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Today my 8 yr olds birthmother is coming for a visit -- we have not been together in 6 years. We have had a very open adoption and then "M"'s life really changed and she has been physically around for 6 yrs - she phoned a few times in there ......today she and her two children who are younger then my daughter are coming for the day. I am SO excited but yet a little nervous - weird hey. We have two other children through adoption and have semi open adoption with their birth parents - wondering if this will effect them. I have spoken to the oldest about the different levels of adoptin and how some birthparents are just not able to have contact.
We are making Christmas cookies and having dinner together, we bought presents for the kids and my daughter bought a beautiful neckless for her birthmother. I am excited to be with her again because I have missed her being in our lives.
well, off to get things together - anyone who has expierenced a get together with many years between that would like to share words of wisdom -- I'm listening!!!
Daisy
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I too am anxious to know how things go! I imagine it will be emotional for the kids and your daughter's birthmom.
We think that our boys will also have their first visit with their birthmom and little sisters since they were under three in the next year or so (different scenario). I would love to know about reactions etc!
What a wonderufl day we had -- it was so great and we both used a 24 exposure roll of film!! "M" found so much joy in seeing that her birthdayghter has everything in life she had hoped for for her and to see her in an everyday expierence was very good for her. For my daughter it was really good also - she really got to know more about her birthfamily and where she gets certain things she does.
As for my younger daughter whom we have a semi open adoption with contact through the agency - she asked about when her birthmother would be coming a couple days after "M" was here - I told her that we have a different type of adoption with her birthfamily and that right now the birth parents are not comfortable with having visit's like "M" and explained how "M" hadn't been to a visit in 6 years and that sometimes they just need time to be ready. She was SO okay with that and said when your birthmom was ready to see her that we would just have her over then. I think being just point blank with her in that we don't have the same adoption with her and her little bothers parents as we do "M" made her understand better. She asked if her little brothers birthparents would ever come over and I said if they ever wanted to we would have them no problem. She is making a special card for her birthmother which I will send off to Bethany to forward to the birthparents, I think see needs to do something for them because the eldest daughter gave her birthmother a present.
All in All - it was good all the way around. The oldest had a wonderful day with her birthmother and birth siblings, my 5 yr old has a new understanding of her birthparents and now what's to send them something and when my children are happy - I am happy!!!
daisy
Matter of fact we have spoken on the phone several times sense the visit and have talked about getting together in March - her birthday is then.
Just a side note - my 5 yr old made a card for her birthparents and we are sending it out today. She decided she wanted them to know she is thinking about them....awe howsweet is that!!!
So again - I believe it was good even though I worried about things I believe it was a good decision and has sparked good feelings in all!!!
daisy
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