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Sorry to have waited so long to come back to this forum. But, it really is busy in my household right now. It has been five months since my three were placed with us, and this is the first time I have had to sit down at the computer. I reallly would like to hear from more moms of sibling groups. There are so many issues that have come up, especially with the middle child. I would like to be able to ask someone if these things are "normal" behaviors of a middle child, or if it has to do with him having been in foster care. The last time I was on this forum, I was considering sending the children back... but now, I would fight anyone trying to take them. We are currently waiting for DSS to get all of the paperwork together so that we can file. Hopefully, it will be finalized soon. Next time I have a free moment, I will take the time to tell everyone about the last five months.
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Anyone have ideas about space saving and/or organization for big families. If we have a sib group placed with us I'd like to hit the ground running. :) We're thinking that bunkbeds with drawers that extend all of the way across the length of the mattress could possibly eliminate the need for a dresser, or at least for extra dressers. If the sib group we're looking at is placed with us we will have one bedroom shared by three girls. For school lunches we make and freeze sandwiches, loaves at a time, in zippered sandwich bags. We make lunches in the evening so that in the morning we just have to throw a frozen sandwich in each bag. The kids say their sandwiches are never frozen by lunch, and that the bread is always nice and fresh. We do a list of suppers we will eat each day every month. We just copy it onto the next month so that it never takes long to do. It's great for shopping and keeps us from buying things we won't get around to eating. I always rolled my eyes about meal planning because it sounded so time-consuming and boring. It's still boring, but it doesn't take long. It also means that dh and I don't stand around the kitchen for 45 minutes every night eating potato chips and saying "I don't know, what do you want for supper?" We're starting to have one parent do groceries independently, too. It doesn't take as long and frees up time on the weekend. So what does everyone else do, or plan to do? Dawn H. Mom to:DD 13DD 7DD 1
Hi everyone,
I started the thread and then never checked it again! With this post being buried so deep I just over look it.
Well, as far as bedding goes, we are set! We have 2 sets of bunk beds, 2 cribs (only one set up) and a stand alone twin bed. We had 3 beds/room. We are opening our hearts up to 5 kids, but we know we'll probably start slow. Right now we are planning on fostering with the hope to one day adopt. We'd looked at a lot of sib groups in the photo listings and even though I knew it was stupid, when buying things for the rooms, I always had on particular group of kids in my mind. It was very dissapointing when they were not on the lists anymore....even though we knew it could happen. So now we are just keeping our options open.
People things we are insane for wanting to take on a sib group...esp we don't have any bio children yet. I'm thinking I'd rather tackle the sib group now when I have the time and energy haha! We are just playing the waiting game now.
I promise to check in again!
Shannon
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I'm still looking for a sib set, too........but it always seems the majority are 3 sibs or more - at least with the little ones.My agency does birth order placement only, so my kiddos have to be 3 or under. So if I get a single child, I'm looking at 0-2, hopefully under 1 (ha ha ha), or sibs 0-3. I did apply for two sets of sisters this week. 1 and 2 yr. old AA girls from Oregon and twin 1 yr old girls from CA (though that's a one in a million chance). So I'm still hopeful, but somewhat doubtfully so. Anyone else having luck?? Sandy
We are still here, still waiting. We did recieve a call from a worker this week saying that a little AA 2yr old we had applied for turned up a couple more siblings and she was checking with everyone that had applied for him to see if they would take all 4. We said Yes. But I think that just means we go back in the hat with the list of everyone willing to take all of them. DH and I have already discussed sleeping arrangements and names and such but "trying " not to get hopes up.
I have learned that in this interstate trying to adopt game even getting any response from a worker is a huge bonus!
Still hear still waiting!
Well we are still here waiting as well! Was hoping to be licensed and done last week, but with it being a short week, it didn't happen. Our licensing worker's supervisor has everything on her desk, but it was the end of the quarter and she had billing and paperwork that had to be done first. I personally think we are much more important, but oh well, so is life!
We are allowed to have bunks here. She said as long as the kids on top are 5 or older, it was fine! We are only going to be licensed for two to start out with (first 90 days) because they want us to get our feet wet. So who knows if we'll have siblings or two different placements. But they know we want to adopt a sibling set, so I hope they keep that in mind when referring placements!
Hope everyone is well! We can work our patience skills together!
Shannon
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My partner and I were licensed on 11-21, and we were placed with a sibling group of 2 boys, ages 17 months and 3 years old. We are still adjusting, but having a great time. They are a legal risk placement, and it will probably be at least 8 months before we have some idea whether they will be able to stay with us. Keep your fingers crossed! Dawn
Dawnr, Congrats on the boys! Those are great ages, lots of fun. I hope you're able to keep them permanently!!! Knudsons,I think I know who you're talking about - a little one from CA? I got that email too, but I said no. 2 yr old boy, 3 yr old twin sisters and almost 1 yr old baby brother? Too much for me. BTW, I wouldn't mention that you want to change their names. Many, many workers are very against that unless there's a safety reason - and if they're coming across state lines, you don't really have one. Trust me, though, name changing can open a big can of worms. I'm still looking as always. Seems like there are very few younger sib groups of 2 - feels like they're all groups of 3 or 4!!! But as a single mom that's just more than I can take on at the moment. My worker is giving up hope (yeah, that's great) and after 2 years of trying for my 3rd and/or 4th children, I'm not overly positive either. Am unwilling to give up yet, but it's difficult to say the least. Anyone else having any luck? Sandy
We got a sib group of 3! I've seen a huge increase on the photolistings of larger groups now. I guess they are just finding placements in state/local homes for smaller groups. I feel bad for the big groups...sometimes you see them online for awhile together and then they get broken up. I see a group from TX w/ 7 kids! 6 boys and a girl! We'd love to have a huge houseful of kids, however, our house just isn't big enough! One day we hope to buy/build a bigger house, so maybe we can have more. But 3-4 is our limit right now. We are quite happy with the 3 we have! Hopefully looking long term, but we dnn't know yet. They are doing well, and we are having fun! Its made life so much more interesting
Hope all are well! Ready for spring here so we can go play outside!
Shannon
We were lucky enough to get to adopt our sib.group. They were going to separate them into 2 different homes that were willing to adopt them separtely until we were intrested and said we wanted them all. The staff then decided it was PROBABLY in the best intrest for them all to be together and chose us. It amazes me that these kids would have been separtated because they have such a bond now that I would hate to have seen broken.
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Congrats mab!
I can see in cases where there has been abuse amongst the siblings, or a huge special need in one that might keep the others from being adopted, but most of the time I feel they should be together! I know our three would be lost if they were separated! They are little, but they've more or less raised each other!
Shannon