miss you baby!! C says they are sying their prayers with you every night and that every day they talk to you about me. That makes me feel SO good. They love you so much and so do I!! You are the most important thing in the world to all of us. I can't wait to see you in a few months. I love you always.
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